Have You Noticed, Winzip Files Are Becoming Rar These Days.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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A little nerdy pun in the title to set the tone for today, because it’s another Pun Day.

Some more plays on words, which you will either….

Enjoy or endure!

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rofl

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I was thinking of getting a tattoo on my palm

On the other hand I might not bother.

tattoo on my palm

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I’m giving away a free gate.

Honestly, there’s no catch.

gate

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A Rastafarian just gave my friend a haircut.

He looks dreadful.

Rastafarian

.

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Just been thinking, Hooters should do a home delivery service.

They could call it Knockers.

Hooters

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Whenever anybody asks what I do.

I tell them I’m a Thai boxer, to make myself sound hard.

Sounds better than telling them

I pack men’s neckwear in a warehouse.

muay_thai_boxers

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I find it difficult to count in

Roman numerals until the number 159.

Then it just CLIX.

CLIX

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If you’d like to know more about bulimia,

just do a Google search and see what it throws up.

bulimia

.

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I used to live in a tire, but it got a puncture.

Now I just live in a flat.

flat tire

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Statistically speaking,

the word “duck” is 75% obscene.

duck

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To those men who whinge and whine

saying it’s too hard to cultivate apples,

I say, “Grow a pear.”

pear

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I want to thank my friend, who looked up

“Agglomeration” for me in the dictionary.

It means a lot.

agglomeration

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Do you think that a Clairvoyants meeting has

ever been cancelled due to unforeseen events.

Clairvoyant

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I’ve written a book about

an Apartment block for Midgets.

It’s a collection of short storeys.

Lego Apartment block

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My Korean friend died last week.

So Yung…

Korean flag

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Apparently Matt Damon believes in two things:

Sequels, and reincarnation.

Basically, he thinks he’ll be Bourne again.

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