Warning: Read Carefully, More Stupid Signs Ahead!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Heed the warning in the title, another selection of warning signs written for the chronically stupid follows.

That these have to be written is a tragedy in itself. That most of them seem to be written by they very people they are aimed at is one of those mysteries that may take years to solve.

In the meantime, enjoy.

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pointing left keep right sign

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“Malfunction: Too less water.”

A notice left on a coffee machine.

 malfunction

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“Prescriptions cannot be filled by phone.”

On a form in a clinic.

 phone

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“You could be a winner!

No purchase necessary.

Details inside.”

On a bag of Fritos.

 bag of Fritos

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“Fits one head.”

On a hotel-provided shower cap box.

 shower cap box

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“Payment is due by the due date.”

On a credit card statement.

 credit card statement

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“No small children.”

On a laundromat triple washer.

 laundromat triple washer

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“Warning: Ramp Ends In Stairs.”

A sign, correctly describing the end of a

concrete ramp intended for handicap access to a bridge.

 Warning Ramp Ends In Stairs

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“Take care: new non-slip surface.”

On a sign in front of a newly renovated ramp

that led to the entrance of a building.

 Take care new non-slip surface

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“In case of flood, proceed uphill.

In case of flash flood, proceed uphill quickly.”

One of the emergency safety procedures at a summer camp.

 summer camp

.

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“Ingredients: Artificially bleached flour, sugar,

vegetable fat, yeast, salt, gluten, soya flour,

emulsifier 472 (E) & 481, flour treatment agents,

enzymes, water.

May contain ……….fruit.”

The ingredients list on a package of fruit buns.

 package of fruit buns

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“100% pure yarn.”

On a sweater.

 sweater

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“Some materials may irritate sensitive skin.

Please look at the materials if you believe this may be the case.

Materials:

Covering: 100% Unknown.

Stuffing: 100% Unknown.”

On a pillow.

pillow

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Warning: Stupidity Ahead!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Take heed of that warning in the title.

There is stupidity ahead and lots of it.

The stupid signs by stupid people for stupid people continues.

Enjoy (and maybe cringe a little).

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may contain nuts

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“May be harmful if swallowed.”

On a shipment of hammers.

 shipment of hammers

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“Using Ingenio cookware to destroy your

old pots may void your warranty.”

A printed message that appears in a television

advertisement when the presenter demonstrates

how strong the cookware is by using it to

beat up and destroy a regular frying pan.

 Ingenio cookware

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“Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand.”

In the manual for a Swedish chainsaw.

 Swedish chainsaw

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“Do not dangle the mouse by its cable

or throw the mouse at co-workers.”

 ……from a manual for an SGI computer.

 cat and mouse

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“Warning: May contain nuts.”

On a package of peanuts.

 may contain nuts 2

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“Do not eat.”

On a slip of paper in a stereo box,

referring to the styrofoam packing.

(Maybe this one is not so daft, I once

saw someone trying to eat this stuff!)

 styrofoam

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“Do not eat if seal is missing.”

On said seal.

 Do not eat if seal is missing

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“Access hole only —

not intended for use in lifting box.”

On the sides of a shipping carton,

just above cut-out openings which one

would assume were handholds.

 box with hand holes

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“Warning: May cause drowsiness.”

On a bottle of Nytol, a brand of sleeping pills.

 Nytol

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“Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death.”

Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle.

 .22 calibre rifle

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“Do not use orally after using rectally.”

In the instructions for an electric thermometer.

 electric thermometer

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“Turn off motor before using this product.”

On the packaging for a chain saw file,

used to sharpen the cutting teeth on the chain.

 chain saw file

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Pandering To The Stupidest – The Warning Signs Continue.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Pandering to the stupidest people in society has become the norm.

All that does is drag everyone closer to their level of stupidity, but apparently the equally stupid people in charge think that’s the way it has to be.

They’ve even managed to get stupid people to write the stupid signs for the other stupid people.

Sound like a conspiracy to me, except they’re not smart enough for that.

Anyway, enough of my rant.

Just enjoy.

no stupid people beyond this point

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“Do not iron clothes on body.”

On packaging for a Rowenta iron.

 Rowenta iron

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“Do not drive car or operate machinery.”

On Boot’s children’s cough medicine.

 Boot's children's cough medicine

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“For indoor or outdoor use only.”

On a string of Christmas lights.

 string of Christmas lights

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“Wearing of this garment

does not enable you to fly.”

On a child sized Superman costume.

 child sized Superman costume

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“This door is alarmed from 7:00pm – 7:00am.”

On a hospital’s outside access door.

 hospital's outside access door

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“Beware!

To touch these wires is instant death.

Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted.”

On a sign at a railroad station.

 To touch these wires is instant death

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“Warning:

do not use if you have prostate problems.”

On a box of Midol PMS relief tablets.

 Midol PMS relief tablets

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“Product will be hot after heating.”

On a supermarket dessert box.

 supermarket dessert box

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“Do not turn upside down.”

On the bottom of a supermarket dessert box.

 Do not turn upside down

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“Do not light in face.

Do not expose to flame.”

On a lighter.

 a lighter

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“Choking hazard:

This toy is a small ball.”

On the label for a cheap rubber ball toy.

 cheap rubber ball toy

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“Not for human consumption.”

On a package of dice.

package of dice

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