“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
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This Wednesday I am pleased to present part two of my trio of tributes to the late George Carlin and his great gift for seeing the world from the humorous side.
It turns out from the reaction to last week’s post that George still has a lot of fans out there which is great news.
Enjoy this latest selection.
If it requires a uniform, it’s a worthless endeavor.
As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero, he no longer is.
If a movie is described as a romantic comedy, you can usually find me next door playing pinball.
The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.
I knew a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary.
I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
If you’ve got a cat and a leg, you’ve got a happy cat. If you’ve got a cat and two legs, you’ve got a party.
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?
Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.”
I’ve never seen a homeless guy with a bottle of Gatorade.
One great thing about getting old is that you can get out of all sorts of social obligations just by saying you’re too tired.
If Helen Keller had psychic ability, would you say she had a fourth sense?
In America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem.
“One thing leads to another”? Not always. Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing. Ask an addict.
Property is theft. Nobody “owns” anything. When you die, it all stays here.
The future will soon be a thing of the past.
Bowling is not a sport because you have to rent the shoes.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
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