Cole’s Law: Thinly sliced cabbage.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

In case the title didn’t give it away, today is pun day!

Hurrah and enjoy!!

But first a quick medical alert….

.

.

Medical Alert:

When you play golf iron deficiencies

can lead to a risk of increased strokes.

.

.

I woke up this morning and forgot which side the sun rises from.

Then it dawned on me.

.

.

I was devastated when my girlfriend left me for a dwarf.

I never thought she would stoop so low

.

.

“I only have diamonds, clubs and spades,”

said Tom heartlessly

.

.

Ever wonder why the person who invented the door knocker

wasn’t awarded a No-bell prize.

.

.

I walked down a street where the houses were numbered

64K, 128K, 256K, 512K and 1MB.

That was a trip down memory lane.

.

.

If anyone ever says to you that they’ve lost their voice,

They’re lying.

.

.

Tires are fixed for a flat rate.

.

.

If you suffer from kleptomania,

should you take something for it?

.

.

I’ve taken up a part time course in counterfeiting.

I’m forging ahead.

.

.

I broke up with my girlfriend last night.

It happened on the forecourt of a gas station.

Very emotional breakup.

She was in tears and I was filling up….

.

.

The latest market research shows a growing trend

for eating high-fibre cereal for breakfast,

with the result that people are experiencing

greater regularity in their bowel movements.

With trends like that,

who needs enemas?

.

.

Did you hear about the bird that sat on an axe?

It was trying to hatchet

.

.

A boy came into the house with a sofa on his back.

His mother said,

“How many times have I told you not to accept suites from strangers!?”

.

.

I was watching a tv program about the people in Holland who make their traditional clogs?

I thought, I’d like to try that

Wooden shoe?

.

.

A fishing boat is working the North Sea, when suddenly it starts shipping water.

It puts out a Mayday message:

“Help! Help! We are sinking!”

A few minutes back the reply comes through:

“Zis is ze German coastguard. Vot are you sinking about?”

.

.

.

I’ve eaten steak tartar,

but only on rare occasions

.

.

un oeuf is enough as they say in France!

.

.

My laptop is broken.

It just keeps playing “Skyfall” over and over again.

Probably because it’s a Dell.

.

.

================================

.

Is Your Glass Half Full, Or Half Empty?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

“Some people see the glass half full.

Others see it half empty.

I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.”

George Carlin

 

Just a short post today, but it covers a big philosophical question.

How do you look at things in life?

Is your glass always half full or half empty?

The Australian airline Quantas has never had a major accident. Does this mean that you have confidence that it is the safest airline in the world? Or does it make you think that maybe the odds are that it’s due for an accident?

If you’re playing the tables in Vegas or Atlantic City or somewhere, does the fact that you’ve lost the last ten hands make you think that your luck is out for the night and you leave. Or do you think the laws of probability mean your luck must be due to change shortly and you hang in there?

There’s no right or wrong answers here. It just depends on what type of person you are.

People who are naturally in the glass half empty category tend to be the ones who play it safe. Work for someone else, are content with a lesser but safer position, don’t over extend themselves financially, etc. For that type of person such decisions make for a much happier and contented life.

Other people, me for example, are more in the glass half full category. More prone to taking risks, trying new things (like blogging even!), and starting their own businesses. That can bring great rewards, but it can cause more than a little turmoil financially and otherwise in your life too, particularly in the economic times we are currently living through. The safe option it is not!

It takes both types to make the world go round and both are equally important.

There’s no point in starting your own business if there’s no one willing to be employed; and there’s no point in looking for a job if there’s no one willing to take the risk and start a business (they all had to start somewhere, even the giant multi nationals).

So what’s the best? It depends on you.

What’s right? Again, it depends on you.

Just don’t waste your time with the stupid pursuit of wondering if the grass is greener somewhere else if you don’t have the courage to go and find out.

Whatever way suits you at least be content with your decision.

That my friends is the simplest secret to enjoying your life.

(According to me anyhow!)

Here’s a video.

Enjoy!