I Love Grandfather Clocks. Big Time!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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And I love puns as well.

So brace yourselves for another selection of word plays.

Enjoy or endure!!

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It pains me to say it,

but I have a sore throat

 

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There was a knock at the door this morning,

so I opened it and there was a basin on the doorstep.

I thought, “I’d better let this sink in.”

 

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For the record I bought

a vinyl cleaning machine

 

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Having just punched a midget selling watches,

I know I’ve hit an all time low.

 

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Are there any fat people in Finland?

 

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Have you ever wondered what the

word for ‘dot’ looks like in braille?

 

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My girlfriend broke up with me

because of my obsession with puzzles.

There were a lot of cross words

 

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I can’t undo wrongs.

But I can write them.

 

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A friend dared me to steal a

flat-bottomed boat from the river.

I thought, “Why not. I’ll take a punt.”

 

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Everyone loved the baker.

He had a massive flan base.

 

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I don’t regard being a toastmaster a job,

it’s more a calling.

 

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The ten largest baseball stadiums hold

between 46,000 – 56,000 people.

Just some ballpark figures for you.

 

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My girlfriend asked me what I’d do with my life if I lost her.

I said it would be like breaking a pencil.

She said, “Do you mean it would be pointless?”

I said, “No, I’d just go out and buy another one.”

 

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I’ve just bought some ghost-shaped laxative tablets.

They scare the crap out of me.

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Another Bunch Of Interesting Things You Probably Never Thought About – Until Now!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”.

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As the title says, another  list of interesting bits and pieces that you may not have though about until now.

Feel free to whip them out and impress people if and when the occasion arises.

Enjoy.

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The tip of a bullwhip moves so fast that the sound it makes is actually a tiny sonic boom.

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Only 1 in 2,000,000,000 people will live to be 116 or old.

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Dogs and humans are the only species that have prostates.

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The zebra is basically a light-colored animal with black stripes.

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Natural pearls melt in Vinegar.

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The greatest weight lifted with a human tongue is 12.5 kg (27 lb 8.96 oz)

by Thomas Blackthorne (UK)

who lifted the weight hooked through his tongue

on the set of El Show Olímpico, in Mexico City, Mexico, on 1 August 2008.

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Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.

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Americans are responsible for about 1/5 of the world’s garbage annually

(and 2/3 of it is from Washington).

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The dot over the letter “i” is called a tittle.

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There are 318,979,564,000 possible combinations of the first four moves in Chess.

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The first CD pressed in the US was Bruce Springsteen’s “Born in the USA”.

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IBM’s motto is “Think”.

Apple later made their motto “Think different”.

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The Michelin man is known as Mr. Bib.

His name was Bibendum in the company’s first ads in 1896.

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There are more types of insects in one tropical rain forest tree

than there are in the entire state of Vermont.

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An ostrich’s eye might not be bigger than its belly,

but it is bigger than its brain.

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Earth is the only planet in our solar system not named after a god;

it was named by God.

Genesis 1 King James Version (KJV)

In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.

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