I was going to introduce today’s post by saying some like “I hope you are having a pun-tastic week”, but I thought I would sound like a demented DJ from the 1970s.
So I’ll just say hello and welcome and let you get on with the puns.
Enjoy or endure!!
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Lite:
the new way to spell “Light,”
now with 20% fewer letters!
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I was asked to man the phones
at work the other day.
So I went round and drew a
little mustache on all of them.
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Spelling…
It’s not brian surgery.
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Hamlet:
A small pig.
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According to my Spanish doctor
I have Hepatitis Yes
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My doctor told me to quit my helium addiction
before I got carried away.
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2B or not 2B?
I don’t think I’ve ever put this much thought
into which shade of pencil to use before.
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‘UK Man has first hand transplant.’
Surely that’s a second hand transplant.
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I was taking a short cut across a field the other day,
I was halfway across when the farmer approached me and said,
“Did you leave that small wooden step at the edge of my field?”
I replied, “No, it wasn’t me, that’s not my stile”
Hello and welcome to another start of the week quiz.
Another very random selection of questions, but don’t let that discourage you, have a go!
As usual the answers are given waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below – but please, NO cheating.
Enjoy, and good luck.
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Q. 1: How many Dalmatians starred in the 1961 Disney movie?
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Q. 2: Where do they make California license plates?
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Q. 3: What is the collective term for a group of eggs, such as those found in a bird’s nest?
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Q. 4: Which famous lady edited Michael Jackson’s 1988 autobiography “Moonwalk”?
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Q. 5: What do they call G.I. Joe in the U.K.?
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Q. 6: What was US President Woodrow Wilson’s first name?
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Q. 7: In which American town or city was the TV series “Ironside” set?
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Q. 8: What is your “niddick”? (Yes, ladies you have one too.)
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Q. 9: In which movie, also starring Dustin Hoffman, did Sir Laurence Olivier play a Nazi war criminal named Dr. Christian Szell?
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Q. 10: What is the name for the metal band that joins the eraser to a pencil, or the metal band at the end of a cane?
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Q. 11: Name the only U.S. state that borders three different Canadian provinces.
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Q. 12: Who succeeded Nasser as President of Egypt and was later assassinated?
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Q. 13: Where did camels originate?
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Q. 14: What famous musical was set in Austria?
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Q. 15: What is the Scoville Heat Index and what is it used for?
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Q. 16: Who conquered Greece in 336 at the head of a vast Macedonian Army?
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Q. 17: Name the three lead stars in the movie “Some Like It Hot”.
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Q. 18: What was the first country to seek diplomatic relations with the United States.
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Q. 19: In which movies did Charlton Heston play the following roles?
a. George Taylor,
b. Moses,
c. Michelangelo,
d. General ‘Chinese’ Gordon,
e. Rodrigo Diaz de Vivar,
f. John the Baptist
(One point for each correct answer so your chance to earn six points here!)
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Q. 20: What was the only father-daughter collaboration to hit number one on the Billboard pop chart? (One point each for the names of the two artists and for the name of the song.
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ANSWERS
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Q. 1: How many Dalmatians starred in the 1961 Disney movie?
A. 1: 101
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Q. 2: Where do they make California license plates?
A. 2: All California license plates are made in prisons.
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Q. 3: What is the collective term for a group of eggs, such as those found in a bird’s nest?
A. 3: A group of eggs, such as those found in a bird’s nest, is known as a “clutch.”
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Q. 4: Which famous lady edited Michael Jackson’s 1988 autobiography “Moonwalk”?
A. 4: Michael Jackson’s 1988 autobiography Moonwalk was edited by Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis.
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Q. 5: What do they call G.I. Joe in the U.K.?
A. 5: G.I. Joe is called “Action Man” in the U.K.
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Q. 6: What was US President Woodrow Wilson’s first name?
A. 6: Woodrow Wilson’s first name was Thomas. Woodrow was actually his middle name.
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Q. 7: In which American town or city was the TV series “Ironside” set?
A. 7: San Francisco
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Q. 8: What is your “niddick”? (Yes, ladies you have one too.)
A. 8: “Niddick” is another name for the nape of your neck.
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Q. 9: In which movie, also starring Dustin Hoffman, did Sir Laurence Olivier play a Nazi war criminal named Dr. Christian Szell?
A. 9: Marathon Man.
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Q. 10: What is the name for the metal band that joins the eraser to a pencil, or the metal band at the end of a cane?
A. 10: The metal band that joins the eraser to a pencil and the metal band at the end of a cane is a called a “ferrule.”
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Q. 11: Name the only U.S. state that borders three different Canadian provinces.
A. 11: Montana is the only U.S. state that borders three different Canadian provinces (Alberta, British Columbia, and Saskatchewan).
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Q. 12: Who succeeded Nasser as President of Egypt and was later assassinated?
A. 12: Anwar Sadat.
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Q. 13: Where did camels originate?
A. 13: Camels actually originated in North America.
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Q. 14: What famous musical was set in Austria?
A. 14: The Sound Of Music.
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Q. 15: What is the Scoville Heat Index and what is it used for?
A. 15: The Scoville Heat Index is a scale for measuring the spiciness of food. The spiciest pepper has over 1,000,000 Scoville units.
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Q. 16: Who conquered Greece in 336 at the head of a vast Macedonian Army?
A. 16: Alexander The Great.
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Q. 17: Name the three lead stars in the movie “Some Like It Hot”.
A. 17: Jack Lemmon, Tony Curtis and Marilyn Monroe.
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Q. 18: What was the first country to seek diplomatic relations with the United States.
A. 18: In 1777, Morocco became the first country to seek diplomatic relations with the United States.
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Q. 19: In which movies did Charlton Heston play the following roles?
a. George Taylor,
b. Moses,
c. Michelangelo,
d. General ‘Chinese’ Gordon,
e. Rodrigo Diaz de Vivar,
f. John the Baptist
(One point for each correct answer so your chance to earn six points here!)
A. 19: Charlton Heston played
a. George Taylor in “Planet of the Apes (Beneath the Planet of the Apes)”
b. Moses in “The Ten Commandments”
c. Michelangelo in “The Agony and the Ecstasy”
d. General ‘Chinese’ Gordon in “Khartoum”
e. Rodrigo Diaz de Vivar in “El Cid”
f. John the Baptist in “The Greatest Story Ever Told”
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Q. 20: What was the only father-daughter collaboration to hit number one on the Billboard pop chart? (One point each for the names of the two artists and for the name of the song.)
A. 20: The only father-daughter collaboration to hit number one on the Billboard pop chart was “Something Stupid” by Frank & Nancy Sinatra in 1967.
I got an email recently from Paul Ryan (well, probably one of his little helpers) inviting me to some kind of election shin-dig they were having. How he got my email address I don’t know because I haven’t signed up for anything even resembling political.
Whoever wins, we get the same people really in charge. There can be no doubt about that after Obama’s four years of “no we can’t” and changing nothing of consequence.
And then there was the debate in Denver. By all accounts a win for Romney and a lackluster performance by Obama. A CBS News poll of “uncommitted voters”, gave Romney 46% as opposed to 22% for Obama (with 32% calling it a tie).
Not that performance in debates count for much in the long run, but this one has made an “unshakable” lead for Obama into a much closer competition – until the next debate anyway – which might turn what has been a relatively dull campaign into something more exciting. Don’t hold your breath, though.
Meantime we have much more important things to investigate and to lighten the mood.
Yes, from pundit to punday, another excuse for more bad jokes, using the clever ploy of the pun.
Can you take it?
If you can, then enjoy.
You feel stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.
Is the Local Area Network in Australia – the LAN down under?
Every calendar’s days are numbered.
A lot of money is tainted – taint yours and taint mine.
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
Are Santa’s helpers subordinate clauses?
Acupuncture is a jab well done.
Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I’ll show you A-flat minor.
Seven days without a pun makes one weak.
When the actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she’d dye.
When a scientist was doing a large experiment with liquid chemicals to try to solve a problem he accidentally fell in and became part of the solution.
If you leave alphabet soup on the stove and go out, could it spell disaster?
After they bought a water bed, the couple started to drift apart.
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
The best way to communicate with a fish is to drop them a line.
Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.
Rabbits like their beer brewed with a lot of hops.
Once you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.
fasab 