More Stupid Signs By Stupid People For Stupid People.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Catering for the lowest common denominator in intelligence can be very frustrating for the rest of us.

But apparently stupidity has reached levels today where stupid people will hurt themselves with things that shouldn’t hurt them, if they had the wit to understand what they were and how use them properly.

Personally I think there is some merit in letting them get on with it and perhaps thereby gradually eliminating chronic stupidity from the gene pool.

In the meantime all we can do is cringe and laugh.

Here are some more.

Enjoy.

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stupidity is contageous sign

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“Not to be used as a personal flotation device.”

On a 6 x 10 inch inflatable picture frame.

 inflatable picture frame

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“Do not put in mouth.”

On a box of bottle rockets.

 bottle rockets

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“Remove plastic before eating.”

On the wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack.

 Fruit Roll-Up snack

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“Not dishwasher safe.”

On a remote control for a TV.

 remote control for a TV

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“For lifting purposes only.”

On the box for a car jack.

 car jack

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“Do not put lit candles on phone.”

On the instructions for a cordless phone.

 lit candles

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“Warning! This is not underwear!

Do not attempt to put in pants.”

On the packaging for a wristwatch.

 packaging for a wristwatch

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“Safe for use around pets.”

On a box of Arm & Hammer Cat Litter.

 Arm & Hammer Cat Litter

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“No stopping or standing.”

A sign at bus stops everywhere.

 No stopping or standing

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“Do not sit under coconut trees.”

A sign on a coconut palm in a

West Palm Beach park circa 1950.

 Do not sit under coconut trees

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“These rows reserved for parents with children.”

A sign in a church.

 parents with children

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“All cups leaving this store, whether

full or empty, must be paid for.”

A sign in a Cumberland Farms

in Hillsboro, New Hampshire.

 cups

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These Quizzes Might Not Quite Be Legend, But Today One Of The Questions Is!

Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes indeed, today one of the questions is legend.

So get your thinking caps on and have a go.

And remember if you get stuck you can find all the answers waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please NO cheating!

Enjoy and good luck.

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quiz 05

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Q.  1: George Washington was the first President of the United States of America, who was the second?

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Q.  2:  Barbie’s friend Ken has a last name, what is it?

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Q.  3:  Most of us have played the board game “Monopoly”, but can you name the six tokens available to the players? (And yes, you get a point for each correct answer.)

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Q.  4:  Which capital city is also the name of a very hot spice used in the kitchen?

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Q.  5:  American writer Richard Matheson’s 1954 novel called “I Am Legend” was adapted for a movie of the same name in 2007 starring Will Smith. But this was the third adaptation of the novel, what were the first two and what were the names of the actors in the starring roles? (A point for the name of each movie and further points if you can name the starring actors.)

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Q.  6:  The world was declared safe from which virus in 1979, after it had killed more than one billion people?

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Q.  7:  What is the second highest mountain in the world?

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Q.  8:  Which famous World War II general, who just before retreating from the Philippines in 1942 said, “We shall return”?

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Q.  9:  Which Colombian city was notorious for being the center of the cocaine smuggling business, the drug cartel responsible even taking the name?

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Q. 10:  Which island did Turkish troops invade in 1974?

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Q. 11:  The 25th President of the USA had the highest peak in North America named after him, what was his name?

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Q. 12:  Who was the British actress who starred in the epic movie “Gone With The Wind” and what part did she play? (A point for each correct answer.)

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Q. 13:  What was the name of the national airline of Belgium that operated from 1923 until bankruptcy forced its cessation in 2001?

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Q. 14:  Much in the news currently, what is the capital city of Ukraine?

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Q. 15:  Josip Broz led the Communist partisans to victory against foreign occupation forces in Yugoslavia during the Second World War. By what name was he later better known?

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Q. 16:  What was the name of the seafaring people based in Scandinavia, who raided, traded, explored, and settled in wide areas of Europe, Asia, and the North Atlantic islands, from the late 8th to the mid-11th centuries?

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Q. 17:  What is the name of the Japanese delicacy consisting of very fresh raw meat or fish sliced into thin pieces?

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Q. 18:  Which Russian word meaning “Speaking Aloud” was a policy of Mikhail Gorbachev in order to liberalize various aspects of Soviet life?

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Q. 19:  Who was the South African surgeon who carried out the first heart transplant operation?

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Q. 20:  Which famous singer songwriter and guitarist from the 1950s had his most famous hit, and only number one recording, in the 1970s with his ding-a-ling?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1: George Washington was the first President of the United States of America, who was the second?

A.  1:  John Adams.

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Q.  2:  Barbie’s friend Ken has a last name, what is it?

A.  2:  It’s Carson, the little dude’s full name is Ken Carson!

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Q.  3:  Most of us have played the board game “Monopoly”, but can you name the six tokens available to the players? (And yes, you get a point for each correct answer.)

A.  3:  The Monopoly tokens are a Battleship, a Boot, a Dog, a Flat Iron, a Racing Car, and a Top Hat.

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Q.  4:  Which capital city is also the name of a very hot spice used in the kitchen?

A.  4:  Cayenne (French Guyana).

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Q.  5:  American writer Richard Matheson’s 1954 novel called “I Am Legend” was adapted for a movie of the same name in 2007 starring Will Smith. But this was the third adaptation of the novel, what were the first two and what were the names of the actors in the starring roles? (A point for the name of each movie and further points if you can name the starring actors.)

A.  5:  The first big screen adaptation of the novel was “The Last Man on Earth” (1964) which starred Vincent Price, and the second adaptation was “The Omega Man” (1971) starring Charlton Heston.

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Q.  6:  The world was declared safe from which virus in 1979, after it had killed more than one billion people?

A.  6:  Smallpox.

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Q.  7:  What is the second highest mountain in the world?

A.  7:  Located Pakistan, “K2” (also known as Chhogori/Qogir, Ketu/Kechu, and Mount Godwin-Austen) is the second-highest mountain in the world with a peak elevation of 6,811 meters (28,251 feet).

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Q.  8:  Which famous World War II general, who just before retreating from the Philippines in 1942 said, “We shall return”?

A.  8:  General Douglas MacArthur.

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Q.  9:  Which Colombian city was notorious for being the center of the cocaine smuggling business, the drug cartel responsible even taking the name?

A.  9:  Medellin, now thankfully a much more peaceful place.

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Q. 10:  Which island did Turkish troops invade in 1974?

A. 10:  Cyprus.

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Q. 11:  The 25th President of the USA had the highest peak in North America named after him, what was his name?

A. 11:  William McKinley.

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Q. 12:  Who was the British actress who starred in the epic movie “Gone With The Wind” and what part did she play? (A point for each correct answer.)

A. 12:  Vivien Leigh, who played Scarlett O’Hara.

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Q. 13:  What was the name of the national airline of Belgium that operated from 1923 until bankruptcy forced its cessation in 2001?

A. 13:  Best known internationally by the acronym Sabena (SABENA), which is the answer I’m looking for, it was The Societé Anonyme Belge d’Exploitation de la Navigation Aérienne, or Belgian Corporation for Air Navigation Services.

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Q. 14:  Much in the news currently, what is the capital city of Ukraine?

A. 14:  Kiev.

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Q. 15:  Josip Broz led the Communist partisans to victory against foreign occupation forces in Yugoslavia during the Second World War. By what name was he later better known?

A. 15:  President Tito.

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Q. 16:  What was the name of the seafaring people based in Scandinavia, who raided, traded, explored, and settled in wide areas of Europe, Asia, and the North Atlantic islands, from the late 8th to the mid-11th centuries?

A. 16:  They were called Vikings or Norsemen, take a point if you gave either answer.

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Q. 17:  What is the name of the Japanese delicacy consisting of very fresh raw meat or fish sliced into thin pieces?

A. 17:  Sashimi. (Not Sushi, which includes cooked vinegared rice.)

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Q. 18:  Which Russian word meaning “Speaking Aloud” was a policy of Mikhail Gorbachev in order to liberalize various aspects of Soviet life?

A. 18:  Glasnost.

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Q. 19:  Who was the South African surgeon who carried out the first heart transplant operation.

A. 19:  Dr Christian Barnard.

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Q. 20:  Which famous singer songwriter and guitarist from the 1950s had his most famous hit, and only number one recording, in the 1970s with his ding-a-ling?

A. 20:  Chuck Berry, have a listen….

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Don’t Join Dangerous Cults: Practice Safe Sects! – Yes, More Puns!!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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What could be better than a bit of sound advice mixed with a little pun?

Appearing today probably to mixed reviews, here is another of puns, bad jokes or word plays, whatever you like to call them.

Enjoy!

(BTW, the last one is a classic!)

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Did you know that every two in one people are schizophrenic?

schizo .

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I hear that the credit crunch is even affecting fairgrounds.

My friend’s a dodgems operator and he lost his job this morning.

He’s suing for funfair dismissal.

dodgems

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Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table,

because he only recognizes the element of surprise

chuck norris cartoon

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I got a new anorexic girlfriend.

It’s not going too well.

These days, I’m seeing less and less of her.

anorexic

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I went into the hardware store yesterday.

I went up to the counter and asked the bloke for some nails.

He said, “How long do you want them?”

I said, “I want to keep ’em.”

hammer nail

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My late mother-in-law was a clairvoyant and a contortionist.

As a result she was able to foresee her own end

contortionist

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Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

beer beauty

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Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet.

He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

Mary Poppins said  he was a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

ghandi

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Could you say a gossip is someone with a sense of rumor?

gossip

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Why was the ink drop sad?

Because her dad was in the pen and she didn’t know how long the sentence would be!

ink drop

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My mate is addicted to brake fluid.

But he reckons he can stop at any time.

brake-Check

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When you dream in color, it’s a pigment of your imagination.

dream in color

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How do you kill a circus?

Go for the juggler.

HarveyJugglerCartoon

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What do you call a French man in sandals?

Phillippe Flop flip flop

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Safe And Secure

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Safe and secure is the wish of all of us and we pay other people to make sure that we are. In fact in today’s world hundreds of thousands of people are employed one way or another in the security business.

Looking at the macro-side of it, despite the fact that we all hate being treated as suspects when we go to the airport, most of the time the security people seem to get it right. After all, although many have been planned, there have been very few successful terrorist attacks since the infamous 9-11 in New York City and The Pentagon.

 Security-check

Nevertheless we have to be vigilant and cautious no matter where we are in the world. This is particularly so for American citizens and government employees, who are potential targets overseas.

Even in the most unlikely of places.

On July 31, last year, for example, Norwegian Police blocked off the area around Oslo’s royal palace following the discovery of a suspicious object beneath a nearby automobile outside the U.S. embassy.

The embassy was evacuated.

So was Norway’s royal palace and part of downtown Oslo.

Authorities even temporarily suspended subway service.

An international children’s soccer game was canceled at nearby Voldslokka Stadium so that the field could be used to land helicopters close to the embassy.

The Oslo bomb squad, emergency services and other agencies responded to the bomb alert. They examined the ‘device’ but were quickly able to determine that it was in fact a fake, much to the relief of everyone.

However, the incident then raised further questions.

Who had been responsible?

How had the perpetrators managed to breech Embassy security and plant the device, even a fake one?

It wasn’t too long before an “Oh, oh…” was heard.

Keen to make sure everyone was alert to the possibility of an attack, security staff at the U.S. embassy in Oslo had carried out a safety drill earlier in the week. That safety drill had included placing fake bombs on vehicles to rehearse their emergency-response operations.  

However, they forgot about one of the ‘bombs’ and a few days later the practice bomb was spotted on an embassy vehicle as it tried to enter the embassy grounds just after 11 a.m. The eagle-eyed security guards on duty leaped into action and the bomb alert was declared.

Of course the officials concerned apologized for their mistake in leaving the fake bomb, regretting any disruption caused by this incident, and essentially calling a bomb scare on themselves.

Safe and secure? Maybe, but from whom?

Who is going to protect us from the idiots?  

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Is Your Glass Half Full, Or Half Empty?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

“Some people see the glass half full.

Others see it half empty.

I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.”

George Carlin

 

Just a short post today, but it covers a big philosophical question.

How do you look at things in life?

Is your glass always half full or half empty?

The Australian airline Quantas has never had a major accident. Does this mean that you have confidence that it is the safest airline in the world? Or does it make you think that maybe the odds are that it’s due for an accident?

If you’re playing the tables in Vegas or Atlantic City or somewhere, does the fact that you’ve lost the last ten hands make you think that your luck is out for the night and you leave. Or do you think the laws of probability mean your luck must be due to change shortly and you hang in there?

There’s no right or wrong answers here. It just depends on what type of person you are.

People who are naturally in the glass half empty category tend to be the ones who play it safe. Work for someone else, are content with a lesser but safer position, don’t over extend themselves financially, etc. For that type of person such decisions make for a much happier and contented life.

Other people, me for example, are more in the glass half full category. More prone to taking risks, trying new things (like blogging even!), and starting their own businesses. That can bring great rewards, but it can cause more than a little turmoil financially and otherwise in your life too, particularly in the economic times we are currently living through. The safe option it is not!

It takes both types to make the world go round and both are equally important.

There’s no point in starting your own business if there’s no one willing to be employed; and there’s no point in looking for a job if there’s no one willing to take the risk and start a business (they all had to start somewhere, even the giant multi nationals).

So what’s the best? It depends on you.

What’s right? Again, it depends on you.

Just don’t waste your time with the stupid pursuit of wondering if the grass is greener somewhere else if you don’t have the courage to go and find out.

Whatever way suits you at least be content with your decision.

That my friends is the simplest secret to enjoying your life.

(According to me anyhow!)

Here’s a video.

Enjoy!