Who needs rhetorical questions.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

It a bit like asking, who needs Puns when you know everybody does!

And here’s some more.

Enjoy or endure!!

.

rofl

.

Apparently most people lean slightly

forward when they nod their head.

I must say I’m inclined to agree.

 nodding head yes

.

.

Where do people from Senegal drive?

In Dakar

 Dakar

.

.

Someone just threw a bottle

of Omega 3 pills at me.

Don’t worry, I only suffered

super fish oil injuries.

 Omega 3 pills

.

.

Skydiving without a parachute is

a once in a lifetime experience.

 Skydiving without a parachute

.

.

Past, Present and Future walked into a Bar

It was tense.

 Past, Present and Future

.

.

I work as a waiter.

The pay isn’t great

but I put food on the table.

 waiter

.

.

What do you call someone who points out the obvious?

Someone who points out the obvious.

 someone who points out the obvious

.

.

Passport Inspectors:

You’ve got to hand it to them

 Passport Inspector

.

.

My ex-wife was deaf.

She left me for a deaf friend of hers.

To be honest,

I should have seen the signs.

 deaf

.

.

When I was little I had imaginary friends

and I used to play with them all the time.

They were real people,

I just imagined they were my friends.

 imaginary friends

.

.

Coke dealers.

Always sticking their business

in other people’s noses.

 Coke dealers

.

.

The Beach Boys walk into a bar

“Round?”

“Round?”

“Get a round”

“I get a round?”

“Get a round….”

.

.

=============================

.

Welcome To Another Quiz Day.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Welcome to another quiz day.

Twenty more random questions to test your brain.

As usual the answers can be found waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below,  but please NO cheating!

Enjoy and good luck.

.

quiz 04

.

Q.  1:  GEICO is a huge very well known auto insurance company, the second largest auto insurer in the United States, but what do the letters ‘G-E-I-C-O’ stand for?

.

.

Q.  2:  On a NY license plate, is New York on the top or bottom?

.

.

Q.  3:  In which ocean is the area known as Polynesia?

.

.

Q.  4:  During World War Two what proportion of German soldiers who died were killed on the Eastern Front?

           a)  20%          b) 40%            c) 60%            d) 80%

.

.

Q.  5:  Ernesto ‘Che’ Guevara, the revolutionary hero, took part in guerrilla wars in Cuba and was killed fighting Bolivian troops, but what nationality was he?

.

.

Q.  6:  Whose high school nickname on the basketball team was “Barry O’Bomber”?

.

.

Q.  7:  What is the infinity sign called?

.

.

Q.  8:  How many sides are there on a standard pencil?

.

.

Q.  9:  What is the only English word with five consecutive vowels?

.

.

Q. 10:  Over 30 million people in the US and millions more in other countries “suffer” from Diastima. What is it?

.

.

Q. 11:  What country leader’s name has become synonymous as a person who betrays his or her own country by aiding an invading enemy, often serving later in a puppet government or as a fifth columnist?

.

.

Q. 12:  How did the famous ‘Tribeca’ area in Manhattan, New York get its name?

.

.

Q. 13:  Who were the unlikely twins in the 1988 movie of that name? (A point for each correct answer.)

.

.

Q. 14:  What mythological Greek god’s name was used in a famous disaster movie and its sequels and spin-offs?

.

.

Q. 15:  What is the origin of the name ‘Jeep’?

.

.

Q. 16:  Where does parma ham originate? (You need the name of BOTH the town and the country to score a point.)

.

.

Q. 17:  Only two states’ names in the US begin with double consonants, a point for each one you name correctly.

.

.

Q. 18:  The Terminator was sent from the future to kill who in the first of this series of movies?

.

.

Q. 19:  What is the name of the highest military decoration awarded for valour “in the face of the enemy” to members of the armed forces of various Commonwealth countries, and previous British Empire territories?

.

.

Q. 20:  What was it that The Beatles wanted to hold in 1964?

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

ANSWERS

.

Q.  1:  GEICO is a huge very well known auto insurance company, the second largest auto insurer in the United States, but what do the letters ‘G-E-I-C-O’ stand for?

A.  1:  ‘GEICO’ stands for Government Employees Insurance Company.

.

.

Q.  2:  On a NY license plate, is New York on the top or bottom?

A.  2:  It’s on the top.

.

.

Q.  3:  In which ocean is the area known as Polynesia?

A.  3:  The Pacific Ocean.

.

.

Q.  4:  During World War Two what proportion of German soldiers who died were killed on the Eastern Front?

           a)  20%          b) 40%            c) 60%            d) 80%

A.  4:  Answer d) 80%. For every five German soldiers who died in WWII, four of them died on the Eastern Front.

.

.

Q.  5:  Ernesto ‘Che’ Guevara, the revolutionary hero, took part in guerrilla wars in Cuba and was killed fighting Bolivian troops, but what nationality was he?

A.  5:  He was Argentinean.

.

.

Q.  6:  Whose high school nickname on the basketball team was “Barry O’Bomber”?

A.  6:  “Barry O’Bomber” was the high school nickname of a  fellow called Barrack Obama.

.

.

Q.  7:  What is the infinity sign called?

A.  7:  The infinity sign is called a ‘lemniscate’.

.

.

Q.  8:  How many sides are there on a standard pencil?

A.  8:  There are 6 sides on a standard pencil.

.

.

Q.  9:  What is the only English word with five consecutive vowels?

A.  9:  “Queueing” is the only English word with five consecutive vowels.

.

.

Q. 10:  Over 30 million people in the US and millions more in other countries “suffer” from Diastima. What is it?

A. 10:  Diastima is having a gap between your front teeth.

.

.

Q. 11:  What country leader’s name has become synonymous as a person who betrays his or her own country by aiding an invading enemy, often serving later in a puppet government or as a fifth columnist?

A. 11:  Norweigan leader Vidkun Quisling collaborated with the invading German army during WWII. After the war he was put on trial and found guilty of embezzlement, murder and high treason and executed by firing squad at Akershus Fortress, Oslo, on 24 October 1945.

.

.

Q. 12:  How did the famous ‘Tribeca’ area in Manhattan, New York get its name?

A. 12:  ‘Tribeca’ in Manhattan, New  York stands for TRIangle BElow CAnal street.

.

.

Q. 13:  Who were the unlikely twins in the 1988 movie of that name? (A point for each correct answer.)

A. 13:  The twins in the movie ‘Twins’ were Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito.

.

.

Q. 14:  What mythological Greek god’s name was used in a famous disaster movie and its sequels and spin-offs?

A. 14:  Poseidon, as in ‘The Poseidon Adventure’ (1972), ‘Beyond the Poseidon Adventure’ (1979), ‘The Poseidon Adventure’ (2005) (TV Movie), and ‘Poseidon’ (2006).

.

.

Q. 15:  What is the origin of the name ‘Jeep’?

A. 15:  The name Jeep came from the abbreviation used in the army for the “General Purpose” vehicle, G.P.

.

.

Q. 16:  Where does parma ham originate? (You need the name of BOTH the town and the country to score a point.)

A. 16:  Parma, Italy.

.

.

Q. 17:  Only two states’ names in the US begin with double consonants, a point for each one you name correctly.

A. 17:  The only two states’ names in the US that begin with double consonants are Florida and Rhode Island.

.

.

Q. 18:  The Terminator was sent from the future to kill who in the first of this series of movies?

A. 18:  Sarah Connor.

.

.

Q. 19:  What is the name of the highest military decoration awarded for valour “in the face of the enemy” to members of the armed forces of various Commonwealth countries, and previous British Empire territories?

A. 19:  The Victoria Cross.

.

.

Q. 20:  What was it that The Beatles wanted to hold in 1964?

A. 20:  They wanted to hold ‘Your Hand’.

.

.

===============================================

.

Cheers! It’s The End For Cliff Clavin!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

I know Cliff Clavin, the Cheers character played by John Ratzenberger for many years, was only a pretend mailman but if Jeff Bezos gets his way – and he usually does – then mailmen will have a lot less to do.

Cliff_Clavin_in_Cheers

Cliff used to drone on in Cheers and bore everyone in the bar, but in the future jobs like his are to be taken over by drones.

The military applications are well known, but instead of delivering a few pounds of high explosives to an unsuspecting terrorist, drone technology, which was legalized for commercial use last year (2012), is being developed by Bezos and his team to deliver Amazon products by air right to your front door in about 30 minutes.

We’re entering the realms of science fiction here. And if it were anyone else but Bezos you might be forgiven for dismissing the idea. But he thinks big, and thanks to the success of Amazon he has the big bucks to make it happen.

Amazon Prime Air drone

If it is real and it does happen, personally I think its great! An application for this technology other than the usual powers-that-be crap of using it to kill and spy on us.

Amazon says that, “From a technology point of view, we’ll be ready to enter commercial operations as soon as the necessary regulations are in place.”

The Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) is working on rules for unmanned aerial vehicles. They’ll take their time as always, but eventually it will happen.

So in a few years time seeing Amazon drones in the air may well be as normal as seeing mail trucks on the road today.

Here’s a taste of the future for you.                                           

.

.

========================================

.

Oh No! Not Again!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

The Sunday Sermon.

.

If you have read any of my previous entries in the politics section of this blog you will already be aware of my extremely low opinion of the intelligence of those in America who are in charge of foreign policy.

These idiots blunder about knowing little of history or tradition in other nations and make quick reaction judgments that are short sighted and that have continually come back to bite them on the ass.

Well, not them exactly, but the poor servicemen and women who are sent in to mop up their messes.

So what has got me ranting this time?

Only the fact that the morons in charge are currently negotiating what is being called ‘a groundbreaking agreement’ that will give American nuclear know-how to the country where Osama Bin Laden and the vast majority of the 9/11 terrorists came from.

Yes, Saudi Arabia.

Coat_of_arms_of_Saudi_Arabia

.

The short-sighted US strategy is probably to assist an ally (an oil rich one, of course) to make it an unconquerable target for any of the other states in the area who have expansionist plans for the future.

Great – while the Saud family stay in control, or while a sensible member of the Saud family is in charge.

But what happens if, sometime down the road, the ruling dynasty is overthrown? Not an unknown occurrence in the Middle East. Or what happens if one day there is the equivalent of an ‘Osama’ in the Saud family just as there was in the Bin Laden family?

And what happened to all those non proliferation agreements designed to keep dangerous weapons out of the hands of those incapable of handling them sensibly?

The last thing the Middle East needs is yet another country developing nuclear weapons capability. It doesn’t take a genius to figure that one out.

If the consequences were not so potentially tragic, it would be fun watching the political morons in Washington justifying going to war to take nuclear capability away from Iran, which at least holds democratic elections, yet at the same time giving nuclear capability to Saudi Arabia which is an undemocratic dictatorship.

Not even the most devout liberal could spin that one to make it sound good!

.

Mushroom-Cloud

=======================================================

.

Blunt Knives Are Pointless

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Blunt knives may be pointless, but let’s hope these puns aren’t.

Here we go with another selection of the word play bad jokes.

Enjoy.

.

.

He drove his expensive car into a tree

and found out how the Mercedes bends.

merc crash

.

.

When two egotists meet,

it’s an I for an I.

egotists

.

.

I don’t know why the chicken did it

but crossing the road was poultry in motion.

why did the chicken cross the road

.

.

I was walking down the street today when this hippie jumped

out of nowhere and shoved a joss stick in my face.

I was incensed!

Incense_Sticks

.

.

When I was a kid I wanted to be a history teacher

but when I got older I realized there was no future in it.

History teacher

.

.

One of the girls at the local S&M club had a birthday last week.

We had a whip round for her.

sales_and_marketing

.

.

73% of women buy clothes but never wear them.

I’d like to meet those women.

naked_woman_cartoon

.

.

The other week I made a joke about Alzheimer’s live on TV.

You should have seen the envelopes I got.

empty envelope

.

.

I hate germ warfare.

It gets right on my nerves.

germ_warfare

.

.

The President says that terrorism poses a threat to every single person in the USA.

That doesn’t bother me – I got married last week.

wedding-couple-cartoon

.

.

A jumper cable walks into a bar.

The bartender says, “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”

jumper cables

.

.

I used to hunt seals in my youth.
I’m getting a bit old for the club scene now.

Baby  seal

.

.

Old McDonald had a farm.

Sang the cheery repossession man

Foreclosure Notice

.

.

Don’t take life too seriously;

No one gets out alive.

Dont-Take-Life-Too-Seriously

.

======================

.

I Miss Him

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Yes, I miss him, I really do.

And from what some of you have said recently, I’m not the only one.

So, today I have the honor of recalling probably some of the greatest political statements ever made or ever likely to be made.

For those of you who were privileged to live through these wondrous years I hope you enjoy recalling some of these important moments. For those who were too young to appreciate them at the time, you are I think in for a delight.

But that’s enough of an intro.

Without further ado I present to you some of the immortal words of United States of America President, George W Bush.

Enjoy!

. 

Former United States President George W Bush

.  

“Public speaking is very easy.”

-George W. Bush

.

.

“The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country.”

– George W. Bush

.

.

“If we don’t succeed, we run the risk of failure.”

– George W. Bush

.

.

“One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is ‘to be prepared’.”

– George W. Bush

.

.

“I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future.”

-George W. Bush

.

.

“Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children.” 

– George W. Bush

.

.

“We’re going to have the best educated American people in the world.” 

– George W. Bush

.

.

“The future will be better tomorrow.”

– George W. Bush

.

.

“We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe.”

– George W. Bush

.

.

“A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.” 

– George W. Bush

.

.

“We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur.”

– George W. Bush

.

.

“For NASA, space is still a high priority.”

– George W. Bush

.

.

“It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.”

-George W. Bush

.

.

“It’s time for the human race to enter the solar system.”

– George W. Bush

.

.

“You’ve also got to measure in order to begin to effect change that’s just more — when there’s more than talk, there’s just actual — a paradigm shift.” 

– George W. Bush

.

.

“I stand by all the misstatements that I’ve made.”

– George W. Bush

.

.

===================

.

Witty One-liner Wednesday – Some More Sayings Of The Late George Carlin

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

 .

This Wednesday I am pleased to present part two of my trio of tributes to the late George Carlin and his great gift for seeing the world from the humorous side.

It turns out from the reaction to last week’s post that George still has a lot of fans out there which is great news.

Enjoy this latest selection.

 

 

If it requires a uniform, it’s a worthless endeavor.

 

As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero, he no longer is.

 

If a movie is described as a romantic comedy, you can usually find me next door playing pinball.

 

The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.

 

I knew a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary.

 

I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.

 

If you’ve got a cat and a leg, you’ve got a happy cat. If you’ve got a cat and two legs, you’ve got a party.

 

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.

 

Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?

 

Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.”

 

I’ve never seen a homeless guy with a bottle of Gatorade.

 

One great thing about getting old is that you can get out of all sorts of social obligations just by saying you’re too tired.

 

If Helen Keller had psychic ability, would you say she had a fourth sense?

 

In America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem.

 

“One thing leads to another”? Not always. Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing. Ask an addict.

 

Property is theft. Nobody “owns” anything. When you die, it all stays here.

 

The future will soon be a thing of the past.

 

Bowling is not a sport because you have to rent the shoes.

 

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

 

===========================