Whenever I Play A Battle Of Minds, I Plato Win….

”Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Once again the clue is in the title.

Another pun day.

The usual mixture of puns, word play and jokes of varying quality.

Enjoy!

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rofl

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What do you call a lion wearing a stylish hat?

A dandy lion.

Dandy_Lion_by_borogove13

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I just walked into my Sarcastics Anonymous club, five minutes late.

They said, “Oh, nice of you to join us.”

science-sarcasm-Professor-Frink-Comic-Book-Guy-631

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What are the chances of me coming up

with a pun about being overweight?

Slim.

weight pun

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I was minding my own business

when I thought to myself,

“Maybe becoming a self-employed security guard

wasn’t such a good idea.”

security guard cartoon from federatorblogs.com

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Mein Kampf.

Contains “Adolf humour”

mein kampf duckie

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I have discovered that if you rearrange the letters of:

“THE POST OFFICE”

…you severely piss off the mailmen.

angry mailman

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I’ve opened an online dating company

especially designed for deaf mutes.

It’s called ‘The Conversations Ltd.’

The Three Evils from grumpuoldeafies.com

.

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My girlfriend is temperamental.

That’s 50% temper and 50% mental.

angry_girl

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I have been working in a mirror factory for years now.

It’s what I’ve always seen myself doing.

mischa-richter-man-looking-in-mirror-and-saying-ha-and-in-the-mirror-is-the-reflection-new-yorker-cartoon

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Why do they take organs from pigs and give them to humans?

Because pigs can’t play organs.

the-future-of-lab-grown-organs

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Tom Cruise:

taking the art out of being a ‘bartender’

since 1988.

cruise cocktail

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It was a busy night at the Bulimic support clinic.

The place was heaving.

bulimia cartoon

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I have a contact lens problem.

I have no contact lens solution.

contacts

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What’s big, grey and doesn’t matter?

An Irr-elephant.

irrelephant_by_ricken4003-d5k2kvq

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The Beastie Boys are launching a new five-part fanzine,

documenting their rise to stardom.

Parts A to D will be freely available in the shops

for general purchase but, consistent with their band’s ethos,

you’ll have to fight for your right to Part E.

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4 thoughts on “Whenever I Play A Battle Of Minds, I Plato Win….

  1. I laughed out loud on the Beastie Boys “Part E.” Boy, those were the days…bringing me back in time!! Have a great weekend my friend.

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