A Simile Is Like A Metaphor – Literally!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

I was going to introduce today’s post by saying some like “I hope you are having a pun-tastic week”, but I thought I would sound like a demented DJ from the 1970s.

So I’ll just say hello and welcome and let you get on with the puns.

Enjoy or endure!!

.

rofl

.

Lite:

the new way to spell “Light,”

now with 20% fewer letters!

Lite

.

.

I was asked to man the phones

at work the other day.

So I went round and drew a

little mustache on all of them.

phone with moustache

 

.

.

Spelling…

It’s not brian surgery.

medical_brain-surgery

.

.

Hamlet:

A small pig.

small pig with guitar

.

.

According to my Spanish doctor

I have Hepatitis Yes

si

 

.

.

My doctor told me to quit my helium addiction

before I got carried away.

helium addiction

.

.

2B or not 2B?

I don’t think I’ve ever put this much thought

into which shade of pencil to use before.

2b or not 2b [encils

.

.

‘UK Man has first hand transplant.’

Surely that’s a second hand transplant.

hand transplant

.

.

I was taking a short cut across a field the other day,

I was halfway across when the farmer approached me and said,

“Did you leave that small wooden step at the edge of my field?”

I replied, “No, it wasn’t me, that’s not my stile”

stile

.

.

Someone told me if you

smack a fish before frying it,

the meat will taste fresher.

What a load of codswallop.

cod

.

.

I’ve just accidentally superglued my fingers

to a copy of my autobiography.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

super glue

.

.

Me and my limbo dancing team

go way back

limbo dancing

.

=======================

.

What A Way To Start The Week – A Test!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

What better way to start the week than with a surprise test?

Some of these are easy and some of them difficult. But as usual all that depends on whether or not you know the answers.

You can check how you did by looking at the answers waaaaaaay down below as usual, BUT no cheating!

Here we go…

.

Quiz 5

.

Q 1:  Who was the first American astronaut in space?

.

.

Q 2:  What is the only living tissue in the human body that does not contain any blood vessels?

.

.

Q 3:  What was the first U.S. city to host the summer Olympics in 1904?

.

.

Q 4:  The sport of surfing originated in which US State?

.

.

Q 5:  Who led the famous revolt of the Roman slaves and gladiators in 73 B.C

.

.

Q 6:  Where is the “Fat Tuesday” fesival celebrated every year?

.

.

Q 7:  In 1867 the U.S. paid Russia $7.2 million. What for?

.

.

Q 8:  Who was the only unmarried president of the United States?

.

.

Q 9:  What was the first US State to give women the right to vote?

.

.

Q 10:  What was the first British ship to use the SOS distress signal?

.

.

Q 11:  In a pack of playing cards which is the only king without a mustache?

.

.

Q 12:  The last land battle of the U.S. Civil War was fought in which US State?

.

.

Q 13:  What is the national sport of Japan?

.

.

Q 14:  What country is made up of 13,667 islands?

.

.

Q 15:  One of the famous Disney Theme Parks is called EPCOT. But what do the letters E-P-C-O-T stand for?

.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

ANSWERS

.

Q 1:  Who was the first American astronaut in space?

A 1:  Alan B. Shepard Jr

.

.

Q 2:  What is the only living tissue in the human body that does not contain any blood vessels?

A 2:  The cornea

.

.

Q 3:  What was the first U.S. city to host the summer Olympics in 1904?

A 3:  St. Louis, Missouri

.

.

Q 4:  The sport of surfing originated in which US State?

A 4:  Hawaii

.

.

Q 5:  Who led the famous revolt of the Roman slaves and gladiators in 73 B.C

A 5:  Spartacus

.

.

Q 6:  Where is the “Fat Tuesday” fesival celebrated every year?

A 6:  New Orleans, Louisiana it is better known as Mardi Gras

.

.

Q 7:  In 1867 the U.S. paid Russia $7.2 million. What for?

A 7:  For Alaska

.

.

Q 8:  Who was the only unmarried president of the United States?

A 8:  James Buchanan

.

.

Q 9:  What was the first US State to give women the right to vote?

A 9:  Wyoming

.

.

Q 10:  What was the first British ship to use the SOS distress signal?

A 10:  The Titanic

.

.

Q 11:  In a pack of playing cards which is the only king without a mustache?

A 11:  The king of hearts

.

.

Q 12:  The last land battle of the U.S. Civil War was fought in which US State?

A 12:  Texas

.

.

Q 13:  What is the national sport of Japan?

A 13:  Sumo wrestling

.

.

Q 14:  What country is made up of 13,667 islands?

A 14:  Indonesia

.

.

Q 15:  One of the famous Disney Theme Parks is called EPCOT. But what do the letters E-P-C-O-T stand for?

A 15:  EPCOT stands for “Experimental Prototype City Of Tomorrow.”

.

========================

.