Did You Know – The August Fact File Is Open.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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In truth nothing much to do with August, except that’s the months we are now in and you have to call these posts something.

But don’t let that deter you from finding out a few more interesting facts.

Here they are.

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fact 01

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You have over 100,000 km of blood vessels in your brain.

That’s enough to wrap around the world 4 times.

The arteries of the brain

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Poinsettias are not lethal.

If your pet is silly enough to eat one,

it may upset its stomach but it won’t kill anything.

christmas-poinsettia-flowers

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Allan Pinkerton,

famous for creating the Pinkerton detective agency

died of an infection after biting his tongue

when he slipped on a sidewalk.

Allan Pinkerton

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Your ears secrete more earwax when

you are afraid than when you aren’t.

afraid more earwax

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Chewing gum doesn’t take 7 years to digest.

It actually can’t be digested at all

and will pass right through you as is.

guy_chewing_gum

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It takes a photon, on average, 170,000 years

to travel from the core of the sun to the surface.

Then it takes just 8 minutes

from the sun’s surface to your eyes.

a photon

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The radiation leak from the Chenobyl nuclear reactor accident

caused the nearby forest to turn a bright ginger color,

thus the forest was named the “Red Forest”.

 

red forest

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The Tinkerbelle that flies across the sky during the

Disney fireworks show is sometimes a man.

Tinkerbell fireworks display Disney

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According to researchers,

who have not been there and don’t know what they are talking about,

the center of our galaxy tastes like raspberries and smells like rum.

raspberry and rum galaxy

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According to astronauts,

who have been there and do know what they are talking about,

space smells like seared steak, hot metal, and welding fumes.

astronaut space-smell

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On Sept. 2, 1944, George H W Bush was flying over Japan

when his aircraft was shot down in the Pacific.

Bush and another crewman were able to bail out,

but the other man’s parachute malfunctioned,

and he went down with the plane.

Bush was eventually rescued by a

submarine off the coast of Chichi-jima.

George H W Bush WWII

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There are roughly 7,000 languages

estimated to still be spoken on Earth.

About 2,400 of them are in danger of going extinct.

In fact, one goes extinct every 14 days.

7,000 languages

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War comes from a Germanic root

that meant “to confuse”

war

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For a long time people speculated over the identity

of the secret informant behind the Watergate Scandal,

codenamed “Deep Throat”.

Recently he was revealed to be

former FBI associate director Mark Felt.

FBI associate director Mark Felt

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Michael Holmes, the youngest man

to have ever received a skydiving instructor certification,

saw his young career almost come to an end

when on December 2006 a skydive jump went horribly wrong.

Due to faulty ropes, Holmes’ main and reserve parachutes

failed to deploy sending him spiraling out of control

towards certain death.

However, thanks to a blackberry bush,

Holmes was able to survive the fall

with only a punctured lung and a shattered ankle.

This horrifying experience was all captured on camera.

Here it is….

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The Final Fabulous Fasab Fact Day – For April, That Is!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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April is drawing to a close, but not before another selection of fabulous fasab facts.

Here’s the latest random bunch to improve your knowledge.

Hope you enjoy.

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did you know1

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There are more possible iterations of a game of chess

than there are atoms in the known universe.

chessboard

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Tim Duncan of the San Antonio Spurs sacrificed money

and stayed in college four extra years

instead of going directly to the NBA

because in her last days his dying mother made

him promise to graduate college with a degree.

(Good on you Tim!)

Four-time-NBA-Champion-Tim-Duncan

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England’s King George I

was actually German.

King George I

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A study conducted by Swiss University

showed that stockbrokers

are more reckless and manipulative

than diagnosed psychopaths.

stockbrokers

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In his youth, Andrew Johnson apprenticed as a tailor.

Even as president, he never stopped making his own suits.

Andrew Johnson

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There is a point in the middle of Chile’s Atacama Desert

where rain has never been recorded.

Scientists call this region “absolute desert”.

Atacama-Desert-Chile

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Lord Byron kept a pet bear

in his college dorm room.

Lord Byron

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If you eat a polar bear liver, you will die.

Humans can’t handle that much vitamin A.

polar bear

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Dead people can get goosebumps.

goosebumps

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Kim Jong Il wrote six operas.

Kim Jong Il

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Our eyes are always the same size from birth,

but our nose and ears never stop growing.

BigearsObama

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The top layer of a wedding cake,

known as the groom’s cake,

traditionally is a fruit cake.

That way it will save until the first anniversary.

top layer of a wedding cake

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Princeton researchers successfully turned a live cat

into a functioning telephone in 1929.

cat telephone

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The ship, the Queen Elizabeth 2,

should always be written as QE2.

QEII is the actual Queen.

RMS_Queen_Elizabeth_2_in_Trondheim_2008

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If you do not have a child,

you will be the first in your direct lineage,

all the way back to beginnings of human history,

to do so (or not, as the case may be!)

having a child

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Time To Take The Brain Out For Some Exercise!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes, brain exercise it is. Quiz day again folks.

Another random mixture of subjects and questions, some easy, some difficult and some you know you should know.

As usual the answers are given waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please NO cheating!

Enjoy and good luck.

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quiz 10

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Q.  1:  What name links the standard infantry rifle of the US Army from 1873 to 1936 and the popular animated television series ‘The Simpsons’?

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Q.  2:  ‘Backrub’ was the original name for what well known company?

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Q.  3:  ‘Robert’, ‘Aurore’, ‘Apple’, ‘White’, ‘Mornay’, ‘Ivory’ and ‘Reform’ are all examples of what?

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Q.  4:  What nationality was Winston Churchill’s mother?

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Q.  5:  What does the Russian word ‘Sputnik’ mean?

           a. Satellite    b. Little traveler    c. Star light

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Q.  6:  Brian Warner is the real name of which American singer?

           a) Kid Rock        b) Axl Rose         c) Marilyn Manson

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Q.  7:  The Simplon Rail Tunnel links Switzerland with which country?

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Q.  8:  In which animated Disney movies would one find the following characters? (One point for each correct answer)

           a) Pumba,     b) Si & Am,     c) Pongo,     d) Edna E. Mode

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Q.  9:  Which French philosopher is associated with the quote, “Cogito ergo sum” (I think, therefore I am)?

            a) Jean Paul Sarte         b) Rene Descartes         c) Blaise Pascal

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Q. 10:  ‘Blepharoplasty’  is cosmetic surgery on what part of the body?

            a) ears         b) upper arms         c) eyelids

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Q. 11:  It’s the stage name of WWF wrestler-turned-actor Dwayne Johnson and the name of a movie starring Nicholas Cage and Sean Connery, what is it?

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Q. 12:  Which baseball star married Marilyn Monroe in 1954?

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Q. 13:  The herb ‘coriander’ belongs to which family of vegetable?

            a) carrot         b) beetroot         c) cabbage

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Q. 14:  Excluding television, radio and ‘unofficial’ versions, six actors have played the role of James Bond, name them. (A point for each and a bonus point if you get them in the correct chronological order.)

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Q. 15:  The Earth’s position in the solar system gave the inspiration for what television series?

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Q. 16:  What kind of Christmas present is ‘oil of Lebanon’?

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Q. 17:  Who did Omar Sharif play in a famous movie set in the USSR?

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Q. 18:  Everybody knows that the name of the Lone Ranger’s horse was ‘Silver’, but what was the name of his sidekick Tonto’s horse?

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Q. 19:  The name of which European country ‘apparently’ stems from a Carthaginian word meaning ‘Land of the rabbits’?

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Q. 20:  In which movie series are dilithium crystals used for fuel?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  What name links the standard infantry rifle of the US Army from 1873 to 1936 and the animated television series ‘The Simpsons’?

A.  1:  Springfield.

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Q.  2:  ‘Backrub’ was the original name for what well known company?

A.  2:  Google.

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Q.  3:  ‘Robert’, ‘Aurore’, ‘Apple’, ‘White’, ‘Mornay’, ‘Ivory’ and ‘Reform’ are all examples of what?

A.  3:  Sauces.

.

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Q.  4:  What nationality was Winston Churchill’s mother?

A.  4:  American, Winston Churchill’s mother was born in Brooklyn.

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Q.  5:  What does the Russian word ‘Sputnik’ mean?

            a. Satellite    b. Little traveler    c. Star light

A.  5:  a. Satellite.

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Q.  6:  Brian Warner is the real name of which American singer?

           a) Kid Rock        b) Axl Rose         c) Marilyn Manson

A.  6:  c) Marilyn Manson.

.

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Q.  7:  The Simplon Rail Tunnel links Switzerland with which country?

A.  7:  Italy.

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Q.  8:  In which animated Disney movies would one find the following characters? (One point for each correct answer)

           a) Pumba,     b) Si & Am,     c) Pongo,     d) Edna E. Mode

A.  8:  a) Pumba in The Lion King;   b) Si & Am in The Lady & the Tramp,

    c) Pongo in 101 Dalmations; and,   d) Edna E. Mode in The Incredibles

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Q.  9:  Which French philosopher is associated with the quote, “Cogito ergo sum” (I think, therefore I am)?

            a) Jean Paul Sarte         b) Rene Descartes         c) Blaise Pascal

A.  9:  b) Rene Descartes.

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Q. 10:  ‘Blepharoplasty’  is cosmetic surgery on what part of the body?

            a) ears         b) upper arms         c) eyelids

A. 10:  c) eyelids.

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Q. 11:  It’s the stage name of WWF wrestler-turned-actor Dwayne Johnson and the name of a movie starring Nicholas Cage and Sean Connery, what is it?

A. 11:  The Rock.

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Q. 12:  Which baseball star married Marilyn Monroe in 1954?

A. 12:  Joe DiMaggio.

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Q. 13:  The herb ‘coriander’ belongs to which family of vegetable?

            a) carrot         b) beetroot         c) cabbage

A. 13:  a) carrot.

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Q. 14:  Excluding television, radio and ‘unofficial’ versions, six actors have played the role of James Bond, name them. (A point for each and a bonus point if you get them in the correct chronological order.)

A. 14:  Sean Connery,  George Lazenby,  Roger Moore,  Timothy Dalton,  Pierce Brosnan  and  Daniel Craig.

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Q. 15:  The Earth’s position in the solar system gave the inspiration for what television series?

A. 15:  The very successful sitcom ‘3rd Rock from the Sun’.

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Q. 16:  What kind of Christmas present is ‘oil of Lebanon’?

A. 16:  Frankincense.

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Q. 17:  Who did Omar Sharif play in a famous movie set in the USSR?

A. 17:  Zhivago.

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Q. 18:  Everybody knows that the name of the Lone Ranger’s horse was ‘Silver’, but what was the name of his sidekick Tonto’s horse?

A. 18:  The answer I’m looking for here is ‘Scout’, although if you answered ‘White Feller’, the name of his first horse you also get a point – 2 points if you knew both!

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Q. 19:  The name of which European country ‘apparently’ stems from a Carthaginian word meaning ‘Land of the rabbits’?

A. 19:  Spain. (Ispania from ‘Sphan’ meaning rabbit).

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Q. 20:  In which movie series are dilithium crystals used for fuel?

A. 20:  The ‘Star Trek’ movie series.

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Did They Really Mean To Say That? – Newspaper Headline Nightmares, Part Sixteen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Believe it or not, part sixteen of the newspapers headline nightmares series.

Just goes to prove that these are not isolated incidents and that stupidity doesn’t go away.

As always, enjoy.

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np_threats

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np_tiger

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np_tiger69

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np_toiletpaper

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np_twotheories

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np_under15s

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np_underwear

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np_urineears

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np_votersjampolls

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np_wang

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np_weightgain

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np_weiner

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It’s An Ill Wind….

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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The original title of this post was “Farting On Airplanes” because it is really about farting on airplanes, but I thought it might be better just to call it “It’s An Ill Wind”.

No, come on, now you know don’t turn your noses up, or pretend this is something that (a) you’ve never thought about, or (b) never done. Farting on airplanes is an international phenomenon that transcends all nationalities, religions, ages, creeds, classes and colors.

It is in fact the common bond of all the world’s travelers.

Whether it can ever bring us closer together, however, is another thing (Phew!)

longer larger fart plane

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This is a quite embarrassing story. Not something one would normally admit to, but people write unusual things on blogs.

It concerns one of the first long haul flights that I was ever on.

Nowadays, as a seasoned flyer, I always have a good meal before the flight. I don’t suffer from air sickness of any kind and I don’t care for the stuff they call airline food. Back then, however, I was a novice and ended up on board without any breakfast other than a cup of coffee. My stomach was empty – of food anyhow.

All was well for about twenty or thirty minutes and then it started.

The obvious solution would have been to get up and go to the toilet. But easy options aren’t the way I have gone through life so far.

Also it was a big plane, a 747, and the toilets were quite a bit away from my seat. I would face a long walk down the narrow aisle.

Not that the walk itself was the problem. It was just that whoever designs airline seats has arranged things so that the nose and ears of the person sitting down is just about at the same height as the bottom of the person walking casually past.

You see the predicament?

In any case, I found myself in a window seat with two other seats to negotiate before I got to the aisle. Such was the pressure building up that I feared the exertion of hopping over the additional seats would make the whole purpose of the journey somewhat redundant.

There was nothing for it but to stay where I was, with the unfortunate choice being either bursting or releasing some of the pressure. Not unnaturally I chose to do the latter option.

As these things go it was a substantial outcome. But the drone of the plane engines (they were a lot louder in those days, I think, I hope, weren’t they?) seemed to drown out any other background noises.

I didn’t hear a thing.

I double checked by having a quick look at the person unfortunate enough to be sitting beside me, but there was no sign in the expression on his face that anything untoward had happened. Either that or he was a professional poker player with a practiced deadpan expression – or in a state of semi consciousness as a result of the concussive force emanating from the seat beside him.

My confidence grew. I thought of the famous campfire scene from Blazing Saddles and let a few more go in tribute.

Farting Mid Flight

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I was so happy at the relief and at the fact that all was undetected that I allowed myself a triumphant smile, and then even a laugh. The movie I was watching was a comedy so my laughter didn’t look out of place either.

It was all good.

Hang on a minute.

All was not as good as it seemed.

Cut the laughter and cue serious worried face.

I suddenly realized that all this time I had been wearing the headphones the flight attendant had given us for the movies they were showing. No wonder I had heard nothing!

Oh dear me! What had I done?

Well, I knew what I had done, of course. The big question now was, did anyone else know? Had they heard me doing it?

I looked again at the man in the seat beside me. Again no perceivable reaction on his face that indicated that anything out of the ordinary had happened, although now I was aware of them I saw that he too was wearing the headphones.   

I was relieved a bit, but still very curious. And when I get curious about something I have to try to find an answer.

So there was nothing for it but let rip again, this time with my headphones off.

And that’s what I did.

Thankfully, in the interests of the scientific experiment now under way, the quality of the offending item had not diminished in force. A guy knows about these things even without any audio feedback.

To my great relief, in every meaning of the word, I still didn’t hear a thing. The drone of the airplane engines had indeed drowned out any other sounds.

It was a magnificently liberating experience and from that day on I have never looked back, as it were.

Further experimentation revealed that the same undetectable result could be achieved even on much smaller airplanes. Commercial jets I’m talking about, of course, this is not a sport to indulge in on a single engined Cesna or something like that.

I also found out that it is possible I have been saving the airlines lucky enough to win my custom a small fortune. As you know the air in airplanes these days is all re-circulated and, as the methane content of a fart is lighter than air, the captured gas therefore contributes to keeping the airplane airborne with a consequent saving on fuel. That’s my story anyhow.

farting in airplanes

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And the good news just keeps on coming.

Independent research confirms that a person’s sense of smell is greatly suppressed in the reduced cabin air pressure, which incidentally is also why airplane food tastes so bad. 

So now if you are on an airplane and sitting beside someone who is chuckling to himself – or herself, yes ladies your secret is out – you’ll know the real reason why!

One day it might even be me!!!

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From Fasab’s Freaky Fact Folio

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Today a few more freaky facts for those interested in having a few unusual things to say when the opportunity arises.

Enjoy.

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There are 200,000,000 insects for every one human.

bug off

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If you ate too many carrots, you would turn orange.

Carrots

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Bamboo can grow up to 3 ft in 24 hours.

bamboo

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At the age of 26, Michelangelo began sculpting his monumental statue of David.

He finished it seventeen months later, in January, 1504.

 Michaelangelo David

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There is a doggy disco held in Italy every year where owners can dance with their dogs.

disco dog

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Each person’s ears are unique.

obama_cartoon_ears

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More people are afraid of spiders than death.

Amazingly, few people are afraid of Champagne corks

even though you are more likely to be killed by one than by a spider.

champagne cork accident

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The male seahorse carries the eggs until they hatch instead of the female.

seahorse

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In 1958 Entomologist W.G. Bruce published a list of Arthropod references in the Bible.

The most frequently named bugs from the Bible are:

Locust: 24, Moth: 11, Grasshopper: 10, Scorpion: 10, Caterpillar: 9, and Bee: 4.

Red Cartoon Bible

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Male bats have the highest rate of homosexuality of any mammal.

Well they can’t see until it’s too late 🙂 

fruitbat-joke

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A B-25 bomber crashed into the 79th floor of the Empire State Building on July 28, 1945.

b-25 Empire State

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Albert Einstein and Charles Darwin both married their first cousins

family tree

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The Olympic was the sister ship of the Titanic,

and she provided twenty-five years of service.

Olympic_in_New_York

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When the Titanic sank, 2228 people were on it.

Only 706 survived.

RMS Titanic

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Every year 4 people in the UK die putting their trousers on.

trousers .

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 1

Fasab’s Fascinating Fun Facts Folks!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Another alliteration and another bunch of fascinating fun facts.

Throw a few of these out when you get the opportunity and dazzle you friends with your new knowledge.

Well, you’ll probably get one of those odd quizzical looks at least.

Enjoy.

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A 75 year old person will have slept about 23 years.

rip van winkle

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The word “set” has the most number of definitions in the English language; 192

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Hong Kong has more Rolls Royce cars per capita than any other city.

of Rolls Royces owned by The Peninsula Hotel Hong Kong

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The longest name in the Bible is Mahershalalbaz.

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In a survey of 200,000 ostriches over 80 years, not one tried to bury its head in the sand.

ostrich-head-in-sand

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Elephants have the longest pregnancy in the animal kingdom at 22 months.

The longest human pregnancy on record is 17 months, 11 days.

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Possums have one of the shortest pregnancies at 16 days.

The shortest human pregnancy to produce a healthy baby was 22 weeks, 6 days

— the baby was the length of a ballpoint pen.

opossum clipart

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In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all of the world’s nuclear weapons combined.

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Samuel Clemens (Mark Twain) was born on and died on days when Halley’s Comet can be seen.

Mark Twain

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Benjamin Franklin was the fifth in a series of the youngest son of the youngest son.

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The name Wendy was made up for the book Peter Pan.

There was never a recorded Wendy before it.

wendy

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One in ten people live on an island.

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Humphrey Bogart NEVER said “Play it again, Sam” in Casablanca

casablanca still play it Sam

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Our eyes are always the same size from birth but our nose and ears never stop growing.

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Jim Henson first coined the word “Muppet”.

It is a combination of “marionette” and “puppet.”

Kermit the muppets

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Arabic numerals are not really Arabic; they were created in India.

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The word “maverick” came into use after Samuel Maverick, a Texan who refused to brand his cattle.

Maverick

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Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.

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A “quidnunc” is a person who is eager to know the latest news and gossip.

quidnunc

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Chrysler built B29’s that bombed Japan.

Mitsubishi built the Zeros that tried to shoot them down.

Both companies now build cars in a joint plant called Diamond Star.

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In the last 4000 years no new animals have been domesticated.

german shepherd

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Richard Millhouse Nixon was the first US president whose name contains all the letters from the word “criminal.”

The second? William Jefferson Clinton

It can’t be a coincidence, it really can’t!!!

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The country code for Russia is “007”.


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Dumb People – Dumb Questions, I Guess It’s As Simple As That!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Another selection of stupid questions asked by stupid people about stupid things that of little or no interest to anyone but themselves.

Enjoy.

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How do I get rid of roly-poly bugs in a house?

 roly poly bug

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How do I properly react to a job offer?

job offer

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What is the difference between black pudding and white pudding?

black pudding and white pudding

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What is the difference between afternoon tea and high tea?

tea high tea

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Why do we say ” mother tongue” and not “father tongue” when everything else is linked to the father?

mother tongue

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Is it true that simulated violence make people more aggressive?

simulated violence

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Where can I buy the DERMA Underarm Whitening Kit?

paint-and-brush

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How cold is too cold for a cat?

garfield___cold_cat

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Do you ever get phantom vibrations in your pockets?

pockets

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What is the strongest way to build a spaghetti tower with gum drops?

Gumdrop2

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Why are my cucumbers dying? How do I grow amazing cucumbers?

cucumber

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At a blind person’s moment of great danger or death does his life flash between his ears?

cartoon-ears

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CLASSIFIED: For Your Eyes Only, Part Six!!!!!!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Hello and welcome to part six of the series on Classified Ads that didn’t quite go according to plan. I don’t know whether any of these were successful in that they sold whatever it was they were trying to sell, but they certainly made it on  to the fasab funny pile!

Enjoy.

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classified ad 94

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classified ad 72

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classified ad 74

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classified ad 73

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classified ad 113

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classified ad 114

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classified ad 112

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classified ad 71

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classified ad 70

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classified ad 76

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classified ad 75

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classified ad 89

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classified ad 101

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classified ad 105

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What An Eventful Week… Okay, Maybe Not. But Never Mind, Here’s Another Anagram Sunday!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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What an eventful week… well that’s what I had planned to say if Romney had won the election. As it turns out, he didn’t, Obama’s back in and things are much the same as they were.

Oh, except for one minor detail, Obama won’t ever have to fight another Presidential election so he can get on with whatever he wants to do and not be too bothered who it upsets. So cut costs at the bottom and increase taxes at the top and squeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzzzzzzeeeeeeeeeeee!

Meantime here are some more of those word puzzles called anagrams.

Enjoy.  

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‘Many a true word is spoken in jest’

Men joke, and so win trusty praise

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‘meal for one’

for me alone

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‘my ideal time’ 

immediately

 .

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‘New York Times’

monkeys write

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 .

‘Patrick Stewart’

a crap trek twist

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‘Punishment’

nine thumps

 .

 .

‘Rome was not built in a day’

any labour I do wants time

 .

 .

‘school student’

tends to slouch

 .

 .

‘shower time’

where moist

 .

 .

‘Statue of Liberty’

built to stay free

 .

 .

‘television ads’

enslave idiots

 .

 .

‘The centenarians’

I can hear ten “tens”

 .

 .

‘The ears’

hear set

 .

 .

‘The end of the World is nigh!’

Frightened? Down this hole!

 .

 .

‘Thomas Jefferson’

O, short name’s Jeff

 .

 .

‘timetable’

bet I’m late

 .

 .

And finally a contribution from Adam T.

.

 

‘Barack Hussein Obama’

a man broke his abacus

.

‘Willard Mitt Romney’

Wait! Drill it on my term.

.

===================