Does A Man Need A Mistress Just To Break The Monogamy?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Let’s not get into a discussion on marriage.

Rather just investigate some more of those word plays we call puns.

Enjoy or endure!

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rofl

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Did you hear about the two crooks who bought a hotel.

They were inn-mates.

cell-mates

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“This fishing tackle tastes disgusting!”

he said with baited breath.

fishing tackle

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So the barman says to Paddy,

“Your glass is empty, would you like another one?”

“Another one?” Paddy replies,

“Sure what would I want with two empty glasses?”

in bar

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In America,

2pac’s of Eminem’s cost 50 Cents.

That’s Ludacris.

ludacris

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We’ve got neighbors from Hell

A lovely old Norwegian couple…

Images of Norway

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“I had a vision out of the cornea of my eye

that you would be a great pupil,”

the teacher said.

eye

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My wife had one of those near death experiences last night

Silly woman thought she could vacuum the floors

while the super bowl was on.

vacuum cleaner

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When a college dormitory exploded

a lot of roomers were flying.

kaboom

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CNN News “Tree Falls On Bank”

Didn’t say what branch though.

tree falls on building

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When Billy was sent to prison the first thing he said

to his cell mate was, “I won’t be in here long”

“Well the judge gave you six years,” his cell mate said.

“Yeah I know,” Billy replied. “But my wife will break me out

she’s never let me finish a sentence before.”

law-order-gaol-gaols-prisons-crime-criminal-ksmn2964l

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By the way,

I’m hosting a charity evening and raffle this Saturday evening

to raise money for people who struggle to reach orgasm.

If you can’t come let me know.

raffle_tickets

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What do you call a man with no shins?

Tony.

(Get it? No shins, Toe-Knee.)

man with no shins

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My son just asked, “Dad, can you tell me what gay means?”

“It means to be happy,” I replied.

“Are you gay, dad?”

“No, son. I married your mother!”

father and son

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My route to work has been scattered with average speed cameras.

You’d think the tight asses would have shelled out for the decent ones.

average speed camera

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I’m just off for a meeting with an Indian car maker.

Tata.

Tata-Motors

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When it comes to charity many people stop at nothing.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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We’re playing with the meanings of words again.

Yes it’s another pun day.

Enjoy!

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Why do they call it a strip mall

if I’m the only one with my clothes off?

strip mall

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They say that all the best ideas will always fit on a beer mat.

Like a beer, for example.

beer mat

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When chatting up women, saying “you have beautiful eyes”

is one of the more cornea things to say.

They can see right through it.

beautiful eyes

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If you want to see real change…..

Always pay with cash.

change

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My girlfriend keeps telling me that making

clothes based puns is really not funny.

Corset is!

corset cartoon

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If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache,

do what it says on the aspirin bottle:

“Take two aspirin” and “Keep away from children.”

aspirin cartoon

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Did you hear about the flasher who was thinking of retiring?

He decided to stick it out for one more year.

Flasher

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BA has made a statement about flights out of Heathrow:

“I ain’t getting on no plane, fool!”

Mr T

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There are 10 types of people in this world.

Those who understand binary and those who don’t.

real-programmers-code-in-binary

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Why is it so groovy to be a test tube baby?

Because you get a womb with a view.

test_tube_baby

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If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea.

Does that mean that one out of five enjoys it?

diarrhea

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Is dancing cheek-to-cheek really a form of floor play?

dancing cheek to cheek

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It’s wasn’t that the man did not know how to juggle,

he just didn’t have the balls to do it.

juggler

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I hate it when I find a piece missing from a jigsaw.

But I love it when I find a piece missing from a jigsaw.

jigsaw-piece-cartoon

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