April Fools Day, So Let’s Have A Look At Some Fools!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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It’s April Fool’s Day and what more appropriate post than to have our final look (for now) at the fools who need warning labels on everything and the fools who write the warnings.

Enjoy the stupidity.

warning exp

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“Remove the plastic wrapper.”

The first instruction on a

bag of microwave popcorn;

BUT to see the instructions,

one first has to remove the plastic

wrapper and unfold the pouch.

 popcornbag

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“Take one capsule by mouth

three times daily until gone.”

On a box of pills.

 box of pills

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“Open packet. Eat contents.”

Instructions on a packet of airline peanuts.

 packet of airline peanuts

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“Remove wrapper,

open mouth,

insert muffin,

eat.”

Instructions on the packaging

for a muffin at a 7-11.

 packaging for a muffin

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“Use like regular soap.”

On a bar of Dial soap.

 bar of Dial soap

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“Instructions: usage known.”

Instructions on a can of black pepper.

 black pepper

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“Serving suggestion: Defrost.”

On a Swann frozen dinner.

 swan-to-go

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“Simply pour the biscuits into a bowl and

allow the cat to eat when it wants.”

On a bag of cat biscuits.

 bag of cat biscuits

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“In order to get out of car,

open door, get out, lock doors,

and then close doors.”

In a car manual.

 car manual

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“The appliance is switched on by setting

the on/off switch to the ‘on’ position.”

Instructions for an espresso kettle.

 Bialetti - moka pot 10

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Twenty More Questions – But Have You Twenty More Answers?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Time to test yourself with the weekly fasab quiz.

Another twenty random questions, with the answers waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below.

But please, NO cheating!

Good luck and enjoy.

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quiz confused1

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Q.  1:  Which epic Hollywood film was the most expensive movie made during the 1960s?

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Q.  2:  Polynesia means ‘many islands’. What does Melanesia mean?

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Q.  3:  Which Beatles song title is mentioned in Don McLean’s hit song ‘American Pie’?

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Q.  4:  Which female tennis player won a record 62 Grand Slam titles?

            a) Billie Jean King

            b) Steffi Graf

            c) Martina Navratilova

            d) Margaret Smith Court

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Q.  5:  What was unusual about the Roman Senator Incitatus?

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Q.  6:  What two countries signed the so called ‘Pact of Steel’ on May 22, 1939?

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Q.  7:  Who travels from Spain to the Netherlands by steamboat in late November?

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Q.  8:  In what prison drama movie, based on a Steven King book, does Morgan Freeman play a starring role?

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Q.  9:  The scientific name for which animal is ‘Ursus arctos horribilis’?

            a) Grizzly bear

            b) Great White shark

            c) Grey wolf

            d) Killer whale

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Q. 10:  What was the name of the German engineer who invented the first rotary engine?

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Q. 11:  Formerly called ‘Tsaritsyn’ and then ‘Stalingrad’, what is it called today?

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Q. 12:  Lutz, Axel and Camel are terms associated with what sport?

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Q. 13:  What is the name for a treat with currants squashed between two thin, oblong biscuits/cookies?

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Q. 14:  Name the French cartoon skunk that is madly in love with a reluctant cat?

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Q. 15:  What is an ice hockey puck made from?

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Q. 16:  On the Voyager 1 spacecraft there is a golden record with greetings in different languages and a collection of various Earth sounds. There is also a 90 minute recording of music from many cultures. Which two composers appear the most on this record?

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Q. 17:  The name of which popular US band from the 1970s is an aboriginal expression used to describe an extremely cold evening?

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Q. 18:  Which four of the following seven Grand Slam winners were leftys? 

            a) Rod Laver

            b) Jimmy Connors

            c) Bjorn Borg

            d) John McEnroe

            e) Martina Navratilova

            f) Boris Becker

            g) Pancho Gonzales

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Q. 19:  What is the name for a Google search query consisting of exactly two words (actual words found in a dictionary) without quotation marks, that returns exactly one hit?

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Q. 20:  Which catchy hit song beginning with the words “Once upon a time there was a tavern” is an English version of a melancholic Russian gypsy song?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  Which epic Hollywood film was the most expensive movie made during the 1960s?

A.  1:  Cleopatra

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Q.  2:  Polynesia means ‘many islands’. What does Melanesia mean?

A.  2:  Black islands

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Q.  3:  Which Beatles song title is mentioned in Don McLean’s hit song ‘American Pie’?

A.  3:  Helter Skelter (“Helter Skelter in the summer swelter”)

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Q.  4:  Which female tennis player won a record 62 Grand Slam titles?

            a) Billie Jean King

            b) Steffi Graf

            c) Martina Navratilova

            d) Margaret Smith Court

A.  4:  d) Margaret Smith Court

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Q.  5:  What was unusual about the Roman Senator Incitatus?

A.  5:  Incitatus was a horse.

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Q.  6:  What two countries signed the so called ‘Pact of Steel’ on May 22, 1939?

A.  6:  Nazi Germany and Fascist Italy.

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Q.  7:  Who travels from Spain to the Netherlands by steamboat in late November?

A.  7:  Sinterklaas / Santa Claus / St. Nicholas

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Q.  8:  In what prison drama movie, based on a Steven King book, does Morgan Freeman play a starring role?

A.  8:  The Shawshank Redemption

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Q.  9:  The scientific name for which animal is ‘Ursus arctos horribilis’?

            a) Grizzly bear

            b) Great White shark

            c) Grey wolf

            d) Killer whale

A.  9:  a) Grizzly bear

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Q. 10:  What was the name of the German engineer who invented the first rotary engine?

A. 10:  Wankel (the Wankel Rotary engine)

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Q. 11:  Formerly called Tsaritsyn and then Stalingrad, what is it called today?

A. 11:  Volgograd

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Q. 12:  Lutz, Axel and Camel are terms associated with what sport?

A. 12:  Figure skating

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Q. 13:  What is the name for a treat with currants squashed between two thin, oblong biscuits/cookies?

A. 13:  Garibaldi

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Q. 14:  Name the French cartoon skunk that is madly in love with a reluctant cat?

A. 14:  Pepe le Pew

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Q. 15:  What is an ice hockey puck made from?

A. 15:  Rubber

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Q. 16:  On the Voyager 1 spacecraft there is a golden record with greetings in different languages and a collection of various Earth sounds. There is also a 90 minute recording of music from many cultures. Which two composers appear the most on this record?

A. 16:  Bach and Beethoven

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Q. 17:  The name of which popular US band from the 1970s is an aboriginal expression used to describe an extremely cold evening?

A. 17:  Three Dog Night.

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Q. 18:  Which four of the following seven Grand Slam winners were leftys? 

            a) Rod Laver

            b) Jimmy Connors

            c) Bjorn Borg

            d) John McEnroe

            e) Martina Navratilova

            f) Boris Becker

            g) Pancho Gonzales

A. 18:  a) Rod Laver

            b) Jimmy Connors

            d) John McEnroe

            e) Martina Navratilova

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Q. 19:  What is the name for a Google search query consisting of exactly two words (actual words found in a dictionary) without quotation marks, that returns exactly one hit?

A. 19:  A ‘Googlewhack’. Published googlewhacks are short-lived, since when published to a web site, the new number of hits will become at least two, one to the original hit found, and one to the publishing site.

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Q. 20:  Which catchy hit song beginning with the words “Once upon a time there was a tavern” is an English version of a melancholic Russian gypsy song?

A. 20:  Those Were The Days

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Check This One Out: 1

 “Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Once again the clue to today’s post was in the title.

And since you checked the one in the title out why not check the rest of them out too.

Here is the latest selection of puns for you to endure or hopefully, enjoy.

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Tell you what floats my boat.

Water.

my boat

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What do houseflies and Mac users have in common?

Neither of them understand how Windows work.

flies

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Is it true that an apple a day keeps the doctor away…

or is it just one of Granny’s myths?

apple_green_clipart

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I for one…

…but that’s Roman numerals for you.

IV

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I knew a guy who fell into an industrial grinding machine.

He’s fine now.

grinder

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I have no beef with vegetarians.

pig-pork-cartoon

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I slipped on some dog s**t the other day.

It didn’t suit me though.

clean dog

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I hate it how people keep texting me “k”.

I am very rarely in the mood to talk about potassium.

texting

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I bought some biscuits yesterday, on the packet it said,

“Store in a cool place.”

So I mailed them to Samuel L. Jackson’s house.

Samuel_L_Jackson

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When I was a kid people used to cover me

in cream and put a cherry on my head,

it was tough being brought up in the gateau.    

cartoon-gateau

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I bought a CD which was just the sound of water flowing.

I didn’t like it though, it was too main-stream.

water

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A bartender drowned in a tidal wave of tonic water after a case exploded,

he was schwepped away.

schweppes

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There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. 

numerator_and_denominator

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Ten words, two commas, an exclamation mark

and a period all appeared in court yesterday…

They’re due to be sentenced next week.

judge_sentence_detroit

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The other day, an attendant stopped me in a hospital car park to tell me,

“You can’t park here. It’s badge holders only.”

I replied, “But I have got a bad shoulder.”

badge-holders-only-car-park

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Do you think “Gone With The Wind”

started out as just a draft?

gone_with_the_wind_cover

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I was pulled over by the police today.

“How fast do you think you were going, sir?”

“60mph?” I asked.

“Try 135,” the officer replied.

So I shut the door and drove as fast as I could.

police-officer

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The French are concerned that 77% of their electricity comes from nuclear power.

I think they should stop over-reacting.

france_nuclear

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I’m scared of trampolines.

They make me jump.

cartoon-trampoline

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At last I’ve found out the reason that women ask so many questions.

Apparently they have an extra why chromosome.

questions

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