Have You Noticed, Winzip Files Are Becoming Rar These Days.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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A little nerdy pun in the title to set the tone for today, because it’s another Pun Day.

Some more plays on words, which you will either….

Enjoy or endure!

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I was thinking of getting a tattoo on my palm

On the other hand I might not bother.

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I’m giving away a free gate.

Honestly, there’s no catch.

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A Rastafarian just gave my friend a haircut.

He looks dreadful.

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Just been thinking, Hooters should do a home delivery service.

They could call it Knockers.

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Whenever anybody asks what I do.

I tell them I’m a Thai boxer, to make myself sound hard.

Sounds better than telling them

I pack men’s neckwear in a warehouse.

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I find it difficult to count in

Roman numerals until the number 159.

Then it just CLIX.

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If you’d like to know more about bulimia,

just do a Google search and see what it throws up.

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I used to live in a tire, but it got a puncture.

Now I just live in a flat.

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Statistically speaking,

the word “duck” is 75% obscene.

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To those men who whinge and whine

saying it’s too hard to cultivate apples,

I say, “Grow a pear.”

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I want to thank my friend, who looked up

“Agglomeration” for me in the dictionary.

It means a lot.

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Do you think that a Clairvoyants meeting has

ever been cancelled due to unforeseen events.

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I’ve written a book about

an Apartment block for Midgets.

It’s a collection of short storeys.

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My Korean friend died last week.

So Yung…

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Apparently Matt Damon believes in two things:

Sequels, and reincarnation.

Basically, he thinks he’ll be Bourne again.

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It’s The Jokes You Love To Hate!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
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What better way to begin November than with another selection of those jokes that we just love to hate?

Okay,okay, I’m sure there are a lot better ways, but these will have to do for now.

Enjoy!

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I used to do rock climbing as a youth, but I was much boulder back then.

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He said I was average – but I thought he was just being mean.

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It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.

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When the cannibal showed up late to the luncheon, they gave him the cold shoulder.

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What is the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle?

A tire.

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I should have been sad when my flashlight batteries died, but I was delighted.

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I get my large circumference from too much pi.

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Alcohol and calculus don’t mix so don’t drink and derive.

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It’s better to love a short girl than not a tall.

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Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring.
The doctor says I’m OK, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.

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When the TV repairman got married the reception was excellent.

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A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was ticketed for littering.

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Is a cardboard belt just a waist of paper?

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A friend told me he dug a hole in my backyard and filled it with water.
I thought he meant well.

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The little old woman who lived in a shoe wasn’t the sole owner
– there were strings attached.

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Math teachers have lots of problems.

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I was going to buy a book on phobias, but I was afraid it wouldn’t help me.

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For a while, Houdini used a lot of trap doors in his act,
but he was just going through a stage.

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He didn’t tell his mother that he ate some glue.
His lips were sealed.

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It’s a fact, taller people sleep longer in bed.

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