Should We Let The Tail Continue To Wag The Dog?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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They say that nothing is free and in America that is certainly true as regards freedom of religious beliefs.

If you are a Christian, that is.

If you are a Muslim, or a Hindu, or a Sikh, or a Buddhist, or even an atheist, the constitutional protections of your civil rights will be upheld and fought for by all and sundry. Silly looking people will hold up even sillier looking signs supporting your point of view.

If you are a Christian, however, you will find you only have the freedom to do what minority groups dictate, not what conforms to your religious beliefs.

Aaron and Melissa Klein, the owners of a mom and pop bakery they call ‘Sweet Cakes By Melissa’, found that out a while ago when they refused to bake a wedding cake for a lesbian couple in 2013. They have been ordered by the Oregon Bureau of Labor and Industry (BOLI-cks for short) to pay $135,000 in damages to the two lesbians for “emotional suffering.”

It makes me wonder if Donald Trump will launch a similar suit against Macy’s for the “emotional suffering” he has been caused by Macy’s refusing to sell his merchandise? I would imagine for a man with that kind of ego the “emotional suffering” would be substantial, at least a billion dollar’s worth, I reckon.

Apparently in Oregon, and probably in other states, it is now illegal for a business to refuse to serve someone because of their sexual orientation. Most probably the same applies if you are of a particular race, color, or religion. However, there is no equivalent law to protect the religious beliefs of business owners.

Now I could care less whether you are a lesbian or a Presbyterian, that’s not the issue here. The issue is that you can’t have a law that protects one sector of the community at the expense of another. More to the point you can’t have a ridiculous legal system that is both unfair and illogical.

But you do.

And it’s getting worse.

Just as the Freedom Act took away more freedoms than it gave, the government is stealthily and overtly eroding the individual citizen’s right to live their lives as they want to and as their beliefs dictate.

Sure you have to have rules, like don’t murder people, drive on the correct side of the road, and that kind of thing otherwise there would be chaos. But trying to control and micro-manage every thought and action of the people, which is what the government is now about, is both unnecessary and unwanted.

Big Brother control room

I’m now wondering what happens if you come into my gun shop and I don’t like the look of you and refuse to sell you a gun or other weapon. Am I within my rights? Or can you sue me for the “emotional suffering” of not being able to kill your family or hold up a bank?

Or can I sue you if you own the gayest cake shop in America but refuse to serve me because I am a Christian? That would be an interesting one in the light of the Oregon decision.

What happens if you are a Christian lesbian? What sort of “emotional suffering” does that cause? And can you sue yourself for damages? I’m sure there’s a judge somewhere stupid enough to grant you a big payout, but of course you would have to pay it to yourself, unless the state would step in because of your sexual orientation and cough up the cash for you.

You see where this is going?

deliberate dumbing down of America

Just as they wrecked the education system in many western countries by teaching the brightest people in the school at the same pace as the dumbest, thereby lowering the level of education of everyone and churning out a multitude of idiots who can barely read, or write, or count, now we have to pander to every minority no matter how few people they represent and no matter how much their minority beliefs offend our own.

Minority rights don’t really matter to the government because they don’t make up enough of the population. If and when the need arises minorities can be brought to heel. The majority is a different matter though and what has been discussed in this blog post is all part of the dumbing down of society and instilling fear in anyone from the majority community who dares to stand up and challenge authority. The threat of a  six figure fine, or worse, ensures compliance in most people.

My old late lamented friend George Carlin summed it up so well when he said, “Governments don’t want well informed, well educated people capable of critical thinking. That is against their interests. They want obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. And just dumb enough to passively accept it.”

Protection of minority rights in a society is one thing – and a good thing – and should be defended at all costs. But it should be done for the right reasons AND it should be in addition to the rights of the majority, never at their expense.

Otherwise you might as well throw out the “all men are created equal” bit of the constitution and just let the tail continue to wag the dog.

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I Love Grandfather Clocks. Big Time!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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And I love puns as well.

So brace yourselves for another selection of word plays.

Enjoy or endure!!

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It pains me to say it,

but I have a sore throat

 

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There was a knock at the door this morning,

so I opened it and there was a basin on the doorstep.

I thought, “I’d better let this sink in.”

 

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For the record I bought

a vinyl cleaning machine

 

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Having just punched a midget selling watches,

I know I’ve hit an all time low.

 

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Are there any fat people in Finland?

 

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Have you ever wondered what the

word for ‘dot’ looks like in braille?

 

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My girlfriend broke up with me

because of my obsession with puzzles.

There were a lot of cross words

 

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I can’t undo wrongs.

But I can write them.

 

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A friend dared me to steal a

flat-bottomed boat from the river.

I thought, “Why not. I’ll take a punt.”

 

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Everyone loved the baker.

He had a massive flan base.

 

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I don’t regard being a toastmaster a job,

it’s more a calling.

 

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The ten largest baseball stadiums hold

between 46,000 – 56,000 people.

Just some ballpark figures for you.

 

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My girlfriend asked me what I’d do with my life if I lost her.

I said it would be like breaking a pencil.

She said, “Do you mean it would be pointless?”

I said, “No, I’d just go out and buy another one.”

 

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I’ve just bought some ghost-shaped laxative tablets.

They scare the crap out of me.

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Controversial Post? – Should We Get Rid Of Homos?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Some blogs meander along trying to be very politically correct. But not here at fasab. Controversial or not, the philosophy here is to tell it as it is.

So to repeat the question in the title…. 

Should we get rid of homos?

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Of course, I’m talking about homographs and homophones – I don’t know what YOU were thinking of?

If you are a regular visitor to this blog you will know that quite often we have a look at amusing misprints or mistakes on signs, classified ads, newspaper headlines, or wherever else they can be found.

Nearly always the problem is peoples’ failure to grasp the intricacies of the English language.

If you are born and bred in an English speaking country then it is relatively easy to grasp the basics of the language, although there is a steady deterioration in some of these, like speleling for example. (That was a deliberate mistake for comic affect by the way.)

So what about the homos then?

For those who haven’t made up their mind yet, a homograph – (also known as a heteronym, but where would have been the fun in that title?) – is a word of the same written form as another but of different meaning and usually different origin.

Sometimes it is pronounced the same as the other word, in which case it is known as a homograph.

Sometimes they are pronounced differently, in which case they are called homophones.

An example of the former is the word “letter” which is pronounced the same whether the meaning is a message written to someone, or to describe a particular member of the alphabet such as ‘A’, ‘B’, ‘C’, etc.

An example of the latter could be the word “lead” which is pronounced differently if it means a metal (“the lead was very heavy”), or to be the front runner of a group of people (“he was in the lead”).

There are a lot more homos around than you might at first think. Here are just a few examples I saw recently. I hope you find them interesting and maybe even begin to realize what a nightmare learning the English language must be for those not immersed in it from a very young age.

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1) The bandage was “wound” around the “wound”.

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2) The farm was used to “produce” “produce”.

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3) The dump was so full that it had to “refuse” more “refuse”.

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4) We must “polish” the “Polish” furniture.

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5) He could “lead” if he would get the “lead” out.

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6) The soldier decided to “desert”  his “dessert” in the “desert”.

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7) Since there is no time like the “present”, he thought it was time to “present” the “present”.

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8) A “bass” was painted on the head of the “bass” drum.

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9) When shot at the “dove”  “dove” into the bushes.

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10) I did not “object” to the “object”.

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11) The insurance was “invalid” for the “invalid”.

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12) There was a “row” among the oarsmen about how to “row”.

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13) They were too “close” to the door to “close” it.

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14) The buck “does” funny things when the “does” are present.

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15) A seamstress and a “sewer” fell down into a “sewer” line.

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16) The farmer used a “sow” to help him “sow” the crop.

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17) The “wind” was too strong to “wind” the sail.

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18) Upon seeing the “tear” in the painting I shed a “tear”.

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19) I had to “subject” the “subject” to a series of tests.

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20) How can I “intimate” this to my most “intimate” friend?

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Let’s face it – English is a crazy language. 

For example, there are no “eggs” in “eggplant”, nor “ham” in “hamburger”.  

There is neither “pine” nor “apple” in “pineapple”.

“English” muffins weren’t invented in “England” nor “French” fries in “France”.

“Sweetmeats” are “sweet” but are candies and not “meats”, whereas “sweetbreads” are neither “sweet” nor “bread”, but in fact meat.

Boxing “rings” are “square” and a “guinea pig” is neither from “Guinea” nor is it a “pig”.

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And why is it that “writers” “write”, but “fingers” don’t “fing”, “grocers” don’t “groce” and “hammers” don’t “ham”?

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If the plural of “tooth” is “teeth”, why isn’t the plural of “booth”, “beeth”? Why one “index”, but two or more “indices”?  Or why do you have one “goose” and two “geese”, and one “moose” but never two “meese”?

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You can make “amends” but what do you do if you have just one thing to amend? Or if you have a bunch of “odds and ends” and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call what’s left?

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If teachers “taught”, why didn’t preachers “praught”?

And if a “vegetarian” eats vegetables, what does a “humanitarian” eat?

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In what other language would people “recite at a play” and “play at a recital”; have “noses” that “run” and “feet” that “smell”; or send a “shipment” by “car” and “cargo” by “ship”?

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How can a “slim chance” and a “fat chance” be the same, while a “wise man” and a “wise guy” are opposites?

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Or why can people like the Amish “raise” a barn, meaning to “erect” a building, whereas everywhere else when we “raise” a building to the ground we mean we “demolish” it?

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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn “up” as it burns “down”; in which you “fill in” a form by “filling it out”; and in which an alarm goes “off” by going “on”.

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Even when you are standing still you can be part of the human “race” and you can look at the stars which are visible when they are “out”, unlike a light which is invisible when it is “out”.

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Finally, there is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is “UP”.

It’s easy to understand “UP”, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we “wake UP”? At a meeting, why does a topic “come UP”? Why do we “speak UP”?

Or do what I am going to do now, which is to “shut UP”.

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