Treadmills Get You Nowhere

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Pun day!

Steel yourselves for some more rather bad jokes.

There must be a few out there with masochistic tendencies because you seem to enjoy puns or word play jokes.

Me too.

So let’s get on with today’s selection.

Enjoy!

.

.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

Broken Handle

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft.

Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again

that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

Two Eskimos in a Kayak Clipart

. 

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.

Urban-Camouflage

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married.

The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.

two antennas

Banning the bra was a big flop.

 boobes cartoon

.

Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?

peeping tome

. 

Khakis: What you need to start the car in Boston.

boston-alphabet

. 

A pessimist’s blood type is always b-negative.

A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative

A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only shorts made from Bubble wrap.

The psychiatrist says, “Well, I can clearly see you’re nuts.”

Bubble-Wrap

Two wrongs don’t make a right.

But three rights make a left.

3 rights make a left

Thieves broke into the carpet store last night.

Police think it might be rug related.

rug

Corduroy pillows. They’re making headlines.

corduroy-pillows

Why was the dog standing still?

Because it was on paws.

 happy_cartoon_dog

.

A woman has identical twins and gives them up for adoption.

One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named “Ahmal.”

The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him “Juan.”

Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother.

Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal.

Her husband responds, “They’re twins for goodness sake! If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Ahmal.”

Juan and Ahmal

.

======================

.

Optimist Or Pessimist?

 

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

 

churchill-opportunity-optimist-pessimist
Churchill poster opportunity optimist v pessimist


Yesterday I wrote about whether your glass is half full or half empty.

Closely related to that, though also slightly different in degree perhaps, is whether you are an optimist or a pessimist.

I have a friend who has gone through life with a “when one closes another one shuts” philosophy. He also says things like, “Behind every silver lining there’s a cloud”.

It’s amusing, but in his case and I would guess in a good many others, that attitude eventually becomes a self-fulfilling predicament. He’s never taken any chances in life and he has been in a job that he never really cared for, for the past 30 years or so. He’s just counting the days until he can retire and he has been doing that for many, many years, not just recently. Sad, but it can’t be helped, or rather he can’t be helped.

As well as creating an aversion to any sort of risk, if you think things will go wrong then they usually will, and more often than not it’s your own fault. If you set out to do something with failure uppermost in your mind, you psych yourself out of giving 100 percent to the task at hand. If you don’t give it that 100 percent effort then it will either not turn out as good as it could have, or it will fail completely. In such cases the pessimist always blames things like bad luck, or other people, never their own defeatist attitude from the outset.

An optimistic person, on the other hand, will approach a task thinking it is going to succeed. Therefore in their case they will put much more care and effort into it (even sometimes subconsciously) thereby raising their chances of succeeding. Don’t get me wrong, starting off with an optimistic viewpoint will not guarantee success, it will just make for a better attempt at the job, and the better the job you do the better are the chances it will succeed.

Failure will stop a pessimist dead in his tracks because he is sure he is going to fail from the beginning and when it happens he shrugs his shoulders and packs up and goes home.

But failure won’t do the same for a person with an optimistic outlook. An optimist is surprised by failure. He usually wants to know why it happened, so he will analyze it and then try again.

And that is one of the great secrets to success. Sir Winston Churchill probably defined it best when he said that “success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm”, and although Churchill is now remembered for his notable political victories and war-time leadership, he also had his fare share of defeats as well along the way.

I have been part of several projects that have been complete failures, but that never stopped me from getting back up, dusting myself down, and trying again. And if you stay optimistic and work accordingly giving 100 percent of your effort then sooner or later you will succeed.

I’m very optimistic about that!

 

PS: I haven’t tried this out, but they say you should always borrow money from a pessimist, because he doesn’t expect to get paid back!