I Love Grandfather Clocks. Big Time!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

And I love puns as well.

So brace yourselves for another selection of word plays.

Enjoy or endure!!

.

rofl

.

It pains me to say it,

but I have a sore throat

 sore throat

.

.

There was a knock at the door this morning,

so I opened it and there was a basin on the doorstep.

I thought, “I’d better let this sink in.”

 sink

.

.

For the record I bought

a vinyl cleaning machine

 record

.

.

Having just punched a midget selling watches,

I know I’ve hit an all time low.

 watches

.

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Are there any fat people in Finland?

 fat people in Finland

.

.

Have you ever wondered what the

word for ‘dot’ looks like in braille?

 braille

.

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My girlfriend broke up with me

because of my obsession with puzzles.

There were a lot of cross words

 crossword

.

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I can’t undo wrongs.

But I can write them.

 write

.

.

A friend dared me to steal a

flat-bottomed boat from the river.

I thought, “Why not. I’ll take a punt.”

 punt

.

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Everyone loved the baker.

He had a massive flan base.

 massive flan

.

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I don’t regard being a toastmaster a job,

it’s more a calling.

 toastmaster

.

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The ten largest baseball stadiums hold

between 46,000 – 56,000 people.

Just some ballpark figures for you.

 baseball stadium

.

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My girlfriend asked me what I’d do with my life if I lost her.

I said it would be like breaking a pencil.

She said, “Do you mean it would be pointless?”

I said, “No, I’d just go out and buy another one.”

 breaking a pencil

.

.

I’ve just bought some ghost-shaped laxative tablets.

They scare the crap out of me.

ghost-shaped laxative

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