Shock Headline: Rising Numbers Are On The Increase.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

But no shock that today is another Pun Day!

Enjoy or endure!!

.

rofl

.

Just opened my Electric bill and my Water bill at the same time.

I was completely shocked.

Utility-Bill

.

The man who invented Velcro has died.

RIP

Velcro

.

.

Keifer Sutherland was held up by Homeland Security

when he flew into LA airport for the

filming of the first episode of a new TV series.

They asked him the purpose of his visit and he said,

“I’m here to shoot a pilot.”

Keifer Sutherland with gun action shot

.

My great uncle was so stubborn,

when he died, he left a won’t.

so stubborn

.

“You make a very good cuppa,” she said.

“It’s my special tea,” I replied.

cup of tea

.

. 

I fell down a really deep dark hole today.

I just couldn’t see that well.

well

.

There are countless films without Dracula in them.

dracula risen-fangs

.

Just read a really sad story about how

blind people get used to new surroundings…

Touching stuff.

blind people touching

.

I’ve decided to stop wearing my glasses.

It makes me look harder.

Worker looking forward, covering eyes from the sun

.

 A rule of grammar:

double negatives are a no-no.

The-Simpsons-s11e06-Hello-Gutter-Hello-Fadder

.

So here I am trekking through the woods……

hang on, bear with me

trekking through the woods

.

Weighing an elephant is just like weighing a human.

But on a much bigger scale.

Weighing an elephant

.

I asked my boss if I could leave half an hour early the other day.

He said, ” Only if you make up the time.”

I said, ” OK. It’s 35 past 50.”         

time-management-clock

.

I work in McDonald’s and a customer was rude to me today,

so I got him back by not putting any Coke in his drink.

Just ice was served.         

glass of ice cubes

.

Brian May is a slightly more optimistic version of Brian Cant.         

.

.

================================================

.

 

Anagrams

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

. 

I like anagrams. I think they can be quite clever and I enjoy both reading them and also making them too.

Other people believe that they have greater significance, revealing ‘hidden’ messages about the subject matter. That’s as maybe.

The best ones, however, are both amusing and should have some link to the source word or phrase.

Here is a short selection. Some of them may surprise you.

Enjoy.

 

 

‘Liposuction surgery’

Incurs lousy ego-trip

———————-

 

‘A Christmas Carol: The Movie’

Oh, a classic: heart-mover “Tim”

———————-

 

‘Charles Laughton’

An actor? He’ll gush!

———————-

 

‘Clint Eastwood’           

Old west action

———————-

 

‘Dolly Parton’

Top? Only lard

———————

 

‘How the West was won’           

What we shot we owns

———————

 

‘Lawrence of Arabia’

Albion warfare ace

———————

 

‘Plastic surgery’

Ugly star’s price

———————

 

‘breast implants’           

‘Men’s pal? Bra/tits.’

———————-

 

‘lee harvey oswald’

Reveal who slayed

———————-

 

‘hunchback of notre dam’

Fat, hunchbacked moron

———————-

 

‘world trade centre’

Lewd terror act end

———————-

 

‘weapons of mass destruction’

US team swoops. Finds no trace

———————-

 

‘microsoft windows xp’

Worm downs PC, so fix it!

———————-

 

‘microsoft operating systems’

Sorest gits scam money, profit

———————-

 

‘moral majority’ 

Trim amoral joy

———————-

 

‘homeland security’

Our decline’s a myth

———————-

 

‘first lady’

Idly farts

 

===========================