More Stupid Signs By Stupid People For Stupid People.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Catering for the lowest common denominator in intelligence can be very frustrating for the rest of us.

But apparently stupidity has reached levels today where stupid people will hurt themselves with things that shouldn’t hurt them, if they had the wit to understand what they were and how use them properly.

Personally I think there is some merit in letting them get on with it and perhaps thereby gradually eliminating chronic stupidity from the gene pool.

In the meantime all we can do is cringe and laugh.

Here are some more.

Enjoy.

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stupidity is contageous sign

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“Not to be used as a personal flotation device.”

On a 6 x 10 inch inflatable picture frame.

 inflatable picture frame

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“Do not put in mouth.”

On a box of bottle rockets.

 bottle rockets

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“Remove plastic before eating.”

On the wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack.

 Fruit Roll-Up snack

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“Not dishwasher safe.”

On a remote control for a TV.

 remote control for a TV

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“For lifting purposes only.”

On the box for a car jack.

 car jack

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“Do not put lit candles on phone.”

On the instructions for a cordless phone.

 lit candles

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“Warning! This is not underwear!

Do not attempt to put in pants.”

On the packaging for a wristwatch.

 packaging for a wristwatch

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“Safe for use around pets.”

On a box of Arm & Hammer Cat Litter.

 Arm & Hammer Cat Litter

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“No stopping or standing.”

A sign at bus stops everywhere.

 No stopping or standing

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“Do not sit under coconut trees.”

A sign on a coconut palm in a

West Palm Beach park circa 1950.

 Do not sit under coconut trees

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“These rows reserved for parents with children.”

A sign in a church.

 parents with children

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“All cups leaving this store, whether

full or empty, must be paid for.”

A sign in a Cumberland Farms

in Hillsboro, New Hampshire.

 cups

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The Little Christmas Quiz!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Last week we had the BIG Christmas quiz and thank you to everyone who visited and tried it out.

And a very special thanks to the Coastal Crone who reblogged it.

Since we are all used to ‘leftovers’ at this time of the year I thought I would use my leftover questions from last week’s BIG quiz for a little one this week.

The questions still have a Christmassy theme and as usual, if you get stuck, you can find the answers waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below.

So enjoy what’s left of the Christmas holiday and good luck with the quiz.

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the-little-christmas-quiz

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Q.  1:  How many points does a snowflake have? (Sorry there’s only one point for the correct answer.)

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Q.  2:  Charles Dickens is said to have considered the names ‘Little Larry’ and ‘Puny Pete’ for which character? (A bonus point is available if you can also correctly name the Dickens novel in which the character appears.)

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Q.  3:  In which country that made the news a lot during 2014, and the largest country of its continent, is it said that finding a spider web on Christmas morning brings good luck, and so Christmas trees are decorated with artificial spider webs?

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Q.  4:  What is New Year’s Eve called in Scotland?

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Q.  5:  What former Egyptian president was born on Christmas day in 1918?

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Q.  6:  Which alcoholic ingredient is used in a ‘Snowball’ cocktail?

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Q.  7:  And what animal is ‘Snowball’ in George Orwell’s ‘Animal Farm’?

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Q.  8:  Derived from the Latin word meaning ‘coming’, what is the name of the period leading up to Christmas?

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Q.  9:  In the rhyme ‘Christmas is coming’, who is getting ‘fat’?

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Q. 10:  The first singing radio commercial, which aired in the US on Christmas Eve 1926, was for which brand?

            a) Rolex            b) BMW            c) Wheaties            d) Durex

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Q. 11:  Why is the male turkey often referred to as ‘Tom Turkey’?

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Q. 12:  In what country did Christmas Trees originate?

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Q. 13:  How many ‘Wise Men’ brought gifts to Jesus?

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Q. 14:  Which English monarch was crowned on Christmas Day in Westminster Abbey?

            a) William I            b) William II            c) William III            d) William IV

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Q. 15:  Name the two administrative and ex-colonial regions of China for which Christmas day remains a legal public holiday, whereas in the main country it is not? (A point for each that you name correctly.)

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Q. 16:  The Christmas favorite of ‘Pigs in Blankets’ is chipolata sausages wrapped in what?

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Q. 17:  In Mexico, it is said that wearing what color underwear on New Year’s Eve ensures finding new love the following year?

            a) Yellow            b) Green            c) Red            d) Brown

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Q. 18:  Father Christmas is known as ‘Pai Natal’ in which European country?

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Q. 19:  The surname ‘Chandler’ derives from the making or selling of what?

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Q. 20:  What was Mr Bean searching for when he got his head stuck in a turkey?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  How many points does a snowflake have? (Sorry there’s only one point for the correct answer.)

A.  1:  Six.

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Q.  2:  Charles Dickens is said to have considered the names ‘Little Larry’ and ‘Puny Pete’ for which character? (A bonus point is available if you can also correctly name the Dickens novel in which the character appears.)

A.  2:  The character is ‘Tiny Tim’ and he appears in ‘A Christmas Carol’.

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Q.  3:  In which country that made the news a lot during 2014, and the largest country of its continent, is it said that finding a spider web on Christmas morning brings good luck, and so Christmas trees are decorated with artificial spider webs?

A.  3:  The correct answer is Ukraine. (Since it is the time to be generous you can also have a point if you said ‘Poland’. Although it does not fulfill all the parameters of the question, spiders or spider webs are common Christmas trees decorations in Poland because according to legend, a spider wove a blanket for Baby Jesus. In fact, Polish people consider spiders to be symbols of goodness and prosperity at Christmas.)

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Q.  4:  What is New Year’s Eve called in Scotland?

A.  4:  Hogmanay.

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Q.  5:  What former Egyptian president was born on Christmas day in 1918?

A.  5:  Anwar Sadat.

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Q.  6:  Which alcoholic ingredient is used in a ‘Snowball’ cocktail?

A.  6:  Advocaat.

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Q.  7:  And what animal is ‘Snowball’ in George Orwell’s ‘Animal Farm’?

A.  7:  A Pig.

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Q.  8:  Derived from the Latin word meaning ‘coming’, what is the name of the period leading up to Christmas?

A.  8:  Advent.

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Q.  9:  In the rhyme ‘Christmas is coming’, who is getting ‘fat’?

A.  9:  The goose.

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Q. 10:  The first singing radio commercial, which aired in the US on Christmas Eve 1926, was for which brand?

            a) Rolex            b) BMW            c) Wheaties            d) Durex

A. 10:  The correct answer is c) Wheaties.

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Q. 11:  Why is the male turkey often referred to as ‘Tom Turkey’?

A. 11:  After Thomas Jefferson, because Jefferson was opposed to the idea of a turkey as the national bird.

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Q. 12:  In what country did Christmas Trees originate?

A. 12:  Germany. (Technically it was Latvia but at that time it was part of Germany.)

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Q. 13:  How many ‘Wise Men’ brought gifts to Jesus?

A. 13:  ‘More than one’ is the correct answer, the Bible does not specify how many. (If you said ‘3’ you don’t get a point.)

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Q. 14:  Which English monarch was crowned on Christmas Day in Westminster Abbey?

            a) William I            b) William II            c) William III            d) William IV

A. 14:  The correct answer is a) William I.

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Q. 15:  Name the two administrative and ex-colonial regions of China for which Christmas day remains a legal public holiday, whereas in the main country it is not? (A point for each that you name correctly.)

A. 15:  Hong Kong and Macau.

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Q. 16:  The Christmas favorite of ‘Pigs in Blankets’ is chipolata sausages wrapped in what?

A. 16:  Bacon.

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Q. 17:  In Mexico, it is said that wearing what color underwear on New Year’s Eve ensures finding new love the following year?

            a) Yellow            b) Green            c) Red            d) Brown

A. 17:  The correct answer is c) Red.

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Q. 18:  Father Christmas is known as ‘Pai Natal’ in which European country?

A. 18:  Portugal.

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Q. 19:  The surname ‘Chandler’ derives from the making or selling of what?

A. 19:  Candles.

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Q. 20:  What was Mr Bean searching for when he got his head stuck in a turkey?

A. 20:  His wrist watch.

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Why Isn’t There An I In Cyclops?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Pun day again. How quickly they seem to come around.

Here’s the latest selection.

Enjoy or endure!

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rofl

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The key to winning world’s best chiropodist title is no mean feet.

worlds_greatest_podiatrist_women_cartoon_poster

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I got woken up at 5am today by a bird tweeting.

If she doesn’t get a grip on her Internet addiction soon, I’m dumping her.

Woman in front of a computer with Twitter logo

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Mulled wine is just wine that people think a lot about.

mulled wine

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My friend told me he is going to a fancy dress

party as a native American warrior.

I thought, that’s brave.

indian brave

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I’ve just given a ten minute presentation

about underwear to Stephen Hawking.

It was a timed history of briefs.

Stephen Hawking A Brief History Of Time

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My friend asked me,

“Why are you so lazy when it comes to numbers?”

I said “You do the maths.”

math problem

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Dave the slug and Pete the termite are in the pub.

“I’d love to win the lottery,” Dave the slug said.

“Not me,” replied Pete the termite. “No way.”

“Why not?” asked Dave the slug.

“It would be a nightmare,” Pete the termite said.

“I’d have all my family crawling out of the woodwork after a share.”

termite cartoon

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I said to the wife, “How come I never find you in the mood for sex?”

She replied, “You don’t look hard enough.”

husband and wife in bed cartoon

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I always pray before I play a game of pool.

That way the angles help me.

pool shark

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Reports are coming in of a huge explosion

in a baking powder factory.

Police are expecting casualties to rise.

explosion in factory

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My wife gets furious when I put her down in front of my friends.

But it’s really embarrassing carrying around a 35 year old woman.

man-holding-woman

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What is small, red and whispers?

A hoarse raddish.

cartoon-radish-raising-his-hands

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While trekking in Nepal I saw a Yeti with an awesome six-pack.

Must have been the abdominal snowman.

abdominable snowman

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To become a good dentist,

you need a degree in Flossify.

flossing cartoon

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Just found out that ‘Aaarrrggghhh’ is not a real word.

I can’t even tell you how angry I am!

aaarrrggghhh

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Did They Really Mean To Say That? – Newspaper Headline Nightmares, Part Sixteen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Believe it or not, part sixteen of the newspapers headline nightmares series.

Just goes to prove that these are not isolated incidents and that stupidity doesn’t go away.

As always, enjoy.

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np_threats

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np_tiger

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np_tiger69

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np_toiletpaper

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np_twotheories

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np_under15s

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np_underwear

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np_urineears

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np_votersjampolls

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np_wang

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np_weightgain

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np_weiner

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It’s Monday And That Means Some More Quiz Show Answers.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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It’s Monday and that means some more quiz show answers.

I can’t make up my mind if they are getting worse every week, but they don’t ever seem to improve much that’s for sure!

Enjoy.

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Q: What hard cheese derives its name from the city of Rome?   

A: Swiss

swiss cheese

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Q: Who are the cartoon mascots of Rice Krispies cereal?           

A: Crispy & Crunch

snap crackle pop

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Q: In religion, the Jehovah’s Witnesses distribute Awake and what other magazine?         

A: MAD

watchtower

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Q: What stock symbol does International Business Machines trade under?          

A: NYB

ibm-logo-3

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Q: What former child actor played the sympathetic Cornelius in the original “Planet of the Apes”?

A: Gary Coleman

Cornelius

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Q: In 1994, what sporting event was canceled due to a player’s strike?    

A: China

new china logo

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Q: What “T” is both an item of underwear and a rising column of warm air?         

A: Turtle

cartoon_turtle

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Q: The name of what ceremony of the installation of a new monarch comes from the Latin for “crown”?   

A: Head           

queen

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Q: Which US state is home to the Boston Symphony Orchestra?

A: Boston

boston map

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Q: What cast member of “The Carol Burnett Show” played the title character on NBC’s “Mama’s Family?” 

A: Mama

mamas family

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Q: Which figure skater was implicated in the 1994 attack on Olympic teammate Nancy Kerrigan? 

A: Monica Lewinsky

Monica Lewinsky

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Q: In nature, most unripe fruit is which color, purple or green?    

A: Plum

cartoon plum

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Q: What was the name of Madonna’s concert tour in 1990?        

A: Blond Tart    

Madonna

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Q: The name of which small, wingless, jumping insect precedes “bite”, “collar”, and “market” to give three familiar terms?

A: Bicycle        

cartoon-flea

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Expect The Worst, It’s Quiz Show Answers Monday!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Another foray into the hidden shallows of the human mind as shown by the answers some hapless contestants have given on television and radio quiz shows.

Marvel at the stupidity.

And enjoy!

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Q: Name something you might buy that could turn out to be phony        

A: A Horse

panto horse

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Q: Name something that dries up as it gets old  

A: Water

dry water.

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Q: The one thing that the people living near you have that you want        

A: A beautiful wife

neighborhood watch.

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Q: Name something most women wouldn’t be caught leaving the house without  

A: A Tampon

tampons-cartoon.

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Q: Name a body part that gets bigger as people get older         

A: Penis

BeavisButtheadWashington.

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Q: Name a foreign country people vacation in where it would be easy to pack on 10 pounds.      

A: Paris

french fries.

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Q: Which one of the seven dwarfs you most often feel like        

A: Weepy

A: Drowsy

A: Grouchy

The Seven Dwarfs.

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Q: Name a question you hate when people ask it to you 

A: “Are those real?”

Are Those Real?.

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Q: The hardest position to play on a baseball team        

A: Quarterback

baseball-face-cartoon-ball.

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Q: Name a city in the state of Georgia   

A: Alabama

georgia_alabama.

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Q: An excuse you use when stopped for speeding        

A: “I was drinking”

speeding.

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Q: Name something newlyweds share    

A: Underwear    

his n hers underwear.

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Q: Name something you would buy in a stationery store 

A: Water

stationery store1111

Q: Name a question that a gentleman would never ask a lady on a first date       

A: “What color underwear do you wear?”

first date.

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Q: Name a fruit beginning with the letter A         

A: Orange

cartoon-orange.

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More Of Those Awkward Moments – Life’s Great Levelers, part three.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Another selection of those awkward moments we all experience as we journey through life. Some make you laugh, some make you angry, but all of them make you feel a little bit stupider that you really thought you were.

Enjoy.

 

 

That awkward moment when you realize you left the rest room with your dress tucked into your undies.

(Definitely haven’t managed that one yet, but I know someone who has.)

 

 

That awkward moment when you accidentally fart doing sit-ups at the Gym.

(Hey, another gold medal possibility if they make it an Olympic sport. For ‘accidentally’ read ‘inevitably’.)


 

 

That awkward moment when you see someone coming your way after you’ve just farted.

(Why do you think people take dogs with them for walks?)

 

 

That awkward moment when your girlfriend asks you if you love her more than your car.

(There’s only one answer to this one.)

 

 

That awkward moment when you bend down and your pants rip and you’re wearing floral underwear.

(Hello sailor!!!)

 

 

That awkward moment when you get caught in the rain in a cheesecloth dress, and really big underwear.

(I told you I don’t wear dresses, but seen it happen, very funny. Really big underwear, also known to us men folk as, ‘kidney warmers’. Sorry ladies.)

 

 

That awkward moment when someone walks in while you’re changing.

(Can be just as awkward when you walk in on someone else – or not – depending.)

 

 

That awkward moment when you confidently say the wrong answer aloud in class.

(And then try to turn the whole thing into a bad joke.)

 

 

That awkward moment when someone is doing the dishes and you slowly put another dish in the sink.

(Just do it with a smile and you’ll be okay. But only do it once.)

 

 

That awkward moment when you are trying to impress someone on the dance-floor but you dance into a pole.

(Prefer to watch other people dance where there are poles.)

 

 

That awkward moment when you think the trash can is a stool.

(So why hasn’t anyone invented a trash can that doubles as a stool – or is that a crap idea?)

 

 

The awkward moment when your friends make plans right in front of you, and the plans don’t include you.

(I can take a hint.)

 

 

That awkward moment when you’re so tired from taking a nap that you feel like to have to take another nap to get over your nap.

(Oh yes, the nap recovery nap nap!)

 

 

That awkward moment when you lose your bikini top in the surf.

(Not a problem for me, but I see the point…er..points??)

 

 

That awkward moment when you are on the beach and someone has told you that your tampon string is hanging out of your bikini.

(What does one do, and where does one do it?)

 

 

That awkward moment when you don’t know where to stand to pull your wedgie out without being noticed.

(Impossible to do without being seen. Impossible to do and still look elegant.)

 

 

That awkward moment when your neighbor starts talking to you while you’re hanging out your underwear.

(Hi there, washing the smalls today?)

 

 

That awkward moment when one heel flies off your high heels on the dance floor.

(It still baffles me why women wear high heels and how they can walk in them – or not, see videos.)

 

High heels fall 1

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High heels fall 2


 

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