I. O. U. A. Vowel

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

If you add a couple of consonants to one of those vowels you get PUN, which is rather convenient because today is pun day.

You know what’s next.

Enjoy or endure!!

.

rofl

.

I really love my fanbase…

without it my fan would fall over.

fan with base

.

.

When people ask me

what my best quality is,

I always tell them my second best

quality is being mysterious.

mysterious

.

.

Communicating with Native Americans

… it’s easy when you know How.

Native Americans greeting

.

.

I don’t care what people say,

I’m a terrible psychiatrist.

I don't care cartoon

.

.

My friend was in a go kart race and

kept going even after all his wheels fell off.

It was a tireless effort

go kart race

.

.

I got so excited in French lessons that

sometimes “oui” would come out

cartoon excited

.

.

If you want to know how to see without glasses,

I’ve got some good contacts.

CONTACT-LENS-CASE-570

.

.

To all you letters that

want to be before

p in the alphabet,

join the q.

Q

.

.

Walk in fridges.

Pretty cool.

Walk-In-Fridge

.

.

Everybody has an ego,

mine is just bigger and  better.

ego_by_einstein

.

.

Trees can break wind

(and they’re not the only ones!)

tree windbreak

.

.

Four thieves were robbing a music

store when the cops turned up.

The first grabbed all the pop CDs and ran off.

The second grabbed the rock CDs and also ran off.

The third grabbed the Jazz and followed suit.

The fourth was forced to take the rap.

.

.

==============================

.

 

Did You Know? – Find Out The Latest Facts Here.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Yes, today is your chance to find out the latest crop of facts on the fasab blog.

As random as ever, I hope there will be at least a few of interest.

Enjoy.

.

did you know4

.

There is a $5 fine for anyone on staff at the

real Top Gun school who quotes the movie.

top gun

.

.

If you were to remove all of the empty space from the

atoms that make up every human on earth,

the entire world population could fit into an apple.

(Core blimey!)

apple

.

.

Highest human settlement, the mining town of 

La Rinconada Found in Peru,

is in the highest hospitable regions of the world.

Any higher and human’s would not be able to adapt.

La Rinconada Found

.

.

A New Orleans man hired a pirate to rescue

Napoleon from his prison on St. Helena.

a pirate

.

.

Arabic numerals (the ones used in English)

were not invented by the Arabs at all

– they were actually invented by Indian mathematicians.

text-arabic-numbers0-9

.

.

Sean Connery was offered up to 15% of

the Lord Of The Rings worldwide receipts to play Gandalf,

but he declined because he ‘didn’t understand the script’.

The decision cost him $400 million!

Gandalf

.

.

There are around 30 million accounts on Facebook

of people who have already died.

Facebook

.

.

In 1912, a Paris orphanage held a raffle to raise money

—the prizes were live babies.

Paris orphanage baby lottery

.

.

The only city whose name can be spelled completely with vowels

is Aiea, Hawaii, located approximately twelve miles west of Honolulu.

map_of_aiea_hi

.

.

The Statue of Liberty’s tablet is two feet thick.

(That one’s hard to swallow!)

Statue of Liberty's tablet

.

.

Mauna Kea, the volcano on Hawaii’s big island

is over twice as tall as Mount Everest

if measured from its base on the sea floor to its peak.

Mauna Kea

.

.

The chief translator for the European Parliament

is fluent in 32 languages.

chief translator for the European Parliament

.

.

At the start of World War I, the US Airforce

(then a component of the US army)

had only 18 pilots and 5 – 12 airplanes.

Nowadays they have a lot!

just some of the US Air force planes

.

.

Located in Canada, Mount Thor has a vertical drop of 1,250 meters

and despite its extremely remote location in the frozen tundra of

Canada’s northern provinces, it is a popular rock climbing destination.

Trepanier_MountThor87

.

.

Gary Numan is older than Gary Oldman

.

.

===================================================

.

Did You Know…. Another Twenty Fascinating Facts From Fasab’s Files

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Time for another selection of fascinating facts. How you use these is up to you, but some of them may well come in handy sometime.

Enjoy.

.

did you know

.

Every year Alaska has about 5,000 earthquakes,

1,000 of which measure above 3.5 on the Richter scale

 Alaska_earthquakes.

.

There are approximately 7,000 feathers on an eagle

– even a bald one!

bald_eagle

.

. 

The average person changes their career every 13 years

career change

.

The total mileage driven by all U-Haul trucks in a year

is enough to move a person from the Earth to the moon

five times a day for an entire year

U-Haul Truck

.

. 

Scientists with high-speed cameras have discovered

that rain drops are not tear shaped

but rather look like hamburger buns.

rain-drop-shape-diagram

.

. 

570 gallons of paint would be needed to paint the outside of the White House

– make that 570 gallons of white paint

Whitehouse South Facade

.

. 

Tiger Woods is the first athlete to has been named

“Sportsman of the Year”

by magazine Sports Illustrated two times

Tiger-Woods

.

. 

In 1996, toy company Mattel released a “Harley Davidson” Barbie.

This dolls distinctive feature is a birth mark on her face

that changes position with every new release of the doll

barbie_harley

.

. 

In the Sahara Desert there is a town named Tidikelt,

which did not receive a drop of rain for ten years

Tidikelt_map

.

. 

The most senior crayon maker Emerson Moser

retired after making 1.4 billion crayons for Crayola.

It was then that he revealed that he was actually colorblind

Emerson Moser

.

. 

There are mirrors on the moon.

Astronauts left them so that laser beams could be bounced off of them from Earth.

These beams help give us the distance to the moon give or take a few meters.

lunar mirror

.

. 

Tobacco kills more Americans each year

than alcohol, cocaine, crack, heroin, homicide,

suicide, car accidents, fire and AIDS combined

tobacco-kills-more-americans-each-year-than-alcohol

.

. 

The oldest bird on record was Cocky, a cockatoo, who lived in London Zoo.

He ceased being Cocky at the age of 82.

 Cockatoo_Moluccan

.

.

There were 13 couples celebrating their honeymoon on the Titanic

titanic

.

. 

In July 1874, a swarm of Rocky Mountain locusts flew over Nebraska

covering an area estimated at 198,600 square miles.

It is estimated that the swarm contained about 12.5 trillion insects.

These insects became extinct thirty years later

In-July-1874-2C-a-swarm-of-Rocky-Mountain-locusts-flew-over-Nebraska-covering-an-area-estimated-at-198-2C600-square-miles.-It-is-estimated-that-the-swarm-contained-about-12.5-trillion-insects

.

. 

Honorificabilitudinitatibus

is the longest English word that consists strictly

of alternating consonants and vowels

Honorificabilitudinitatibus

.

. 

In Haiti, only 1 out of every 200 people own a car which is ironic

considering approximately 33% of the country’s budget on imports

is spent on equipment for fuel and transportation.

streets-of-port-au-prince-port-au-prince-haiti

.

. 

The largest diamond found in the United States was a 40.23 carat white diamond.

It was found in 1924 at Murfreesboro, Arkansas at the Prairie Creek pipe mine,

which later became known as the Crater of Diamonds State Park.

The diamond was named “Uncle Sam” after the nickname of its finder,

Wesley Oley Basham, a worker at the Arkansas Diamond Corporation.

uncle sam diamond

.

. 

In 1903 Mary Anderson invented the windshield wipers

mary_anderson

.

. 

The song with the longest title is

“I’m a Cranky Old Yank in a Clanky Old Tank

on the Streets of Yokohama with my Honolulu Mama

Doin’ Those Beat-o, Beat-o Flat-On-My-Seat-o,

Hirohito Blues”

written by Hoagy Carmichael in 1945.

He later claimed the song title ended with ‘Yank’ and the rest was a joke


. 

===============================

 .

A Surprise Test – Are You Ready?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

 .

We haven’t had a test for a long time – until today, that is!!!

Below, for those brave enough to have a go, you will find twenty-one questions, some easy, some difficult, some tricky and some a bit of all three.

Enjoy and good luck!!!

(Answers are waaaaay below, but no cheating!)

 

 

1.  Is it possible for Jane to stand behind Lee and Lee to stand behind Jane at the same time?

 

2.  Leather shoes are worn in bowling and rubber-soled sneakers are worn in tennis. In what sport are all metal shoes worn?

 

3.  How many times can you subtract 2 from the number 21?

 calculator man

4.  On a farm outside of Winchester is the world’s most perfect peach tree. The main trunk has exactly 24 branches, each branch exactly 12 boughs, each bough exactly 6 twigs, and each twig bears 1 fruit. How many apples are on the tree?

 

5.  How close a relative would the sister-in-law of your father’s only brother be?

 

6.  On an average day, what mode of transportation carries more passengers than any other?

 

7.  Which book of the Bible tells you about Abel slaying Cain?

 Holy Bible

8.  How do you pronounce VOL IX?

 

9.  When someone says, “I’ll break every bone in your body,” how many bones would they have to break — 50, 200, 500, or 1,000?

cartoon skeleton 

10. There are 14 punctuation marks in ENGLISH grammar. How many can you name? (9 is passing grade)

 

11. What 5 letter word has 4 vowels and 1 consonant?   (Hint: The British use this word for line.) 

 

12. Can you make 10 plus 4 = 2 ?

 

13. The amount of water in a tank doubles every minute. The tank is full in an hour. When was the tank half full?

 

14. Would it be cheaper for you to take 1 friend to the movies twice or to take 2 friends at the same time?

 MovieTheater

15. A young boy comes from school. He lives in a high-rise building. Some days, he gets off the elevator at the eighth floor and walks up four flights to his family’s apartment on the 12th floor. On other days, he goes right up to the 12th floor. Why the difference?

 

16. A laborer can dig a hole 8 feet square and 8 feet deep in 8 days. How long will it take him to dig a hole 4 feet square and 4 feet deep?

 digging a hole

17. Rearrange the following letters to form one English word:   P N L L E E E E S S S S S

 

18. A clock loses 10 minutes each hour. If the clock is set correctly at noon, what time is it when it reads 3 PM?

 animated clock counting down hours over seconds

19. If 8 crows can steal 8 buttons in 8 minutes, how long will it take 16 crows to steal 16 buttons?

 

20. If 8 crows can steal 8 buttons in 8 minutes, how many buttons can 16 crows steal in 16 minutes?

 8 buttons

21. An electrician and a plumber were waiting in line for admission to the International Home Show. One of them was the father of the other’s son. How was this possible?

 

Answers waaaaaay below

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

ANSWERS

1.  Is it possible for Jane to stand behind Lee and Lee to stand behind Jane at the same time?

     Yes, if they stand back-to-back.

 

2.  Leather shoes are worn in bowling and rubber-soled sneakers are worn in tennis. In what sport are all metal shoes worn?

     Horse Racing.

 

3.  How many times can you subtract 2 from the number 21?

     Once. After that, you are subtracting from 19, 17, …

 

4.  On a farm outside of Winchester is the world’s most perfect peach tree. The main trunk has exactly 24 branches, each branch exactly 12 boughs, each bough exactly 6 twigs, and each twig bears 1 fruit. How many apples are on the tree?

None. It’s a peach tree, so it doesn’t bear apples.

 

5.  How close a relative would the sister-in-law of your father’s only brother be?

     Your mother.

 

6.  On an average day, what mode of transportation carries more passengers than any other?

     Elevators.

 

7.  Which book of the Bible tells you about Abel slaying Cain?

     None. Abel didn’t slay Cain?

 

8.  How do you pronounce VOL IX?

     Volume Nine.

 

9.  When someone says, “I’ll break every bone in your body,” how many bones would they have to break — 50, 200, 500, or 1,000?

     200.

 

10. There are 14 punctuation marks in ENGLISH grammar. How many can you name? (9 is passing grade)

     Period, comma, quotes, question mark, semicolon, colon, apostrophe, ellipses (…), dash, exclamation point, asterisk, braces, hyphen, brackets, parentheses. Actually, that is 15.

 

11. What 5 letter word has 4 vowels and 1 consonant?  (Hint: The British use this word for line.)

     QUEUE.   Queueing has five vowels in a row!

 

12.  Can you make 10 plus 4 = 2 ?

     10 o’clock + 4 hours = 2 o’clock. 

13. The amount of water in a tank doubles every minute. The tank is full in an hour. When was the tank half full?

     59 minutes.

 

14. Would it be cheaper for you to take 1 friend to the movies twice or to take 2 friends at the same time?

      Take 2 friends at the same time — you only have to buy 3 tickets. Taking them separately requires the purchase of 4 tickets.

 

15. A young boy comes from school. He lives in a high-rise building. Some days, he gets off the elevator at the eighth floor and walks up four flights to his family’s apartment on the 12th floor. On other days, he goes right up to the 12th floor. Why the difference?

     He is too short to reach button 12. Sometimes no one else is on the elevator.

 

16. A laborer can dig a hole 8 feet square and 8 feet deep in 8 days. How long will it take him to dig a hole 4 feet square and 4 feet deep?

     1 day. It is 1/8 the size of the large hole.

 

17.  Rearrange the following letters to form one English word:    P N L L E E E E S S S S S

     SLEEPLESSNESS.

 

18. A clock loses 10 minutes each hour. If the clock is set correctly at noon, what time is it when it reads 3 PM?

     3:36 PM. 
The clock loses 10 minutes each hour, so it loses 5 minutes every half-hour, and it loses 1 minute every 6 minutes.
It is 12:50 PM at 1:00 o’clock. 
It is 1:40 PM at 2:00 o’clock. 
It is 2:30 PM at 3:00 o’clock. 
It is 2:55 PM at 3:30 o’clock. 
It is 3:00 PM at 3:36 o’clock. 

 

19. If 8 crows can steal 8 buttons in 8 minutes, how long will it take 16 crows to steal 16 buttons?

     8 minutes.

 

20. If 8 crows can steal 8 buttons in 8 minutes, how many buttons can 16 crows steal in 16 minutes?

     32 buttons.

 

21. An electrician and a plumber were waiting in line for admission to the International Home Show. One of them was the father of the other’s son. How was this possible?

     They were husband and wife.

 

==============================