Significant Number Factoid Friday – Today Number Twenty-Seven 27

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Today is another numbers day and the randomly chosen number is twenty-seven. Were you  born on the 27th, is it your lucky number, has it some other significance for you or do you just like facts and trivia. Whatever your interest you will probably find something in here that you didn’t know about the number twenty-seven.

Enjoy.

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Number Twenty-Seven 27

27

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In religion

  • There are six occurrences of 27th in the Bible: Genesis 8.14; I Kings 16.10, 16.15; 2 Kings 15.1, 25.27; Ezekiel 29.17
  • God creates man “male & female” in the 27th verse in Genesis I;
  • After the Flood, the earth was dried on the 27th day of the 2nd month (Genesis 8.14);
  • In the 27th year the Lord gave Egypt to King Nebuchadrezzar of Babylon;
  • Book 27 of Proverbs has 27 verses;
  • The New Testament is made up of 27 books;
  • The Book of Revelation is the 27th Book and last book of the New Testament;
  • John Calvin published Institutes of the Christian Religion when he was 27 years old (1536);
  • Twenty-seven is the highest level of knowledge in rupaloke (Buddhism);
  • In ancient Incan culture there were 27 roads to El Dorado.

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In mathematics

  • An Octillion is 1027 which is a 1 followed by 27 zeros
  • Twenty-seven is a perfect cube, being 3 to the power of 3 or 3 × 3 × 3.
  • Twenty-seven is the only positive integer that is 3 times the sum of its digits.

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In science

  • The atomic number of Cobalt (Co) is 27
  • The atomic weight of Aluminum (Al) is 27

In space

  • Solar rotation: The Sun rotates on its axis once in about 27 days;
  • The 27th moon of Jupiter is Sinope.
  • The planet Uranus has 27 moons
  • Messier 27, the Dumbbell Nebula (also known as Apple Core Nebula, M 27, or NGC 6853) is a planetary nebula in the constellation Vulpecula, at a distance of about 1,360 light years;

Messier 27, the Dumbbell Nebula  .

  • On April 12, 1961, Soviet cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin became the first human in space, he was 27 years old;

Yuri Gagarin

  • This is the official insignia of the NASA STS-27 mission. The patch depicts the space shuttle lifting off against the multi-colored backdrop of a rainbow, symbolizing the triumphal return to flight of our nation’s manned space program. The design also commemorates the memory of the crew of Challenger mission STS-51-L, represented by the seven stars. The names of the flight crew members of STS-27 are located along the border of the patch. They are astronauts Robert L. Gibson, commander; Guy S. Gardner, pilot; Jerry L. Ross, Richard M. (Mike) Mullane and William M. Shepherd, mission specialists. Each crew member contributed to the design of the insignia.

STS 27 Mission Insignia space shuttle .

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In books, music, TV and movies

  • Rudolph Valentino was 27 when he stared in film Blood and Sand;
  • Sergei Eisenstein directs The Battleship Potemkin in 1925, aged 27;
  • 27 year old Greta Garbo uttered the famous words, “I want to be alone” in film Grand Hotel in 1932;
  • Errol Flynn (1909-1959) stars in film Charge of the Light Brigade (1936);

charge of the light brigade errol flynn 1936

  • Ingmar Bergman (born 7-14-1918) directs his first film Crisis (1945);
  • Deanna Durbin, teenage star retires in 1949, aged 27, after her 22 film career;
  • In the 1977 Carl Reiner movie Oh, God!, Jerry Landers (John Denver), a supermarket manager meets God (George Burns) on the 27th floor in Room 2700;
  • Captain Jean-Luc Picard has made contact with twenty-seven species of aliens in the series Star Trek: The Next Generation;
  • The following famous authors published these works when they were 27 years old: Jacob Grimm, Grimm’s Fairy Tales (1812-1815); George Sand, her first book, Indiana in 1831; Nikolai Gogol, The Inspector General in 1836 and Upton Sinclair, The Jungle in 1906;
  • Famous Scottish poet Robert Burns publishes The Kilmarnock Poems in 1786, aged 27;
  • Rupert Brooke was 27 when he wrote the poem “If I should die, think only this of me…” in 1914; he died the following year (1915) in World War I;
RupertBrooke
RupertBrooke
  • Hugh Hefner (born 1926) publishes Playboy magazine (1953);
  • In 1956, Grace Kelly was 27 years old when she retired from movies to marry Prince Rainier of Monaco;
  • Aged 27 Julie Andrews starred in her first film Mary Poppins in 1963 and won an Oscar for the Best Actress (1964);

Mary Poppins

  • January 27 is the birthday of Mozart 1756, Lewis Carroll 1832, and Jerome Kern 1885;
  • When he is 27 years old Claude Debussy composes Claire de Lune in 1890;
  • The 27 Club is the collective term used when talking about musicians and singers who all died at the age of 27: Robert Johnston, blues singer and musician; Brian Jones, founder member of the Rolling Stones; Janis Joplin, rock singer, from drugs overdose in 1970; Jimmy Hendrix, rock guitarist, died from drugs overdose in 1970; Jim Morrison, rock singer, from a heart attack in 1971; Kurt Corbain, rock singer, from drugs overdose in 1994; and Amy Winehouse, singer, from drink and drug overdose in 2011.

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In politics

  • Florida became the 27th State to enter the Union (March 3, 1845)

Florida State Flag

  • There are twenty-seven words in the Second Amendment to the U.S. Constitution;
  • The 27th President of the United States was William Howard Taft (1857-1930), who served (1909-1913). He later served as Chief Justice of the U.S. Supreme Court (1921-1930).
William H Taft
President William H Taft
  • Taft was the heaviest president ever at 332 pounds, and famously got stuck in the White House bathtub. Subsequently he had an oversized version brought in for his use.
  • William Howard Taft was the first president to own a car at the White House (he had the White House stables converted into a 4-car garage), the first to throw out the first ball to begin the professional baseball season, and the first president to be buried in the National Cemetery in Arlington, Virginia.
  • Arizona became a state on February 14, 1912, also making Taft the first President of the 48 contiguous states.
  • Taft liked milk so much that he brought his own cow to the White House. The cows name was Mooly Wolly. Mooly was replaced by another cow called Paulin. Paulin was the last cow to graze on the White House lawn.
  • During his administration, the U.S. parcel post system began, but sadly during his term Congress approved the 16th Amendment, providing for the levying of an income tax.

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In sport

  • Carlton Fisk, Baseball Hall of Famer, wore uniform #27 while playing with the Boston Red Sox. Fisk waves his homer fair to win Game 6 of the 1975 World Series 7-6 in the 12th inning against the Cinncinati Reds.
Carlton Fisk
Carlton Fisk
  • The size of a tennis court for singles is 78 feet long and 27 feet wide.
  • In tennis Bill Tilden (1893-1953) won his first Wimbledon tennis championship in 1920 at the age of 27 (he went on to win  it two more times in 1921 and 1930); he also won his first US Championship in 1920 aged 27 (and went on to win it six more times in 1921-25, and in 1929)

Bill Tilden

  • At the age of 27, Bob Feller achieved a strike-out record of 348 batters; Sandy Koufax breaks his own NL strike-out record with 276 and also sets major-league record with 11 shut-outs for a left-hander;
  • Dawn Fraser won the Olympic 100-meters freestyle swimming in 1964 aged 27.

dawn fraser

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In militaria

  • USS Suwannee (CVE-27)
  • During WWII, USS Suwannee (CVE-27) (originally an oiler AO-33, converted to an escort carrier AVG/ACV/CVE-27) saw a great deal of active service and earned 13 battle stars.  She took part in the invasion of North Africa and during the Naval Battle of Casablanca from 8–11 November, Suwannee sent up 255 air sorties and lost only five planes, three in combat and two to operational problems. She was also the first escort carrier to score against the enemy undersea menace, and she helped to prove the usefulness of her type in anti-submarine warfare.
  • Later the Suwannee was sent to the South Pacific. For the next seven months, she provided air escort for transports and supply ships replenishing and bolstering the marines on Guadalcanal, as well as for the forces occupying other islands in the Solomons group. She also participated in the Gilbert Islands operation as part of the Air Support Group of the Southern Attack Force, and her planes bombed Tarawa, while the ships in the Northern Attack Force engaged the enemy at Makin.
  • During 1944 the Suwannee joined the Northern Attack Force, and her planes bombed and strafed Roi and Namur Islands, in the northern part of Kwajalein Atoll, and conducted antisubmarine patrols for the task force. By 30 March, she was in the vicinity of the Palau Islands as the 5th Fleet subjected those islands to two days of extensive bombing raids.
  • On 24–25 October 1944, the Japanese launched a major surface offensive from three directions to contest the landings at Leyte Gulf. Suwanee was hit during the attacks but was able to resume air operations helped to fight off two more air attacks. Just after noon on 26 October, another group of kamikazes jumped Taffy 1. A Zero crashed into Suwanee’s flight deck at 1240 and careened into a torpedo bomber which had just been recovered. The two planes erupted upon contact as did nine other planes on her flight deck. The resulting fire burned for several hours, but was finally brought under control. The casualties for 25-26 October were 107 dead and 160 wounded.
  • Suwannee remained in reserve at Boston for the next 12 years. She was redesignated an escort helicopter aircraft carrier, CVHE-27, on 12 June 1955. Her name was struck from the Navy List on 1 March 1959. Her hulk was sold to the Isbrantsen Steamship Company, of New York City on 30 November 1959 for conversion to merchant service. The project was subsequently canceled and, in May 1961, her hulk was resold to the J.C. Berkwit Company, also of New York City. She was finally scrapped in Bilbao, Spain, in June 1962.

USS_Suwannee

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  • MIG-27
  • The Mikoyan MiG-27 is a variable-geometry ground-attack aircraft, originally built by the Mikoyan design bureau in the Soviet Union and later license-produced in India by Hindustan Aeronautics as the Bahadur (“Valiant”). It is based on the Mikoyan-Gurevich MiG-23 fighter aircraft, but optimized for air-to-ground attack. Unlike the MiG-23, the MiG-27 did not see widespread use outside Russia, as most countries opted for the MiG-23BN and Sukhoi Su-25 instead. It currently only remains in service with the Indian, Kazakh and Sri Lankan Air Forces in the ground attack role. All Russian and Ukrainian MiG-27s have been retired.
  • It was used by Soviet forces during the later stages of the Afghanistan conflict in 1987–1989.
  • The MiG-27 aircraft also entered service with the Sri Lanka Air Force in 2000. During the Sri Lankan Civil War, they saw considerable action bombing strategic targets and providing close air support.
  • Since 2001, the Indian Air Force has lost 12 MiG-27s to crashes and in mid-February 2010, India grounded its entire fleet of over 150 of the aircraft after a MiG-27 crashed on 16 February 2010 in Siliguri, West Bengal. The crash was attributed to defects in the R 29 engines of the aircraft, suspected to have occurred during the overhauling of the aircraft by Hindustan Aeronautics Limited.
  • The MiG-27 remains in service with the Kazakh Air Force.

Mig-27 .

  • Alenia C-27J
  • The Alenia C-27J Spartan is a medium-sized military transport aircraft. The C-27J is an advanced derivative of Alenia Aeronautica’s G.222, with the engines and systems of the Lockheed Martin C-130J Super Hercules.

c-27

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  • CZ 27
  • The CZ-27, a single action semiautomatic pistol with a capacity of 8 or 9 rounds, was developed in around 1926 by Czech arms designer Frantisek Myska in an attempt to produce simplified version of the CZ Vz.24 pistol, chambered for less powerful 7.65×17 SR Browning ammunition (also known as .32 ACP) and suited for police and security use.
  • It was put into production in 1927, at arms factory in Praha. Until the appearance of the famous CZ-75 pistol, the CZ-27 was one of the most successful handguns produced in Czechoslovakia, with well over 500 000 guns of this type produced between 1927 and 1951. During the German occupation of Czechoslovakia it was manufactured for German armed forces and police as Pistole model 27, or P.27(t) in short. It was extensively used by Czechoslovak police and security forces, and widely exported to many parts of the world.

CZ 27 .

  • OTs-27 “Berdysh” pistol
  • Originally developed by the TSKIB SOO (central design bureau for sporting and hunting arms, Tula, Russia, later merged with famous KBP design bureau) the OTs-27 “Berdysh” is a Double Action semiautomatic 9 mm pistol with a capacity of 18 rounds. It was developed for “Grach” trials, with the goal being the replacement for the venerable Makarov PM as a standard issue sidearm for Russian army. The  OTs-27 was subsequently dropped from the Grach trials, but the development continued and the pistol first appeared circa 1994.

OTs27

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Other stuff

  • Cities located at 27 degrees longitude are Lajes, Azores and Izmir, Turkey;
  • Cities located at 27 degrees latitude are Brisbane, Australia and Katmandu, Nepal;
  • There are 27 bones in the human hand;
  • The Hebrew alphabet consists of 27 letters;
  • Napoleon was named commander of the army of Italy during his 27th year, on March 2, 1796;

Napoleon Bonaparte

  • Elias Howe invents the first sewing machine in 1846 when he was 27 years old;
  • When he was aged 27 F.W. Woolworth founded Woolworth Co. (1879) selling 5¢ and 10¢ merchandise;
  • There are 27 small cubes in a Rubik’s cube;

Rubik's Cube

  • In 1806, aged 27, Zebulon M. Pike discovers Pike’s Peak, Colorado;
  • At the age of 27, Captain Matthew Webb was the first person to swim the English Channel in 1875. He took 21 hours 43 minutes for the distance of 21 miles. Sadly eight years later, aged 35, Webb drowned while trying to swim across the waters above Niagara Falls in an attempt to exploit his fame as a swimmer. A memorial stone to Webb carries this inscription: “Nothing Great Is Easy”.

Captain Matthew Webb memorial

  • John Smith was 27 years old when he led the first English settlement in North America at Jamestown, Virginia in 1607; he was saved from death by Pocohontas.

Pocahontas

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Clever Celebrity Caricatures

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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As most of you know, the main focus of this blog is on the stupidity of the politicians and bureaucrats who do all that they can to make our lives less enjoyable and free than they could be without such unwanted and idiotic interference.

Occasionally, however, I like to feature quite the opposite, things and people who are exceptional in their chosen field, whether that be science, sport, engineering, music or whatever.

Today’s post is one of the latter and is a wonderful selection of caricatures that I received in a recent email. Unfortunately I don’t know the names of the exceptional artists who did these drawings, otherwise I would be more than happy to acknowledge them. Nonetheless I think as wide an audience as possible deserves to be able to view their work and what follows I hope will be a small part of that.

Enjoy, I think you will. And if you feel the urge please let me know you favorite or favorites.

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Caricatures.

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Einstein

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Angela Merkel and Gordon Brown

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Barack Obama and Arnold Schwarzenegger

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Benedikt XVI and Prince Charles

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George W Bush and Vladimir Poetin

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Bill Clinton and Gerhard Schroder

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Donald Trump and Bill Gates

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Andy Warhol and Salvador Dali

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Pablo Picasso and Karl Lagerfeld

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Quentin Tarantino and Alfred Hitchcock .

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Steven Spielberg and Roman Polanski

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Angela Jolie and Brad Pitt.

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Bette Davis and Marlene Dietrich.

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Bill Murray and Bruce Willis

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Christopher Walken

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Clint Eastwood and George Clooney

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Humphrey Bogart and Harrison Ford

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Jack Nicholson and Jamie Lee Curtis

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John Wayne and Klaus Kinski

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Lee Marvin and Marilyn Monroe

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Meryl Streep and Nicolas Cage

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Paul Newman and Orson Wells

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Penelope Cruz and Robert de Niro

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Rowan Atkinson and Sarah Jessica Parker

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Sean Connery and Sophia Loren

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Sylvester Stallone and Tom Cruise.

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Tom Hanks and Uma Thurman

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Whoopi Goldberg and Bruce Lee

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Bjork and David Bowie

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Chet Baker

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Dolly Parton and Duke Ellington

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Elvis Presley and Eric Clapton

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James Brown and John Lenon

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Keith Richards and Kylie Minogue

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Lou Reed and Michael Jackson

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Madonna

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Mick Jagger and Neil Young

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Paul McCartney and Steve Tyler

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Tina Turner and Katarina Witt

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THE END

(Copyright to all drawings belong to the original artists)

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The Answers That Raise More Questions Than The Questions They Answer, In Other Words It’s Quiz Show Monday!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes, it’s another Quiz Show Monday and time to examine the workings of the inner minds that really don’t work so well.

Enjoy.

(Now where did I put that flask???)

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Q: Name a cable TV channel the whole family can watch together

A: UPN (He meant “USPN”)

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Q: Name something men would carry inside bras, if they started wearing them

A: Flask

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Q: Name something you see at every college football game

A: Alcohol

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Q: Name a food people put ketchup on

A: Bacon

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Q: Name something you do while you sunbathe

A: Lay in the sun

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Q: Name a place where you might see another person take off all their clothes

A: The mall

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Q: Name a specific place where you’d hate to be during a major power failure

A: In a car

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Q: Name a famous “Arnold”

A: Arnold & Willis

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Q: The country you think has the most exciting men? (Asked to 100 women)

A: Paris

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Q: Name a month that’s also a person’s name

A: January

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Q: Name something with a hole in the middle

A: Hole punch

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Q: Name something people hold still for

A: When they have to go to the bathroom

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Q: How long an extramarital affair lasts

A: 3 days

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Q: Name a fact about Al Gore

A: He’s a Republican

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Q: The section of the newspaper in which you’d be shocked to find your name

A: Weddings
A: Lost and Found

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Q: The fastest selling drug

A: Marijuana
A: Vicodin

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Q: The person who is most likely to be on George W. Bush’s dartboard

A: Jesse Jackson
A: Larry King

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Q: Name something that comes in pairs

A: Bananas

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Q: Name something little kids don’t like to wear

A: Shirts

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Q: Name a vegetable that grows in the ground

A: Cabbage

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Another Selection Of Those Word Puzzles Called Anagrams.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Another selection of those word puzzles called anagrams. Some of the usual suspects are back, but with different takes on their name, and of course thee are a lot of new ones too.

Enjoy.

 

 

‘Dolly Parton’

Dynatrollop

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‘The Prince of Wales (Charles Philip Arthur George Mountbatten-Windsor)’

Real pompous, petulant, high-class inbreed wretch waiting for E.R. throne.

———————-

 

‘The Titanic disaster’

Death, it starts in ice

———————-

 

‘Western Union’

No Wire Unsent

———————-

 

‘The Cincinnati Reds’

Indecent Christian

———————-

 

‘Confessional’

On scale of sin

———————-

 

‘Princess Diana’

End is a car spin

———————-

 

‘Astronomer’

Moon starer

———————-

 

‘Astronomers’

No more stars

———————-

 

‘Frito Lay’

Oily Fart

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‘Conversation’

Voices Rant On

———————-

 

‘ipod lover’

Poor devil

———————-

 

‘Justin Timberlake’

I’m a jerk but listen

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Mitt Romney for President

form prime intent, destroy

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 ‘Christmas’

Trims cash

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‘A Domesticated Animal’

Docile, as a man tamed it

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‘Garbage Man’

Bag manager

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‘President Bush of the USA’

A fresh one, but he’s stupid

———————-

 

 ‘Adolf Hitler’

Heil, old fart!

———————-

 

‘Chairman Mao’

I am on a march.

 

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Another Selection Of Anagrams, part two in this short Sunday series

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Welcome to another Sunday and another selection of anagrams to, I hope, amuse and entertain.

 

 

‘Plastic surgery’

Result: Gasp! I cry

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‘The Prince of Wales (Charles Philip Arthur George Mountbatten-Windsor)’

Pre-eminent twerp. Highbrow felon. Adulterous English aristocrat chap.

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‘America’s first moon landing’

Grand-scale misinformation!

———————-

 

‘marriage’

A grim era

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‘marriage vows’

Orgasm waiver

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‘menstrual cycle’

Cleanly rectums

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‘Evangelist’

Evil’s agent

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‘Desperation’

A rope ends it

———————-

 

‘The Morse Code’

Here come dots

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‘Slot Machines’

Cash lost in ’em

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‘The Public Art Galleries’

Large picture halls, I bet

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‘A Decimal Point’

I’m a dot in place

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‘The Earthquakes’

That queer shake

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‘Eleven plus two’

Twelve plus one

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“That’s one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind.” (Neil Armstrong, on the moon)

A thin man ran; makes a large stride, left planet, pins flag on moon! On to Mars!

———————-

 

‘President Clinton, of the USA’

To copulate, he finds interns

———————-

 

‘President Barack Hussein Obama

A maniac presides. The banks rob u

———————-

 

‘William Shakespeare’

I’ll make a wise phrase

———————-

 

‘Jay Leno’

Enjoy L.A.

———————-

 

‘Gene Simmons’

Immense song

———————-

 

‘The eyes’

They see

 

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Another Selection Of Anagrams

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Last week’s selection of anagrams prompted a challenge to do one about ‘Clint Eastwood’ that included the word ‘stool’ in reference to his recent debacle at the Republican Party’s shin-dig in Florida. The best one I could come up with was – ‘Stool tactic a downer’ – but if you can do better please have a go by all means.

Meantime here is another selection for (I hope) your enjoyment and amusement.

 

 

‘federal bureau of investigation’

If found alive, abuse, interrogate!

———————-

 

‘washington dc’

Don’t shag in WC

———————-

 

‘princess diana’

Ascend in Paris

———————-

 

‘Microsoft Frontpage Technical Support’           

Oops, if PC falters contact or ring them up

———————-

 

‘Microsoft technical support’

Con, from culprit’s pathetic OS

———————-

 

‘Microsoft Incorporated’

Aim: no cost, record profit!

———————-

 

‘Microsoft Incorporated’

Moronic code rats profit

———————-

 

‘The Prince of Wales (Charles Philip Arthur George Mountbatten-Windsor)’

E.R. recalls his torment, huge ears flapping about in the wind. Poor wretch!

———————-

 

‘Liposuction surgery’

Super, young clitoris

———————-

 

 ‘Author George Orwell’

Wrote “Hog-Rule Galore!”

———————-

 

‘The President Of The United States Of America, George Walker Bush’

The twit threatens Baghdad. (To make sure of oil preference, I guess!)

———————-

 

‘The USA President George Bush’

Bugger the one stupid ass here!

———————-

 

‘George Walker Bush, President of the United States of America’

Damn! Result is garbage, takes pretender to White House office

———————-

 

‘The Terrorist Osama Bin Laden’

Arab monster is no idle threat

———————-

 

‘Saddam Hussein and Osama Bin Laden’

Bad human demon and ideal assassin.

———————-

 

‘Dan Brown, writer of the Da Vinci Code.’

Torrid wand of a bewitched conniver

———————-

 

‘Hamas wins election’

New hostile maniacs

———————-

 

‘The first moon landing’

Grand hit on film-set, No?

 

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Anagrams

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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I like anagrams. I think they can be quite clever and I enjoy both reading them and also making them too.

Other people believe that they have greater significance, revealing ‘hidden’ messages about the subject matter. That’s as maybe.

The best ones, however, are both amusing and should have some link to the source word or phrase.

Here is a short selection. Some of them may surprise you.

Enjoy.

 

 

‘Liposuction surgery’

Incurs lousy ego-trip

———————-

 

‘A Christmas Carol: The Movie’

Oh, a classic: heart-mover “Tim”

———————-

 

‘Charles Laughton’

An actor? He’ll gush!

———————-

 

‘Clint Eastwood’           

Old west action

———————-

 

‘Dolly Parton’

Top? Only lard

———————

 

‘How the West was won’           

What we shot we owns

———————

 

‘Lawrence of Arabia’

Albion warfare ace

———————

 

‘Plastic surgery’

Ugly star’s price

———————

 

‘breast implants’           

‘Men’s pal? Bra/tits.’

———————-

 

‘lee harvey oswald’

Reveal who slayed

———————-

 

‘hunchback of notre dam’

Fat, hunchbacked moron

———————-

 

‘world trade centre’

Lewd terror act end

———————-

 

‘weapons of mass destruction’

US team swoops. Finds no trace

———————-

 

‘microsoft windows xp’

Worm downs PC, so fix it!

———————-

 

‘microsoft operating systems’

Sorest gits scam money, profit

———————-

 

‘moral majority’ 

Trim amoral joy

———————-

 

‘homeland security’

Our decline’s a myth

———————-

 

‘first lady’

Idly farts

 

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Witty One-liner Wednesday – Some More Sayings Of The Late George Carlin

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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This Wednesday I am pleased to present part two of my trio of tributes to the late George Carlin and his great gift for seeing the world from the humorous side.

It turns out from the reaction to last week’s post that George still has a lot of fans out there which is great news.

Enjoy this latest selection.

 

 

If it requires a uniform, it’s a worthless endeavor.

 

As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero, he no longer is.

 

If a movie is described as a romantic comedy, you can usually find me next door playing pinball.

 

The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.

 

I knew a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary.

 

I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.

 

If you’ve got a cat and a leg, you’ve got a happy cat. If you’ve got a cat and two legs, you’ve got a party.

 

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.

 

Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?

 

Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.”

 

I’ve never seen a homeless guy with a bottle of Gatorade.

 

One great thing about getting old is that you can get out of all sorts of social obligations just by saying you’re too tired.

 

If Helen Keller had psychic ability, would you say she had a fourth sense?

 

In America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem.

 

“One thing leads to another”? Not always. Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing. Ask an addict.

 

Property is theft. Nobody “owns” anything. When you die, it all stays here.

 

The future will soon be a thing of the past.

 

Bowling is not a sport because you have to rent the shoes.

 

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

 

===========================

 

The Missouri Mass Murderer

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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I’m sure not many of you will have heard of the Missouri Mass Murderer, but that’s probably because I just made it up to get a catchy title for this blog post.

Nevertheless there was such a person and she could even be described as a serial killer such was the number of her victims.

Born in Joplin, Missouri, her name was Elva Ruby Connes Miller and she murdered some of the best songs ever written. In fact she tortured some of them to death in the most horrific manner.

Despite having studied music, voice, and composition at Pomona College, the woman could not sing. She had not a note in her body. Tone deaf does not even begin to describe it. Shrill, out of key, horrendous vibrato when completely uncalled for. You name a wrong way of doing it and she did it. It was carnage.

Curiously, sometimes when someone does something particularly badly it turns out to be something you have to look at, or in this case listen to. And when you hear one song, you need to hear another just to make sure she was as bad as you thought.

Not surprisingly Mrs Miller had to self finance her first recordings but was eventually featured by KMPC disc jockey (and later Laugh-In announcer) Gary Owens on his radio program. Around the same time, 1960, she also appeared on a limited-run album of his comedy routines. Owens can therefore be blamed – sorry, credited – as the person who first discovered her.

Astonishingly Miller was signed to Capitol Records by Lex de Azevedo, a young up-and-coming producer at the label, although nowadays he apparently does not care to discuss his involvement with Miller!

Equally astonishingly, her first LP, ironically titled “Mrs. Miller’s Greatest Hits”, appeared in 1966 and sold over 250,000 copies in its first three weeks! She sang for US servicemen in Vietnam (they should probably have got her to sing to the Viet Cong), performed at the Hollywood Bowl, guest starred on numerous television shows, and appeared in Roddy McDowall’s film The Cool Ones.

But her fame was short-lived. Interest in Miller soon waned. She was dropped by Capitol and, in 1968, and released her final album, “Mrs. Miller Does Her Thing”, on the Amaret label. She later issued several singles on her own Vibrato Records label, then retired from singing in the early 1970s. She died in 1997 in Garden Terrace Retirement Center, in Vista, California.

A friend of mine introduced me to Mrs Miller’s noise (I won’t dignify it by calling it music) a few years ago when he gave me a CD of her greatest hits. 

But bad as it certainly is, I have put it to good use over the years. I like to take it to other people’s houses, or when we are in the car. I “big” up this great singer I have discovered, pop the CD into the player and then watch the utter confusion and dismay on their faces as they listen to what Mrs Miller has to offer.

Below are a few examples of her crimes. Tunes you may be familiar with “A Groovy Kind Of Love”, The Girl From Ipanema”, “Let’s Hang On”, Strangers In The Night”, “A Hard Days Night”, “Downtown”, and “These Boots Are Made For Walkin”. There are others on youtube.com if you get hooked, just do a search for Mrs Miller.

I usually say “Enjoy” at this point in my posts. However, today I do not think it is appropriate. Although I should perhaps add the disclaimer that, if you are of a sensitive nature you may find the following upsetting.

 

 

A Groovy Kind Of Love

 

 

The Girl From Ipanema


 
 

Let’s Hang On


 

 

Strangers In The Night


 

 

A Hard Days Night


 

 

Downtown


 

 

These Boots Are Made For Walkin


 

 

 

Optimist Or Pessimist?

 

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

 

churchill-opportunity-optimist-pessimist
Churchill poster opportunity optimist v pessimist


Yesterday I wrote about whether your glass is half full or half empty.

Closely related to that, though also slightly different in degree perhaps, is whether you are an optimist or a pessimist.

I have a friend who has gone through life with a “when one closes another one shuts” philosophy. He also says things like, “Behind every silver lining there’s a cloud”.

It’s amusing, but in his case and I would guess in a good many others, that attitude eventually becomes a self-fulfilling predicament. He’s never taken any chances in life and he has been in a job that he never really cared for, for the past 30 years or so. He’s just counting the days until he can retire and he has been doing that for many, many years, not just recently. Sad, but it can’t be helped, or rather he can’t be helped.

As well as creating an aversion to any sort of risk, if you think things will go wrong then they usually will, and more often than not it’s your own fault. If you set out to do something with failure uppermost in your mind, you psych yourself out of giving 100 percent to the task at hand. If you don’t give it that 100 percent effort then it will either not turn out as good as it could have, or it will fail completely. In such cases the pessimist always blames things like bad luck, or other people, never their own defeatist attitude from the outset.

An optimistic person, on the other hand, will approach a task thinking it is going to succeed. Therefore in their case they will put much more care and effort into it (even sometimes subconsciously) thereby raising their chances of succeeding. Don’t get me wrong, starting off with an optimistic viewpoint will not guarantee success, it will just make for a better attempt at the job, and the better the job you do the better are the chances it will succeed.

Failure will stop a pessimist dead in his tracks because he is sure he is going to fail from the beginning and when it happens he shrugs his shoulders and packs up and goes home.

But failure won’t do the same for a person with an optimistic outlook. An optimist is surprised by failure. He usually wants to know why it happened, so he will analyze it and then try again.

And that is one of the great secrets to success. Sir Winston Churchill probably defined it best when he said that “success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm”, and although Churchill is now remembered for his notable political victories and war-time leadership, he also had his fare share of defeats as well along the way.

I have been part of several projects that have been complete failures, but that never stopped me from getting back up, dusting myself down, and trying again. And if you stay optimistic and work accordingly giving 100 percent of your effort then sooner or later you will succeed.

I’m very optimistic about that!

 

PS: I haven’t tried this out, but they say you should always borrow money from a pessimist, because he doesn’t expect to get paid back!