Check This One Out: 1

 “Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Once again the clue to today’s post was in the title.

And since you checked the one in the title out why not check the rest of them out too.

Here is the latest selection of puns for you to endure or hopefully, enjoy.

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Tell you what floats my boat.

Water.

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What do houseflies and Mac users have in common?

Neither of them understand how Windows work.

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Is it true that an apple a day keeps the doctor away…

or is it just one of Granny’s myths?

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I for one…

…but that’s Roman numerals for you.

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I knew a guy who fell into an industrial grinding machine.

He’s fine now.

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I have no beef with vegetarians.

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I slipped on some dog s**t the other day.

It didn’t suit me though.

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I hate it how people keep texting me “k”.

I am very rarely in the mood to talk about potassium.

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I bought some biscuits yesterday, on the packet it said,

“Store in a cool place.”

So I mailed them to Samuel L. Jackson’s house.

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When I was a kid people used to cover me

in cream and put a cherry on my head,

it was tough being brought up in the gateau.    

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I bought a CD which was just the sound of water flowing.

I didn’t like it though, it was too main-stream.

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A bartender drowned in a tidal wave of tonic water after a case exploded,

he was schwepped away.

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There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. 

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Ten words, two commas, an exclamation mark

and a period all appeared in court yesterday…

They’re due to be sentenced next week.

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The other day, an attendant stopped me in a hospital car park to tell me,

“You can’t park here. It’s badge holders only.”

I replied, “But I have got a bad shoulder.”

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Do you think “Gone With The Wind”

started out as just a draft?

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I was pulled over by the police today.

“How fast do you think you were going, sir?”

“60mph?” I asked.

“Try 135,” the officer replied.

So I shut the door and drove as fast as I could.

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The French are concerned that 77% of their electricity comes from nuclear power.

I think they should stop over-reacting.

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I’m scared of trampolines.

They make me jump.

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At last I’ve found out the reason that women ask so many questions.

Apparently they have an extra why chromosome.

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Another Bunch Of Interesting Things You Probably Never Thought About – Until Now!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”.

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As the title says, another  list of interesting bits and pieces that you may not have though about until now.

Feel free to whip them out and impress people if and when the occasion arises.

Enjoy.

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The tip of a bullwhip moves so fast that the sound it makes is actually a tiny sonic boom.

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Only 1 in 2,000,000,000 people will live to be 116 or old.

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Dogs and humans are the only species that have prostates.

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The zebra is basically a light-colored animal with black stripes.

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Natural pearls melt in Vinegar.

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The greatest weight lifted with a human tongue is 12.5 kg (27 lb 8.96 oz)

by Thomas Blackthorne (UK)

who lifted the weight hooked through his tongue

on the set of El Show Olímpico, in Mexico City, Mexico, on 1 August 2008.

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Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.

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Americans are responsible for about 1/5 of the world’s garbage annually

(and 2/3 of it is from Washington).

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The dot over the letter “i” is called a tittle.

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There are 318,979,564,000 possible combinations of the first four moves in Chess.

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The first CD pressed in the US was Bruce Springsteen’s “Born in the USA”.

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IBM’s motto is “Think”.

Apple later made their motto “Think different”.

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The Michelin man is known as Mr. Bib.

His name was Bibendum in the company’s first ads in 1896.

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There are more types of insects in one tropical rain forest tree

than there are in the entire state of Vermont.

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An ostrich’s eye might not be bigger than its belly,

but it is bigger than its brain.

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Earth is the only planet in our solar system not named after a god;

it was named by God.

Genesis 1 King James Version (KJV)

In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.

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