More Stupid Signs By Stupid People For Stupid People.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Catering for the lowest common denominator in intelligence can be very frustrating for the rest of us.

But apparently stupidity has reached levels today where stupid people will hurt themselves with things that shouldn’t hurt them, if they had the wit to understand what they were and how use them properly.

Personally I think there is some merit in letting them get on with it and perhaps thereby gradually eliminating chronic stupidity from the gene pool.

In the meantime all we can do is cringe and laugh.

Here are some more.

Enjoy.

.

.

“Not to be used as a personal flotation device.”

On a 6 x 10 inch inflatable picture frame.

 

.

.

“Do not put in mouth.”

On a box of bottle rockets.

 

.

.

“Remove plastic before eating.”

On the wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack.

 

.

.

“Not dishwasher safe.”

On a remote control for a TV.

 

.

.

“For lifting purposes only.”

On the box for a car jack.

 

.

.

“Do not put lit candles on phone.”

On the instructions for a cordless phone.

 

.

.

“Warning! This is not underwear!

Do not attempt to put in pants.”

On the packaging for a wristwatch.

 

.

.

“Safe for use around pets.”

On a box of Arm & Hammer Cat Litter.

 

.

.

“No stopping or standing.”

A sign at bus stops everywhere.

 

.

.

“Do not sit under coconut trees.”

A sign on a coconut palm in a

West Palm Beach park circa 1950.

 

.

.

“These rows reserved for parents with children.”

A sign in a church.

 

.

.

“All cups leaving this store, whether

full or empty, must be paid for.”

A sign in a Cumberland Farms

in Hillsboro, New Hampshire.

 

.

=======================================

.

The Internet Of Things.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Last year the ‘new thing’ that all the techies were talking about was the ‘Internet of Things’.

For those who are not up to speed on this ‘new thing’, the ‘Internet of Things’ is about getting all of our household devices connected online.

This is not just a ‘new thing’ but it’s a ‘BIG thing’ too.

Already there are about 10 billion net-connected devices and predictions are that by 2020, just five years from now, the number will have grown to 50 billion devices.

More importantly, for the businesses involved in this industry, and for investors, the ‘Internet of Things’ market will be worth at least three-quarters of a trillion dollars – that’s an ‘illion’ with a ‘tr’ in front of it!

As you would expect, the big technology players aren’t wasting any time getting involved.

Samsung has developed what it calls a ‘SmartThings Hub’ which will organize all of the connected devices in your home regardless of what platform they run on. The company’s CEO has promised that by 2017, 90% of its products would be connected to the Web.

The Samsung ‘SmartThings Hub’ is compatible with the Apple ‘HomeKit’ for iOS8, which was introduced last summer.

A lot of the ‘IoT’ devices are aimed at the home security market. Many of these are already available, but with the development of the ‘IoT’ they will become much more sophisticated, have additional features, such as cameras with facial recognition capabilities, and be more affordable for the average consumer. At the moment most of the better systems carry a hefty price tag and are aimed at the high-end market.

Another big market is babies, with a number of devices coming to the market that monitor almost everything about your baby and send that information to you wherever you are via a mobile device.

Other ‘IoT’ devices for the home include smart light bulbs, Bluetooth speakers, WiFi repeaters and lots of other home entertainment applications.

You will even be able to control your coffee maker or tea kettle via wifi.

And your pets have not been forgotten either. If you just can’t bear to be unconnected to your dog, for example, you can get a smart collar like the ‘Fitbark’ or ‘Motorola Scout 5000’. If this was pun day I’d tell you it came with a paws control.

It all sounds great, for those who like that kind of thing. And indeed some of the devices will be useful and hopefully cost effective and energy saving for the home. I don’t think you’re going to have any choice because new devices for the home will come with all this new technology built in.

The big problem will be sophisticated burglars and malicious tech savvy people, who will no doubt figure out ways of hacking your system and possibly gaining control of the whole set up.

A password like ‘password’ will no longer suffice in the era of the ‘Internet of Things’.

==================

.

A Conversation With The Cat.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

 

I was walking through the house

the other day with my camera

when I spotted the cat lying on a sofa.

“Hi there.” I said. “Whatya doin?”

“Just chilling out here on the sofa,’” she said.

. 

“I have a joke for you,” I said.

So I told her a joke.

It must have been a good one,

my how she laughed.

 .

Then I asked,

“Mind if I take your photo?”

“Oh no, no way,” she replied.

“I haven’t combed my fur or anything.”

 

.

======================================

.

Did You Know? More Interesting Facts To Ponder

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Another delve into the fasab fact file today.

If you are interested in facts, information or trivia there will hopefully be something in here for you.

Enjoy.

.

 

.

The first Ford cars had Dodge engines.

.

.

The oldest known goldfish lived to 43 years of age.

Its name was Tish.

.

.

There are only thirteen blimps in the world.

Nine of them are in the United States.

.

.

In 1967, the IMAX film system was invented by Canadians

Graeme Ferguson, Roman Kroitor, Robert Kerr, and William C. Shaw

and premiered at Expo 67.

.

.

Texas is also the only state that is allowed to fly its state flag

at the same height as the U.S. flag.

.

.

The typical lead pencil can draw a line

that is thirty five miles long

.

.

Pollsters say that 40 percent of dog and cat owners

carry pictures of the pets in their wallets.

.

.

A meteor has only destroyed one satellite,

which was the European Space Agency’s Olympus in 1993.

.

.

The average American drinks about 600 sodas a year.

.

.

When Queen Elizabeth I of England died

she owned over 3,000 gowns

.

.

The smallest man ever was Gul Mohammed (1957-1997) of India,

who measured 1 feet, 10 inches

.

.

Before the fur trade had started in Canada,

it was estimated that there were over 6 million beavers

.

.

In 1962, the first Wal-Mart opened up in Rogers, Arkansas

.

.

The Saguaro Cactus, found in South-western United States

does not grow branches until it is 75 years old.

.

.

Japan has approximately 200 volcanoes

and is home to 10% of the active volcanoes in the world

.

.

The Dutch people are known to be

the tallest people in Europe

.

.

The word Nike comes from Greek Mythology.

Nike is the goddess of victory and was often depicted

as a small winged figure carried by the goddess Athene.

.

.

The long fibers that are found in the banana plant

can make paper approximately 3000 times stronger than regular paper.

.

.

The city of Seoul has been the capital city of Korea

for more than 600 years

.

.

In Ivrea, Italy, thousands of citizens celebrate the beginning of Lent

by throwing oranges at one another.

.

==================================

.

Further Furry Fun!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

I feel a bit of a Sunday Sermon coming on, if I get the time to write it.

But for today something a lot lighter and hopefully amusing.

It’s a second helping of our animal friends. They are fun.

Enjoy.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Is it just me, or does this little feller look like Lil John recently on Celebrity Apprentice?

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

==============================================

.

Funny Animal Fotos

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Time to relax for the weekend.

Here are a few funny animal fotos to help.

Some are natural shots, others have been helped a little with human input but I hope you find most of them amusing.

Enjoy.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Foreclosure!

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

==========================================

.

This Is Too Dog Gone Funny!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Yesterday’s post was a bit heavy going. So today, a little bit of light relief for you.

I’ve mentioned a few times before that I am very fond of dogs. They are great loyal companions and usually very protective of their family.

I have a strong preference for German Shepherds which are well known as being courageous, intelligent, watchful, confident and alert. I would argue that they not only have these attributes, but are also highly intelligent AND also look quite elegant as well.

But there are a multitude of different breeds out there and they all have their followers.

I wonder can the owners of these breeds say the same thing?

Enjoy.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

======================================

.

Willy And Woof!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

 

A barking dog is often more useful than a sleeping lion.

 

I’ve always thought the shortened form of the name William was a curious one. If you turn out to be a big guy in later life, say 6 feet tall or better, then you’re fine, but if you happen to end up as closer to the 5 feet mark in stature then the name isn’t so good. Being called ‘Big Willy’ all the time must make for more of a confidence builder than being stuck all your life as ‘Small Willy’ or ‘Wee Willy’.

Fortunately women don’t seem to have the same problem, at least not since the name ‘Fanny’ has gone out of fashion.

This is all by way of introduction to a man I knew called, you’ve probably guessed already, ‘Willy’. He was just medium height and so everybody just called him ‘Willy’ –  to his face that is. Behind his back ‘Willy’ had another nick name.

Willy was a curious bloke. He was by far and away the most disobliging man I have ever had the misfortune to meet. And selfish and bad tempered as well. Everything was about him, what he wanted, and when he wanted it. Nobody else mattered.

And to top it all off, he was as dumb as they come. He never finished school or learned a trade. Any time he was employed it was only for a short while quite frankly because no one could stick his attitude for very long. If he was given a job to do he did it, but as reluctantly and as badly as possible and would never help out any of his colleagues – even when doing so would have helped himself.

Willy was also born with a cleft pallet sometimes known as a ‘hair lip’. In his day the surgical techniques for correcting such an infliction were not as advanced as nowadays and Willy ended up with a quite pronounced speech impediment for the rest of his life.

Eventually though he found a woman desperate enough to take him on and they got married. Her name was Ruth, a nice name. At least it was to everybody but ‘Willy’. For a short time after they were married he called her Ruth, naturally enough, that was her name. But then after a few weeks or months he changed her name (unofficially) to ‘Margaret’, which was not and had never been her name or part of it. But from then on to him she was ‘Margaret’, Ruth was no more.

It wasn’t because he didn’t like her real name, or because he had forgotten it, he wasn’t quite as stupid as that, I don’t think so anyhow. He had an entirely different reason.

It was also the time that ‘Willy’ became known to one and all in the district as “The Dog”.

You see, because of his affliction and consequent speech impediment, ‘Willy’ could not say the name ‘Ruth’ properly – why did he choose a woman with that name to begin with you ask? I think perhaps the number he had to choose from was very small.

When he was out in company, or even just shouting around his own house or garden for his wife, in his head ‘Willy’ was saying ‘Ruth, Ruth’. But what the rest of us heard was only ‘Woof, Woof’.

Now I may be an evil person, I hope not, but this just cracked me up every time I heard it. One ‘Woof’ was funny enough, but when he put two or three of them together, ‘Woof, Woof, Woof’ it was just too much. Absolutely hilarious seeing and hearing this grown man walking about shouting ‘Woof’ like a demented dog. Hence the nickname he got lumbered with for the rest of his days.

Of course all the hilarity made him even crosser than he normally was and the situation was never helped when some of the local wits handed him a dog biscuit when he was in full flight, or tried to feel his nose to see if it was cold, to which he invariably replied ‘WTF’ or in ‘Willy’s’ case make that ‘WTH’!

And that was the tale of Willy And Woof!

 

 

 

Have you had similar experiences? Send them along. Let the world know what is happening before it is too late.

 

Grim Reaper, Part 2, Meet Oscar

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

 

I’ve said before that I’m a doggie person. But we have a cat and a dog that thinks it’s a cat, so I don’t mind having a cat around the place either – except when it decides to attack the birds in the garden. Then there is a heated dispute.

Having said that, however I’m not so sure that I would like a cat like Oscar around. Certainly the people I was talking about yesterday in the post about Harry Meadows and the Home for the Elderly might get a little nervous!

You see, Oscar the cat seems to have an uncanny knack for predicting when nursing home patients are going to die, by curling up next to them during their final hours. His accuracy, observed in twenty-five cases, has led the staff at the Home to call family members once he has chosen someone. It usually means they have less than four hours to live.

“He doesn’t make too many mistakes. He seems to understand when patients are about to die,” said Dr. David Dosa a geriatrician and assistant professor of medicine at Brown University. “Many family members take some solace from it. They appreciate the companionship that the cat provides for their dying loved one,” said Dosa.

Oscar was adopted as a kitten and grew up in a third-floor dementia unit at the Steere House Nursing and Rehabilitation Center in Providence, Rhode Island. The facility treats people with Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s disease and other illnesses.

After about six months, the staff noticed Oscar would make his own rounds, just like the doctors and nurses. He’d sniff and observe patients, then sit beside people who would wind up dying in a few hours.

Dosa said Oscar seems to take his work seriously and is generally aloof. “This is not a cat that’s friendly to people,” he said.

Oscar is better at predicting death than the people who work there, said Dr. Joan Teno of Brown University, who treats patients at the nursing home and is an expert on care for the terminally ill

She was convinced of Oscar’s talent when he made his 13th correct call. While observing one patient, Teno said she noticed the woman wasn’t eating, was breathing with difficulty and that her legs had a bluish tinge, signs that often mean death is near.

Oscar wouldn’t stay inside the room though, so Teno thought his streak was broken. Instead, it turned out the doctor’s prediction was roughly ten hours too early. Sure enough, during the patient’s final two hours, nurses told Teno that Oscar joined the woman at her bedside.

Doctors say most of the people who get a visit from the sweet-faced, gray-and-white cat are so ill they probably don’t know he’s there, so patients aren’t aware he’s a harbinger of death. Most families are grateful for the advanced warning, although one wanted Oscar out of the room while a family member died. When Oscar is put outside, he paces and meows his displeasure.

No one’s certain if Oscar’s behavior is scientifically significant or points to a cause. Teno wonders if the cat notices telltale scents or reads something into the behavior of the nurses who raised him.

So is Oscar really is a furry grim reaper? No one is saying for sure but he did recently received a wall plaque publicly commending his “compassionate hospice care.”

 

 

Oscar the Grim Reaper

 

I Am A Doggie Person

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

 

I am an unashamed doggie person. They’re great company, fiercely loyal, offer friendship and protection and if you understand them they’re just great to have around. As someone else noted, you can also say whatever balderdash you can think of to them and they’ll always look up at you with that “That was really awesome, I wish I’d thought of that” look on their faces.

Now I know that dog ownership is a very subjective thing, a bit like cars, some people like Ford others Mercedes, or Toyota, or whatever. With dogs some people like big dogs, others small dogs, other a specific breed etc., etc.

I like almost all dogs, with the exception of the tiny, pampered, useless and obnoxiously yappy sort. I’m a bit the same with people, come to think of it. And most dogs seem to like me, though not all. I remember my cousin used to have a collie dog that got along with everyone – except me. When I was in his house all it would do was lie in beneath the television table and growl and growl, teeth beared and ready to pounce (it seemed). It never did, but that probably had more to do with the fact that I never took my eyes off it.

I have owned a few dogs. The first was a Toy Terrier, when I was a kid. Nice little dog, went blind late in its life. Then we’ve had another small white terrier-type mongrel thingy. Very friendly, very, very stupid. Just could not be taught to do anything. There was also a Rotpit or Bullweiller (a cross between a Rottweiler and a Pitbull whatever that makes), friendly with the family, not so keen on strangers, incredibly strong and just demolished everything in its path, particularly the garden. Again dumb as the proverbial “bag of hammers”.

Now we have a cross between a Chihuahua and a Dachshund or Doberman. It was hard to tell with this lot because no three of the puppies were alike (I think their mummy must have been a bit of a floosie!). Lovely looking little doggie and very friendly, but unfortunately it is really stupid too and, probably as a consequence, disobedient.

Oh yes, and it also thinks it’s a cat! It refuses to eat anything but cat food. And now our cat has had kittens again and the dog spends it’s time picking them up and carrying them about and reorganizing them. Until Mrs Cat sees him that is. Then there is a few harsh words spat in his direction, cat claws start flying and she gives him a few right hooks and left jabs until he thinks better of it and runs away, leaving her to collect the kittens and assemble them back in her bed. I think if I was a dog and a cat beat me up I find it hard to live with, but as I said, he’s not so bright!

The best dogs I ever had, and I’ve been fortunate enough to have had two of them, were German Shepherds. They have a bad reputation in some less well informed circles, but if you want a proper dog, one that can protect you and yours and one that is super-intelligent then you won’t be disappointed. They really are a cut above the rest.

So what brought all this on? Well a friend sent me some photos of dogs on Monday. Have a look below, particularly at the expressions on their faces, and if you don’t laugh then there is definitely something wrong with you. They are from a series called underwater dogs.

Enjoy!