Why Is Luke Always Warm?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

I hope you are keeping warm too.

Warm enough to Luke at a few more word plays because it’s Pun Day again.

You know what’s next…

Enjoy or endure!.

.

.

Just been to Greenwich in London.

Had a mean time.

.

.

There’s something I don’t like

about using touch screen technology

I just can’t put my finger on it.

.

.

I’ve just been offered

a free sky diving experience.

I’m not falling for it.

.

.

‘It’s the quiet ones that you’ve got to watch’

Especially at mime shows.

.

.

My new bulimia charity campaign

has been quite successful.

I’ve received a lot of feedback.

.

.

What do you call

an Indian in a cupboard?

A hiding Sikh.

.

.

What is a cocaine addicts

favorite type of joke?

A one liner

.

.

Shotgun wedding:

A case of wife or death.

.

.

A French man walks in to a chiropodists and says

“I’ve got problems with defeat”

.

.

I’ve started dating couches,

but I’ve had no luck sofa.

.

.

It’s hard to say what my sister does,

working for a travel agency.

She sells Seychelles overseas tours.

.

.

I always get back on my bike when I fall off.

I’m a firm believer in recycling.

.

.

My friend, Angus finds it funny

not to pronounce the letter ‘g’.

Bit of an asshole really.

.

.

I had a dream last night that

our local Market had shrunk.

I woke up and thought,

“That’s a little Bazaar.”

.

.

I just came back from a Blur concert.

I didn’t see much.

.

.

==============================================

.

Have You Noticed, Winzip Files Are Becoming Rar These Days.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

A little nerdy pun in the title to set the tone for today, because it’s another Pun Day.

Some more plays on words, which you will either….

Enjoy or endure!

.

.

I was thinking of getting a tattoo on my palm

On the other hand I might not bother.

.

.

I’m giving away a free gate.

Honestly, there’s no catch.

.

.

A Rastafarian just gave my friend a haircut.

He looks dreadful.

.

.

Just been thinking, Hooters should do a home delivery service.

They could call it Knockers.

.

.

Whenever anybody asks what I do.

I tell them I’m a Thai boxer, to make myself sound hard.

Sounds better than telling them

I pack men’s neckwear in a warehouse.

.

.

I find it difficult to count in

Roman numerals until the number 159.

Then it just CLIX.

.

.

If you’d like to know more about bulimia,

just do a Google search and see what it throws up.

.

.

I used to live in a tire, but it got a puncture.

Now I just live in a flat.

.

.

Statistically speaking,

the word “duck” is 75% obscene.

.

.

To those men who whinge and whine

saying it’s too hard to cultivate apples,

I say, “Grow a pear.”

.

.

I want to thank my friend, who looked up

“Agglomeration” for me in the dictionary.

It means a lot.

.

.

Do you think that a Clairvoyants meeting has

ever been cancelled due to unforeseen events.

.

.

I’ve written a book about

an Apartment block for Midgets.

It’s a collection of short storeys.

.

.

My Korean friend died last week.

So Yung…

.

.

Apparently Matt Damon believes in two things:

Sequels, and reincarnation.

Basically, he thinks he’ll be Bourne again.

.

.

==============================================

.