Heed the warning in the title, another selection of warning signs written for the chronically stupid follows.
That these have to be written is a tragedy in itself. That most of them seem to be written by they very people they are aimed at is one of those mysteries that may take years to solve.
In the meantime, enjoy.
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“Malfunction: Too less water.”
A notice left on a coffee machine.
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“Prescriptions cannot be filled by phone.”
On a form in a clinic.
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“You could be a winner!
No purchase necessary.
Details inside.”
On a bag of Fritos.
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“Fits one head.”
On a hotel-provided shower cap box.
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“Payment is due by the due date.”
On a credit card statement.
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“No small children.”
On a laundromat triple washer.
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“Warning: Ramp Ends In Stairs.”
A sign, correctly describing the end of a
concrete ramp intended for handicap access to a bridge.
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“Take care: new non-slip surface.”
On a sign in front of a newly renovated ramp
that led to the entrance of a building.
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“In case of flood, proceed uphill.
In case of flash flood, proceed uphill quickly.”
One of the emergency safety procedures at a summer camp.
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“Ingredients: Artificially bleached flour, sugar,
vegetable fat, yeast, salt, gluten, soya flour,
emulsifier 472 (E) & 481, flour treatment agents,
enzymes, water.
May contain ……….fruit.”
The ingredients list on a package of fruit buns.
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“100% pure yarn.”
On a sweater.
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“Some materials may irritate sensitive skin.
Please look at the materials if you believe this may be the case.
Catering for the lowest common denominator in intelligence can be very frustrating for the rest of us.
But apparently stupidity has reached levels today where stupid people will hurt themselves with things that shouldn’t hurt them, if they had the wit to understand what they were and how use them properly.
Personally I think there is some merit in letting them get on with it and perhaps thereby gradually eliminating chronic stupidity from the gene pool.
In the meantime all we can do is cringe and laugh.
It occurred to me during this short series of warning signs that the whole idea may have a fatal flaw.
Why all the fuss about printing warning signs on things for really stupid people, because the chances are that the people who need signs like these are far too stupid to know how to read them anyway?
But they have been written, and not by geniuses either, so we might as well have a look, and, of course….
Enjoy.
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“Please store in the cold
section of the refrigerator.”
On a bag of fresh grapes in Australia.
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“Warning: knives are sharp!”
On the packaging of a sharpening stone.
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“Not for weight control.”
On a pack of Breath Savers.
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“Twist top off with hands.
Throw top away.
Do not put top in mouth.”
On the label of a bottled drink.
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“Theft of this container is a crime.”
On a milk crate.
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“Do not use intimately.”
On a tube of deodorant.
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“Warning: has been found to cause
cancer in laboratory mice.”
On a box of rat poison.
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“Fragile. Do not drop.”
Posted on a Boeing 757.
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“Cannot be made non-poisonous.”
On the back of a can of de-icing windshield fluid.
Strange as it may seem Warning Signs are warning signs that society is in BIG trouble. They indicate that we have regressed to the level where we are allowing the stupidest people in society to dictate how the rest of us behave.
I disagree in the strongest possible terms with this trend. It is unnecessary and it is irritating for anyone with an IQ above 40.
If some dumb ass who knows they are allergic to nuts, buys a bag of nuts, then let them suffer the consequences of their stupidity if they eat them. Or if someone is in McDonalds or a similar establishment and buys a cup of hot coffee they should have the wit to realize that hot coffees is ‘hot’ and will burn them if they pour it all over themselves.
Harsh? Perhaps, but necessary.
Sadly the whole thing has deteriorated so far that, not only are there unnecessary warning labels on almost everything, but the morons for whom they are there now actually seem to be writing them too!
I could rant on, but better (and funnier) to show you some examples that make me shake my head in despair.
http://jitterygt.wordpress.com made a comment on one of my posts, “Confirmed Stupidity” that “The creativity of stupidity is also endless”. And so it seems to be.
Stupid people are always finding new ways to do stupid things. I don’t think I would go so far as to call it creative, though. Most of it happens by pure accident rather than design.
Now I have to point out at the start, that this blog post is not about things that are done to assist those in society who have some kind of disability. Everything that is done in that regard to make life a bit easier and things more accessible is to be encouraged and applauded. This blog applies specifically to those who could get out of their own way but because they are too lazy and/or obtuse, won’t!
So the question today is, and it’s a good question that hardly anyone bothers to ask or tries to answer, “Should we have to waste time, energy and resources pandering to the idiots in society?”
In other words should EVERYTHING have to sink down to their level? Should the rest of us normal-ish people be deprived of a better and simpler existence just because some people seem to be incapable of living their lives without doing themselves harm?
I vote NO, we shouldn’t pander to them. Not in the slightest.
In the dumbed down society that we are increasingly being forced to live in, and that the even dumber politicians encourage (probably so that the majority of people don’t develop the skills to see the hash they are making of everything), far from questioning the consequent waste of time, energy, and resources, they continue to make more and more rules to cater for the intellectually challenged.
Think about the consequences for a moment.
How many labels do we have on jars and cans and elsewhere that really don’t need to be there? Do we really need a label on a packet of nuts telling us that the packet contains nuts? Do we really need a label telling us that hot coffee is ‘hot’ or that iced mocha is ‘cold’?
How many otherwise productive man-hours are wasted each and every year trying to figure out what dumb thing some moron will do with a particular product?
Example of a sign for morons
I know the whole waste of time phenomenon has been spurred on in many cases because of spurious and unnecessary law suits by lawyers who aren’t smart enough to set up a proper law practice and by judges who are so out of touch with reality that they should be thrown out of court for not doing the same with these foolish lawsuits.
Example of a sign for morons
Then we have the bureaucrats weighing in. With nothing productive to do themselves, except to make our lives more and more intolerable, they dream up new rules and regulations to make business more uncompetitive and ordinary peoples’ lives more complicated.
Example of a sign for people stupider then morons
And it’s all a waste of time. No matter what rules are invented and what precautions are taken it is a law of the universe that morons will find a way round them and hurt themselves anyway. Some of them have even walked into the signs put up to warn them about walking into signs.
So we should NOT waste time trying to make things foolproof because the fools have proved time and again that it’s a waste of time!
Let’s aspire to learn more and be smarter, instead of dumbing down to the level of those who don’t give a damn anyhow!
End rant. Have a cup of coffee – mind, though, it’s hot!
Here are a few more examples:
Suitable for outdoor use. Found on a rain gauge.
Warning: High in sodium. On a salt cellar.
Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat.
Use like regular soap. On a bar of soap.
Simply pour the biscuits into a bowl and allow the cat to eat when it wants. On a bag of cat biscuits.
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts on a packet of nuts
Do not use as an ice cream topping on Hair colouring
Warning: do not attempt to swallow on a Mattress
Caution: contents may catch fire on Matches
Some assembly required on a 500-piece puzzle
The appliance is switched on by setting the on/off switch to the ‘on’ position on a Kettle
Product will be hot after heating on Bread Pudding
fasab 