A Simile Is Like A Metaphor – Literally!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

I was going to introduce today’s post by saying some like “I hope you are having a pun-tastic week”, but I thought I would sound like a demented DJ from the 1970s.

So I’ll just say hello and welcome and let you get on with the puns.

Enjoy or endure!!

.

.

Lite:

the new way to spell “Light,”

now with 20% fewer letters!

.

.

I was asked to man the phones

at work the other day.

So I went round and drew a

little mustache on all of them.

 

.

.

Spelling…

It’s not brian surgery.

.

.

Hamlet:

A small pig.

.

.

According to my Spanish doctor

I have Hepatitis Yes

 

.

.

My doctor told me to quit my helium addiction

before I got carried away.

.

.

2B or not 2B?

I don’t think I’ve ever put this much thought

into which shade of pencil to use before.

.

.

‘UK Man has first hand transplant.’

Surely that’s a second hand transplant.

.

.

I was taking a short cut across a field the other day,

I was halfway across when the farmer approached me and said,

“Did you leave that small wooden step at the edge of my field?”

I replied, “No, it wasn’t me, that’s not my stile”

.

.

Someone told me if you

smack a fish before frying it,

the meat will taste fresher.

What a load of codswallop.

.

.

I’ve just accidentally superglued my fingers

to a copy of my autobiography.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

.

.

Me and my limbo dancing team

go way back

.

=======================

.

Did You Know – It’s Fasab’s February Facts

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

These facts aren’t particularly for February, it just sounded good for the title.

In fact they are just as random as ever so hopefully you may find something of interest.

Enjoy.

.

.

Saturday mail delivery in Canada was eliminated

by Canada Post on February 1, 1969!

.

.

Arnold Schwarzenegger was paid approximately $21,429

for every one of the 700 words he said in,

Terminator 2: Judgement Day.

.

.

In Tokyo, a bicycle is faster than a car for

most trips of less than 50 minutes!

.

.

In England, there is still a law on the books

requiring all men older than 14 years old to carry out

2 hours of longbow practice every day.

.

.

Star Wars was originally prefixed

by the definite article ‘The’.

.

.

In Germany, it is illegal to run out of gas

on an autobahn (highway).

.

.

In Australia, it’s illegal to name

any animal you plan to eat.

.

.

Your body is creating and killing 15 million

red blood cells per second!

.

.

The king of hearts is the only king without

a moustache on a standard playing card!

.

.

The Mona Lisa has no eyebrows.

It was the fashion in Renaissance Florence to shave them off!

(Bet you never noticed!)

.

.

Every day 20 banks are robbed.

The average take is $2,500!

.

.

Tablecloths were originally meant to be

served as towels with which dinner guests

could wipe their hands and faces after eating!

.

.

The names of Popeye’s four nephews are

Pipeye, Peepeye, Pupeye, and Poopeye!

.

.

Until the nineteenth century, solid blocks of tea

were used as money in Siberia!

.

.

There is a sound effect called the Wilhelm Scream

that has been used in over 200 movies and TV shows since 1951

.

.

=============================================

.