I was going to introduce today’s post by saying some like “I hope you are having a pun-tastic week”, but I thought I would sound like a demented DJ from the 1970s.
So I’ll just say hello and welcome and let you get on with the puns.
Enjoy or endure!!
.
.
Lite:
the new way to spell “Light,”
now with 20% fewer letters!
.
.
I was asked to man the phones
at work the other day.
So I went round and drew a
little mustache on all of them.
.
.
Spelling…
It’s not brian surgery.
.
.
Hamlet:
A small pig.
.
.
According to my Spanish doctor
I have Hepatitis Yes
.
.
My doctor told me to quit my helium addiction
before I got carried away.
.
.
2B or not 2B?
I don’t think I’ve ever put this much thought
into which shade of pencil to use before.
.
.
‘UK Man has first hand transplant.’
Surely that’s a second hand transplant.
.
.
I was taking a short cut across a field the other day,
I was halfway across when the farmer approached me and said,
“Did you leave that small wooden step at the edge of my field?”
I replied, “No, it wasn’t me, that’s not my stile”
Yes, fractions, food, and French Horns are just some of the questions you’ll face if you take this week’s quiz.
A random and challenging assortment, but as usual, if you get stuck, you will find the answers waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below. But please, NO cheating!
Enjoy and good luck.
.
.
Q. 1: The name of what American city means “the meadows” in Spanish?
.
.
Q. 2: How many women now regularly wear shoes with heels higher than one inch to work?
a) 15% b) 25% c) 35% d) 45%
.
.
Q. 3: What year was the death penalty abolished in England?
a) 1959 b) 1969 c) 1979 d) 1989
.
.
Q. 4: What number lies halfway between 1/3 and 1/5?
.
.
Q. 5: What was the first nation to give women the right to vote?
.
.
Q. 6: From what type of creature is ‘Bombay duck’ made?
.
.
Q. 7: Which country would you be in if you were skiing in the Dolomites?
.
.
Q. 8: It is the name of a fragrant cosmetic and a city in Germany, what is it?
.
.
Q. 9: In which country did French horns originate?
.
.
Q. 10: What acid is associated with muscles in the body experiencing lack of oxygen?
.
.
Q. 11: In Roman times what was a gladiator armed with, in addition to a dagger and spear?
.
.
Q. 12: From which plant do we get ‘Vanilla’?
.
.
Q. 13: What is ‘Hansen’s disease’ more commonly known as?
.
.
Q. 14: What was the name of the political system in South Africa from 1948 to 1994?
.
.
Q. 15: ‘Wild Marjoram’ is another name for which commonly used herb?
.
.
Q. 16: How deep is one fathom of water?
.
.
Q. 17: How many different letters are used in Roman numerals and what are their values? (A point for each part of the question correctly answered.)
.
.
Q. 18: What common mineral is used to make casts, moulds, blackboard chalk and plaster of Paris?
.
.
Q. 19: What extinct creature got its name from the Portuguese word for stupid? (Hint: the answer is not Congressman.)
.
.
Q. 20: Who created the cartoon characters “The Simpsons”?
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
ANSWERS
.
Q. 1: The name of what American city means “the meadows” in Spanish?
A. 1: Las Vegas.
.
.
Q. 2: How many women now regularly wear shoes with heels higher than one inch to work?
a) 15% b) 25% c) 35% d) 45%
A. 2: The correct answer is b) 25%.
.
.
Q. 3: What year was the death penalty abolished in England?
a) 1959 b) 1969 c) 1979 d) 1989
A. 3: The correct answer is b) 1969.
.
.
Q. 4: What number lies halfway between 1/3 and 1/5?
A. 4: 4/15ths
.
.
Q. 5: What was the first nation to give women the right to vote?
A. 5: New Zealand, in 1893.
.
.
Q. 6: From what type of creature is ‘Bombay duck’ made?
A. 6: Fish (specifically a Bummalo fish).
.
.
Q. 7: Which country would you be in if you were skiing in the Dolomites?
A. 7: Italy.
.
.
Q. 8: It is the name of a fragrant cosmetic and a city in Germany, what is it?
A. 8: Cologne.
.
.
Q. 9: In which country did French horns originate?
A. 9: Germany.
.
.
Q. 10: What acid is associated with muscles in the body experiencing lack of oxygen?
A. 10: Lactic acid.
.
.
Q. 11: In Roman times what was a gladiator armed with, in addition to a dagger and spear?
A. 11: A net.
.
.
Q. 12: From which plant do we get ‘Vanilla’?
A. 12: The Orchid.
.
.
Q. 13: What is ‘Hansen’s disease’ more commonly known as?
A. 13: Leprosy.
.
.
Q. 14: What was the name of the political system in South Africa from 1948 to 1994?
A. 14: Apartheid.
.
.
Q. 15: ‘Wild Marjoram’ is another name for which commonly used herb?
A. 15: Oregano.
.
.
Q. 16: How deep is one fathom of water?
A. 16: 1.82 Meters or 6 feet.
.
.
Q. 17: How many different letters are used in Roman numerals and what are their values? (A point for each part of the question correctly answered.)
A. 17: Seven or VII (They are, I = 1, V = 5, X = 10, L = 50, C = 100, D = 500, M = 1000)
.
.
Q. 18: What common mineral is used to make casts, moulds, blackboard chalk and plaster of Paris?
A. 18: Gypsum.
.
.
Q. 19: What extinct creature got its name from the Portuguese word for stupid? (Hint: the answer is not Congressman.)
A. 19: The Dodo.
.
.
Q. 20: Who created the cartoon characters “The Simpsons”?
As usual if you get stuck you can find the answers waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please, NO cheating!
Enjoy and good luck.
.
.
Q. 1: Who played Cameron Poe in the action movie Con Air?
.
.
Q. 2: What is the lowest number on the FM dial?
.
.
Q. 3: We’ve all seen the iconic ‘Jeep’, but approximately how many were built during WWII?
a) 250,000 b) 450,000 c) 650,000 d) 850,000 or e) 1,050,000
.
.
Q. 4: Think about a map of the bottom of South America for this one, what strait separates Chile from Tierra Del Fuego?
.
.
Q. 5: One of the most famous up-market automobile brands is BMW, but what do the letters ‘B-M-W’ stand for?
.
.
Q. 6: Who is former government agent ‘Raymond “Red” Reddington’ in the excellent television series ‘The Blacklist’?
.
.
Q. 7: Founded in 1592, what is the oldest university in the Republic of Ireland called?
.
.
Q. 8: Founded in 1908 what is the oldest university in Northern Ireland called?
.
.
Q. 9: How many hot dog buns are in a standard package?
.
.
Q. 10: What is the capital city of each of the following European countries? (A point for each correct answer, plus a bonus point if you name them all correctly.)
a) Greece b) Britain c) France d) Spain e) Portugal f) Switzerland
.
.
Q. 11: Fifty cardinals, two flamingos and six penguins attended the 1963 London premiere of what movie?
.
.
Q. 12: Mahatma Gandhi qualified in England for which profession before practicing in South Africa and then moving back to India?
.
.
Q. 13: Name North America’s ‘Great Lakes’? (A point for each correct answer, plus a bonus point if you name them all correctly.)
.
.
Q. 14: The stirring voices of Anthony Quinn, Richard Burton and Curd Jürgens were all used, albeit in different versions, to narrate what?
.
.
Q. 15: How many states in the United States of America begin with the letter ‘C’? (Bonus points for each one you name correctly.)
.
.
Q. 16: What American born actor of the 1930s to the 1950s shares his name with a county in Northern Ireland?
.
.
Q. 17: Who was allegedly the first Christian Emperor of Rome and founder of Constantinople?
.
.
Q. 18: Which fruit plays a role in the downfall of Captain Queeg in the movie ‘The Caine Mutiny’?
.
.
Q. 19: In which year did William Shakespeare die?
.
.
Q. 20: What member of this musical family was a ‘Long Haired Lover From Liverpool’?
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
ANSWERS
.
Q. 1: Who played Cameron Poe in the action movie Con Air?
A. 1: Nicolas Cage.
.
.
Q. 2: What is the lowest number on the FM dial?
A. 2: 88.
.
.
Q. 3: We’ve all seen the iconic ‘Jeep’, but approximately how many were built during WWII?
a) 250,000 b) 450,000 c) 650,000 d) 850,000 or e) 1,050,000
A. 3: The correct answer is c) approximately 650,000 Jeeps were built during WWII.
.
.
Q. 4: Think about a map of the bottom of South America for this one, what strait separates Chile from Tierra Del Fuego?
A. 4: The Strait of Magellan. (Sometimes also called The Straits of Magellan.)
.
.
Q. 5: One of the most famous up-market automobile brands is BMW, but what do the letters ‘B-M-W’ stand for?
A. 5: ‘BMW’ is an acronym for ‘Bavarian Motor Works’.
.
.
Q. 6: Who is former government agent ‘Raymond “Red” Reddington’ in the excellent television series ‘The Blacklist’?
A. 6: James Spader.
.
.
Q. 7: Founded in 1592, what is the oldest university in the Republic of Ireland called?
A. 7: Trinity College, aka the University of Dublin.
.
.
Q. 8: Founded in 1908 what is the oldest university in Northern Ireland called?
A. 8: Queens University.
.
.
Q. 9: How many hot dog buns are in a standard package?
A. 9: 8.
.
.
Q. 10: What is the capital city of each of the following European countries? (A point for each correct answer, plus a bonus point if you name them all correctly.)
a) Greece b) Britain c) France d) Spain e) Portugal f) Switzerland
A. 10: a) Athens b) London c) Paris d) Madrid e) Lisbon f) Berne
.
.
Q. 11: Fifty cardinals, two flamingos and six penguins attended the 1963 London premiere of what movie?
A. 11: The clue was in the question, it was the movie premier of ‘The Birds’.
.
.
Q. 12: Mahatma Gandhi qualified in England for which profession before practicing in South Africa and then moving back to India?
A. 12: Law.
.
.
Q. 13: Name North America’s ‘Great Lakes’? (A point for each correct answer, plus a bonus point if you name them all correctly.)
A. 13: North America’s ‘Great Lakes’ consist of Lakes ‘Superior’, ‘Michigan’, ‘Huron’, ‘Erie’, and ‘Ontario’.
.
.
Q. 14: The stirring voices of Anthony Quinn, Richard Burton and Curd Jürgens were all used, albeit in different versions, to narrate what?
A. 14: Jeff Wayne’s musical version of ‘The War Of The Worlds’. Burton’s was used in the English version, Quinn’s in the Spanish, and Jürgens’ in the German.
.
.
Q. 15: How many states in the United States of America begin with the letter ‘C’? (Bonus points for each one you name correctly.)
A. 15: Three states in the US begin with the letter’C’, California, Colorado and Connecticut.
.
.
Q. 16: What American born actor of the 1930s to the 1950s shares his name with a county in Northern Ireland?
A. 16: Tyrone Power. County Tyrone is one of the six counties of Northern Ireland.
.
.
Q. 17: Who was allegedly the first Christian Emperor of Rome and founder of Constantinople?
A. 17: Constantine The Great.
.
.
Q. 18: Which fruit plays a role in the downfall of Captain Queeg in the movie ‘The Caine Mutiny’?
A. 18: Strawberries.
.
.
Q. 19: In which year did William Shakespeare die?
A. 19: It should be an easy one to remember, the year was 1616.
.
.
Q. 20: What member of this musical family was a Long Haired Lover From Liverpool?
Another month has appeared on the calendar. Unbelievably we’re almost half way through 2014 already!
But what better way to start the first week of another month than with another twenty brain-buster questions.
Business, politics, geography, history, nature, movies and music are all in here this week.
Let’s see how you do.
Enjoy and good luck.
.
.
Q. 1: What do octopus’ and goat’s eyes have in common?
.
.
Q. 2: What common English word comes from the French expression meaning “death pledge”?
.
.
Q. 3: Adjusting for inflation, which of these two men is the richest man in history, John D Rockerfeller or Bill Gates?
.
.
Q. 4: What is the term for yawning and stretching at the same time?
.
.
Q. 5: What US President is famous for having filed a report for a UFO sighting in 1973, calling it “the darndest thing I’ve ever seen.”
.
.
Q. 6: In the last 4000 years, how many new animals have been domesticated?
.
.
Q. 7: What is the Greek version of the Old Testament called?
.
.
Q. 8: Soweto is a very famous location on the outskirts of Johannesburg in South Africa, but how did it get its name?
.
.
Q. 9: Between 1926 and 1976, John Wayne appeared in over 170 motion pictures, and became one of America’s biggest box office stars, but what was the title of his last movie?
.
.
Q. 10: What is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon? (Two bonus points if you can name the year too.)
.
.
Q. 11: what was the only part of the United States that was invaded by the Japanese during WWII?
.
.
Q. 12: Why do spiral staircases in medieval castles run clockwise?
.
.
Q. 13: What are the only birds able to fly backwards.
.
.
Q. 14: If you were standing in the northernmost point in the contiguous (48) US states, what state would you be standing in?
.
.
Q. 15: Name the six main characters in the long running TV comedy series ‘The Beverly Hillbillies’? (A point for each and bonus points if you can name the actors who played them.)
.
.
Q. 16: What is the only Canadian Province that borders the Great Lakes?
.
.
Q. 17: Only four letters in the latin alphabet look the same if you turn them upside down or see them from behind, a point for each one you can name correctly?
.
.
Q. 18: Previously set in Los Angeles, Washington DC and New York, what City is the location for the latest series of the hit TV show ‘24’?
.
.
Q. 19: What is the only US State that begins with an “A” but does not end with an “A”?
.
.
Q. 20: Who shared ‘Endless Love’ with Luther Van-Dross in 1994?
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
ANSWERS
.
Q. 1: What do octopus’ and goat’s eyes have in common?
A. 1: Both have rectangular pupils.
.
.
Q. 2: What common English word comes from the French expression meaning “death pledge”?
A. 2: The common English word ‘mortgage’ comes from the French expression meaning “death pledge”.
.
.
Q. 3: Adjusting for inflation, which of these two men is the richest man in history, John D Rockerfeller or Bill Gates?
A. 3: When adjusted for inflation, John D Rockerfeller is the richest man in the history of the world, with a net worth 10 times more than Bill Gates.
.
.
Q. 4: What is the term for yawning and stretching at the same time?
A. 4: When you yawn and stretch at the time, you are “pandiculating.”
.
.
Q. 5: What US President is famous for having filed a report for a UFO sighting in 1973, calling it “the darndest thing I’ve ever seen.”
A. 5: Jimmy Carter filed a report for a UFO sighting in 1973.
.
.
Q. 6: In the last 4000 years, how many new animals have been domesticated?
A. 6: Bit of a trick question, in the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated. Take a point if you answered ‘none’ or ‘zero’.
.
.
Q. 7: What is the Greek version of the Old Testament called?
A. 7: The Greek version of the Old Testament is called the ‘Septuagint’.
.
.
Q. 8: Soweto is a very famous location on the outskirts of Johannesburg in South Africa, but how did it get its name?
A. 8: Soweto in South Africa was derived from SOuth WEst TOwnship.
.
.
Q. 9: Between 1926 and 1976, John Wayne appeared in over 170 motion pictures, and became one of America’s biggest box office stars, but what was the title of his last movie?
A. 9: John Wayne’s final movie was ‘The Shootist’, made in 1976 and in which he played the part of aging former gunslinger John Bernard Books.
.
.
Q. 10: What is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon? (Two bonus points if you can name the year too.)
A. 10: February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.
.
.
Q. 11: what was the only part of the United States that was invaded by the Japanese during WWII?
A. 11: Alaska was the only part of the United States that was invaded by the Japanese during WWII. The territory was the island of Adak in the Aleutian Chain. Pearl Harbor, Hawaii was attacked, but not invaded.
.
.
Q. 12: Why do spiral staircases in medieval castles run clockwise?
A. 12: Spiral staircases in medieval castles run clockwise because all knights used to be right-handed and would therefore carry their swords in their right hand.
.
.
Q. 13: What are the only birds able to fly backwards.
A. 13: Hummingbirds are the only birds able to fly backwards.
.
.
Q. 14: If you were standing in the northernmost point in the contiguous (48) US states, what state would you be standing in?
A. 14: If you were standing in the northernmost point in the contiguous (48) US states, you’d be standing in Minnesota.
.
.
Q. 15: Name the six main characters in the long running TV comedy series ‘The Beverly Hillbillies’? (A point for each and bonus points if you can name the actors who played them.)
A. 15: The characters in the Beverly Hillbillies were Jed Clampett, Granny, Ellie May, Jethro, unscrupulous banker Mr Drysdale and his long-suffering assistant Miss Hathaway, played respectively by Buddy Ebsen, Irene Ryan, Donna Douglas, Max Baer, Jr., Raymond Bailey and Nancy Kulp.
.
.
Q. 16: What is the only Canadian Province that borders the Great Lakes?
A. 16: Ontario is the only Canadian Province that borders the Great Lakes.
.
.
Q. 17: Only four letters in the latin alphabet look the same if you turn them upside down or see them from behind, a point for each one you can name correctly?
A. 17: The only letters in the latin alphabet that look the same if you turn them upside down or see them from behind are ‘H’ ‘I’ ‘O’ and ‘X’.
.
.
Q. 18: Previously set in Los Angeles, Washington DC and New York, what City is the location for the latest series of the hit TV show ‘24’?
A. 18: The latest series of ‘24’ is set in London, England.
.
.
Q. 19: What is the only US State that begins with an “A” but does not end with an “A”?
A. 19: Arkansas is the only US State that begins with “A” but does not end with “A”, all the other States that begin with “A”, Arizona, Alabama and Alaska, also end with “A”.
.
.
Q. 20: Who shared ‘Endless Love’ with Luther Van-Dross in 1994?
It’s always good to start and end the working week with something amusing. Takes a little of the dread out of Mondays and on Fridays sets the right mood for the weekend.
Here is another selection of examples of the public at large putting pen to paper without engaging brain first. We’ve seen what can happen with lawyers,Church notices, in the ER, and on the 9-1-1 telephones. This time we have a selection of extracts from genuine letters sent to a government Pensions and Insurance Office.
Hope you enjoy.
.
.
.
“I cannot get sick pay. I have six children. Can you tell me why this is?” .
.
“This is my eighth child. What are you doing about it?”
.
.
“Mrs. Brown has no clothes and has not had any for a year. The vicar has been visiting her.”
.
.
“In reply to your letter. I have already co-habited with your office, so far without result.”
.
.
“I am forwarding my marriage certificate and two children, one of which is a mistake as you will see.”
.
.
“Sir, I am glad to say my husband, reported missing, is now dead.”
.
.
“Unless I get my husband’s money I shall be forced to lead an immoral life.”
.
.
“I am writing these lines for Mrs. Green who cannot write herself. She expects to be confined next week and can do with it.”
.
.
“I have enclosed my marriage certificate and six children. I have some and one died, which was baptized on a half sheet of paper by the Rev. Thomas.”
.
.
“Please find out if my husband is dead, as the man I am now living with won’t eat or do anything until he is sure.”
.
.
“In answer to your letter I have given birth to a little boy weighing ten pounds. Is this satisfactory?”
.
.
“You have changed my little girl into a little boy. Will this make any difference.”
.
.
“Please send my money at once as I have fallen into errors with my landlord.”
.
.
“I have no children as my husband is a bus driver and works all day and all night.”
.
.
“In accordance with your instructions I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope.”
.
.
“I want money as quick as you can sent it. I have been in bed with my doctor all week and he does not seem to be doing me any good.”
.
.
“Milk is wanted for my baby as the father is unable to supply it.”
.
.
“Regarding your enquiry the teeth in the top are alright but the ones in the bottom are hurting terribly.”
fasab 