Have You Noticed, Winzip Files Are Becoming Rar These Days.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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A little nerdy pun in the title to set the tone for today, because it’s another Pun Day.

Some more plays on words, which you will either….

Enjoy or endure!

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rofl

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I was thinking of getting a tattoo on my palm

On the other hand I might not bother.

tattoo on my palm

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I’m giving away a free gate.

Honestly, there’s no catch.

gate

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A Rastafarian just gave my friend a haircut.

He looks dreadful.

Rastafarian

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Just been thinking, Hooters should do a home delivery service.

They could call it Knockers.

Hooters

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Whenever anybody asks what I do.

I tell them I’m a Thai boxer, to make myself sound hard.

Sounds better than telling them

I pack men’s neckwear in a warehouse.

muay_thai_boxers

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I find it difficult to count in

Roman numerals until the number 159.

Then it just CLIX.

CLIX

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If you’d like to know more about bulimia,

just do a Google search and see what it throws up.

bulimia

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I used to live in a tire, but it got a puncture.

Now I just live in a flat.

flat tire

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Statistically speaking,

the word “duck” is 75% obscene.

duck

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To those men who whinge and whine

saying it’s too hard to cultivate apples,

I say, “Grow a pear.”

pear

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I want to thank my friend, who looked up

“Agglomeration” for me in the dictionary.

It means a lot.

agglomeration

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Do you think that a Clairvoyants meeting has

ever been cancelled due to unforeseen events.

Clairvoyant

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I’ve written a book about

an Apartment block for Midgets.

It’s a collection of short storeys.

Lego Apartment block

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My Korean friend died last week.

So Yung…

Korean flag

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Apparently Matt Damon believes in two things:

Sequels, and reincarnation.

Basically, he thinks he’ll be Bourne again.

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This week’s Quiz. Are You Ready?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes, time for this week’s quiz.

I hope you are ready, although I have included a lot of multiple choice questions this time so it may be a little easier – but only if you choose the right answer!

As always the answers can be found waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below if you get stuck – but NO cheating please.

Enjoy, and good luck.

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Quiz 07

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Q.  1: Which of these spoons is the largest?

            a) dessertspoon     b) tablespoon    c) teaspoon

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Q.  2:  In what movie does Julia Roberts play a character pretending to be the actress Julia Roberts?

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Q.  3:  In 2004, which country became the first in Europe to impose a total ban on smoking in all workplaces?

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Q.  4:  What was the occupation of Alfred Southwick, whose 1881 idea led to the invention of the electric chair?

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Q.  5:  In 1999, which country became the last in the world to grant its citizens access to television?

            a) Bhutan      b) Brunei      c) Bahrain      d) China

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Q.  6:  What card game has a name that also means ‘a short sleep’?

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Q.  7:  A ‘Topping Out’ ceremony marks the completion of what?

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Q.  8:  Which of these animals is NOT a crustacean?

            a) Crab      b) Oyster      c) Lobster

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Q.  9:  In the film ‘The Spy Who Loved Me’, James Bond travels underwater in what make of car?

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Q. 10:  In Greek mythology what was Charybdis?

            a) A ‘Gate’        b) A ‘Kingdom’       c) A ‘God’       d) A ‘Whirlpool’

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Q. 11:  In banking the term ‘SWIFT’ is used in wire transfers, but what do the letters ‘S W I F T’ stand for?

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Q. 12:  Famous for cotton, in what country are the Sea Islands?

            a) Australia        b) India        c) United States        d) Columbia

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Q. 13:  Which of these animals feature in the Chinese astrological calendar?

            a) Elk      b) Ox       c) Yak

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Q. 14:  What is former US Secretary of State Henry Kissinger supposed to have called “the ultimate aphrodisiac”?

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Q. 15:  In 1352, Tommaso da Modena painted what is believed to be the first portrait of someone wearing what?

            a) dentures         b) spectacles         c) wooden leg

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Q. 16:  In the movie ‘Good Will Hunting’ Matt Damon plays a character with a special ability for what subject?

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Q. 17:  The British 7th Armoured Division got which nickname during their African campaign in WWII?

            a) jungle tigers      b) desert rats       c) mountain foxes

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Q. 18:  In the 2012 Summer Olympic games competitors took part in how many sports?

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Q. 19:  Martin Landau won the Best Supporting Actor Oscar for playing which horror movie star in the movie ‘Ed Wood’?

            a) Bela Lugosi     b) Lon Chaney, Jr.     C) Boris Karloff

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Q. 20:  Which female singer/songwriter wants to, according to the title of one of her singles, ‘Soak Up The Sun’?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1: Which of these spoons is the largest?

            a) dessertspoon     b) tablespoon    c) teaspoon

A.  1:  b) tablespoon.

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Q.  2:  In what movie does Julia Roberts play a character pretending to be the actress Julia Roberts?

A.  2:  Ocean’s Twelve.

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Q.  3:  In 2004, which country became the first in Europe to impose a total ban on smoking in all workplaces?

A.  3:  Ireland.

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Q.  4:  What was the occupation of Alfred Southwick, whose 1881 idea led to the invention of the electric chair?

A.  4:  Dentist.

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Q.  5:  In 1999, which country became the last in the world to grant its citizens access to television?

            a) Bhutan      b) Brunei      c) Bahrain      d) China

A.  5:  a) Bhutan. 

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Q.  6:  What card game has a name that also means ‘a short sleep’?

A.  6:  Nap.

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Q.  7:  A ‘Topping Out’ ceremony marks the completion of what?

A.  7:  A building.

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Q.  8:  Which of these animals is NOT a crustacean?

            a) Crab      b) Oyster      c) Lobster

A.  8:  b) Oyster

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Q.  9:  In the film ‘The Spy Who Loved Me’, James Bond travels underwater in what make of car?

A.  9:  Lotus Esprit.

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Q. 10:  In Greek mythology what was Charybdis?

            a) A ‘Gate’        b) A ‘Kingdom’       c) A ‘God’       d) A ‘Whirlpool’

A. 10:  d) A Whirlpool

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Q. 11:  In banking the term ‘SWIFT’ is used in wire transfers, but what do the letters ‘S W I F T’ stand for?

A. 11:  Society of Worldwide Interbank Financial Communication.

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Q. 12:  Famous for cotton, in what country are the Sea Islands?

            a) Australia        b) India        c) United States        d) Columbia

A. 12:  c) United States.

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Q. 13:  Which of these animals feature in the Chinese astrological calendar?

            a) Elk      b) Ox       c) Yak

A. 13:  b) Ox

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Q. 14:  What is former US Secretary of State Henry Kissinger supposed to have called “the ultimate aphrodisiac”?

A. 14:  Power.

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Q. 15:  In 1352, Tommaso da Modena painted what is believed to be the first portrait of someone wearing what?

            a) dentures         b) spectacles         c) wooden leg

A. 15:  b) spectacles.

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Q. 16:  In the movie ‘Good Will Hunting’ Matt Damon plays a character with a special ability for what subject?

A. 16:  Mathematics.

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Q. 17:  The British 7th Armoured Division got which nickname during their African campaign in WWII?

            a) jungle tigers      b) desert rats       c) mountain foxes

A. 17:  b) desert rats.

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Q. 18:  In the 2012 Summer Olympic games, competitors took part in how many sports?

A. 18:  26.

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Q. 19:  Martin Landau won the Best Supporting Actor Oscar for playing which horror movie star in the movie ‘Ed Wood’?

            a) Bela Lugosi     b) Lon Chaney, Jr.     C) Boris Karloff

A. 19:  a) Bela Lugosi.

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Q. 20:  Which female singer/songwriter wants to, according to the title of one of her singles, ‘Soak Up The Sun’?

A. 20:  Sheryl Crowe.

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