Whenever I Play A Battle Of Minds, I Plato Win….

”Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Once again the clue is in the title.

Another pun day.

The usual mixture of puns, word play and jokes of varying quality.

Enjoy!

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rofl

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What do you call a lion wearing a stylish hat?

A dandy lion.

Dandy_Lion_by_borogove13

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I just walked into my Sarcastics Anonymous club, five minutes late.

They said, “Oh, nice of you to join us.”

science-sarcasm-Professor-Frink-Comic-Book-Guy-631

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What are the chances of me coming up

with a pun about being overweight?

Slim.

weight pun

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I was minding my own business

when I thought to myself,

“Maybe becoming a self-employed security guard

wasn’t such a good idea.”

security guard cartoon from federatorblogs.com

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Mein Kampf.

Contains “Adolf humour”

mein kampf duckie

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I have discovered that if you rearrange the letters of:

“THE POST OFFICE”

…you severely piss off the mailmen.

angry mailman

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I’ve opened an online dating company

especially designed for deaf mutes.

It’s called ‘The Conversations Ltd.’

The Three Evils from grumpuoldeafies.com

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My girlfriend is temperamental.

That’s 50% temper and 50% mental.

angry_girl

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I have been working in a mirror factory for years now.

It’s what I’ve always seen myself doing.

mischa-richter-man-looking-in-mirror-and-saying-ha-and-in-the-mirror-is-the-reflection-new-yorker-cartoon

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Why do they take organs from pigs and give them to humans?

Because pigs can’t play organs.

the-future-of-lab-grown-organs

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Tom Cruise:

taking the art out of being a ‘bartender’

since 1988.

cruise cocktail

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It was a busy night at the Bulimic support clinic.

The place was heaving.

bulimia cartoon

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I have a contact lens problem.

I have no contact lens solution.

contacts

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What’s big, grey and doesn’t matter?

An Irr-elephant.

irrelephant_by_ricken4003-d5k2kvq

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The Beastie Boys are launching a new five-part fanzine,

documenting their rise to stardom.

Parts A to D will be freely available in the shops

for general purchase but, consistent with their band’s ethos,

you’ll have to fight for your right to Part E.

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Cheers! It’s The End For Cliff Clavin!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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I know Cliff Clavin, the Cheers character played by John Ratzenberger for many years, was only a pretend mailman but if Jeff Bezos gets his way – and he usually does – then mailmen will have a lot less to do.

Cliff_Clavin_in_Cheers

Cliff used to drone on in Cheers and bore everyone in the bar, but in the future jobs like his are to be taken over by drones.

The military applications are well known, but instead of delivering a few pounds of high explosives to an unsuspecting terrorist, drone technology, which was legalized for commercial use last year (2012), is being developed by Bezos and his team to deliver Amazon products by air right to your front door in about 30 minutes.

We’re entering the realms of science fiction here. And if it were anyone else but Bezos you might be forgiven for dismissing the idea. But he thinks big, and thanks to the success of Amazon he has the big bucks to make it happen.

Amazon Prime Air drone

If it is real and it does happen, personally I think its great! An application for this technology other than the usual powers-that-be crap of using it to kill and spy on us.

Amazon says that, “From a technology point of view, we’ll be ready to enter commercial operations as soon as the necessary regulations are in place.”

The Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) is working on rules for unmanned aerial vehicles. They’ll take their time as always, but eventually it will happen.

So in a few years time seeing Amazon drones in the air may well be as normal as seeing mail trucks on the road today.

Here’s a taste of the future for you.                                           

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