Understanding what is beyond the horizon is beyond me.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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But puns I do understand.

What is a little more puzzling is why I like them and why so many others do as well.

Still, we can figure out that conundrum another time.

For now it’s another Pun Day, so….

Enjoy or endure!

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rofl

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I bought a cheap Jack-in-a-box

and it’s not much good.

It doesn’t surprise me.

 cheap Jack-in-a-box

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Some guy came up to me in the street today

and said “Wow, you look odd.”

I replied “Well, so do you.”

“Guess that made us even.”

 odd and even

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I’ve just come back from the corner shop.

I bought four corners.

 corner shop

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So King Abdullah died,

that should sheikh things up a bit.

 King Abdullah

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I’ve got a part time job for a company

making rubberized computer keyboards.

It’s flexible shifts.

 rubberized computer keyboards

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Someone stopped me while I was jogging

this morning to ask why I had

duct tape over my mouth.

I didn’t answer.

It’s a running gag.

 duct tape over mouth

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A friend of mine bought a second hand

deck of cards from a casino in Las Vegas,

but after four weeks they hadn’t arrived.

When he asked for an update, they said

they were still dealing with his order.

 Las Vegas casino card packs

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Did you hear about the fisherman

who was learning Spanish

He got lost at Si

 fisherman

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I’m currently reading a book about

North African invaders during

Medieval times and can’t put it down.

Its very moorish.

 A Moor

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I looked up the definition of

the word “arbitrary” today.

For no particular reason.

 arbitrary definition

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My boss said,

“As part of our cost-saving drive we are

installing energy-efficient lights in the toilets.

They work on a motion detection system.”

I replied,

“That’s all fair and well, but what if

someone’s just going in for a pee?”

 CalvinPeeGIF

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A storm has ripped through

my coconut farm…

I’m desiccated.

 coconut cracked

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Whenever I find a pretty girl

I look for intelligence.

Because if she doesn’t have that,

then she’s mine!

 cute-cartoon-girl-20910042

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I always ask too many questions.

Does anybody know why this is?

 too many questions

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I text a friend the other day asking him

who his favorite composer is.

Surprisingly, he didn’t text Bach.

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Chocolate And Yoghurt, Just Two Of The Questions This Quiz Day!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Welcome to Quiz Day on the fasab blog.

Chocolate, yoghurt and a lot more make up today’s questions.

So why not pour yourself a cup of coffee too and have a go?

As usual, if you get stuck, you can find the answers waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please NO cheating!

Enjoy and good luck.

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Quiz_button 02

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Q.  1:  What are the names of the two famous Star Wars robots?

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Q.  2:  How many muscles does your body use to balance itself when you are standing still?

            a)  100             b)  200             c)  300             d)  400              e)  500

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Q.  3:  What is the name of the largest and oldest chocolate company in the U.S.?

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Q.  4:  ‘tcby’ now means ‘The Country’s Best Yogurt’ but what did the letters ‘tcby’ originally stand for?

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Q.  5:  Who was the leader of the Macedonian Empire?

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Q.  6:  Time to rack up a lot of points, what were the names of the six principal actors in the long running hit TV series ‘Friends’?  (Bonus points if you can also correctly name the characters they played.)

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Q.  7:  What is the name generally used for the traditional curved blade Japanese sword?

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Q.  8:  Recently they seem to be trying to put it back up again, but in what year was the Fall of the Iron Curtain?

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Q.  9:  Approximately how many pieces of ‘space junk’ are orbiting around Earth?

            a) over 4,000          b) over 6,000          c) over 8,000         d) over 10,000

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Q. 10:  There’s a new one out this year, but how many ‘Planet Of The Apes’ based movies have there been? (Bonus points if you can name them and even more bonus points if know the years they were released.)

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Q. 11:  Which two rivers meet at Khartoum to make the Nile?

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Q. 12:  Who, in 2012, became the first person to break the sound barrier, unprotected and under his own power?

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Q. 13:  During World War II approximately how many tanks were produced by American factories?

            a)  59,000           b)  69,000           c)  79,000           d)  89,000           e)  99,000

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Q. 14:  Who is the current Prime Minister of Canada?

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Q. 15:  Isadora Duncan, known as the mother of modern dance, was killed in an unusual way, how?

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Q. 16:  What is the recommended standard recreational diving limit for ordinary divers?

            a)  20 meters              b)  30 meters              c)  40 meters              d)  50 meters

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Q. 17:  In Las Vegas, what is the name of the ancient Egyptian themed hotel with a pyramid shaped casino?

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Q. 18:  What was the name of the mythical Roman god of war?

 

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Q. 19:  Who was ‘Dr Frasier Crane’ and his brother ‘Dr Niles Crane’? (A point for each correct answer.)

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Q. 20:  What musician is known as “The Boss” and what was the name of the band he played with? (A point for each correct answer.)

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  What are the names of the two famous Star Wars robots?

A.  1:  The two famous Star Wars robots are called 3CP0 and R2D2.

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Q.  2:  How many muscles does your body use to balance itself when you are standing still?

            a)  100             b)  200             c)  300             d)  400              e)  500

A.  2:  Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.

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Q.  3:  What is the name of the largest and oldest chocolate company in the U.S.?

A.  3:  The largest and oldest chocolate company in the U.S. is Hershey’s. Founded by Milton S. Hershey in 1894, this company produces over one billion pounds of chocolate products every year.

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Q.  4:  ‘tcby’ now means ‘The Country’s Best Yogurt’ but what did the letters ‘tcby’ originally stand for?

A.  4:  The letters ‘tcby’ originally stood for ‘This Can’t Be Yogurt’, but the name was changed after the company was sued by a rival company called ‘I Can’t Believe It’s Yogurt’.

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Q.  5:  Who was the leader of the Macedonian Empire?

A.  5:  Alexander the Great.

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Q.  6:  Time to rack up a lot of points, what were the names of the six principal actors in the long running hit TV series ‘Friends’?  (Bonus points if you can also correctly name the characters they played.)

A.  6:  The six ‘Friends’ were Jennifer Aniston as ‘Rachel Green’; Courteney Cox as Monica Geller; Lisa Kudrow as Phoebe Buffay; Matt LeBlanc as Joey Tribbiani; Matthew Perry as Chandler Bing; and David Schwimmer as Ross Geller.

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Q.  7:  What is the name generally used for the traditional curved blade Japanese sword?

A.  7:  The traditional curved blade Japanese sword is called a ‘Katana’.

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Q.  8:  Recently they seem to be trying to put it back up again, but in what year was the Fall of the Iron Curtain?

A.  8:  The Iron Curtain fell in 1989.

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Q.  9:  Approximately how many pieces of ‘space junk’ are orbiting around Earth?

            a) over 4,000          b) over 6,000          c) over 8,000         d) over 10,000

A.  9:  The correct answer is c) over 8,000.

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Q. 10:  There’s a new one out this year, but how many ‘Planet Of The Apes’ based movies have there been? (Bonus points if you can name them and even more bonus points if know the years they were released.)

A. 10:  There have been eight planet of the apes movies so far, ‘Planet of the Apes’ (1968); ‘Beneath the Planet of the Apes’ (1970); ‘Escape from the Planet of the Apes’ (1971); ‘Conquest of the Planet of the Apes’ (1972); ‘Battle for the Planet of the Apes’ (1973); ‘Planet of the Apes’ (2001); ‘Rise of the Planet of the Apes’ (2011); and ‘Dawn of the Planet of the Apes’ (2014).

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Q. 11:  Which two rivers meet at Khartoum to make the Nile?

A. 11:  It’s easier than you think, the two rivers that meet at Khartoum to make the Nile are the White & Blue Niles.

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Q. 12:  Who, in 2012, became the first person to break the sound barrier, unprotected and under his own power?

A. 12:  Felix Baumgartner became the first person to break the sound barrier, unprotected and under his own power. In his record breaking stunt he reached speeds of up to 834 mph.

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Q. 13:  During World War II approximately how many tanks were produced by American factories?

            a)  59,000           b)  69,000           c)  79,000           d)  89,000           e)  99,000

A. 13:  The correct answer is d) 89,000.

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Q. 14:  Who is the current Prime Minister of Canada?

A. 14:  Stephen Harper.

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Q. 15:  Isadora Duncan, known as the mother of modern dance, was killed in an unusual way, how?

A. 15:  Isadora Duncan was pulled from the vehicle in which she was a passenger and violently slammed against the road when her long scarf got caught in the wheel. Her neck was broken and she died on impact.

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Q. 16:  What is the recommended standard recreational diving limit for ordinary divers?

            a)  20 meters              b)  30 meters              c)  40 meters              d)  50 meters

A. 16:  The correct answer is b) 30 Meters (98 feet), the average depth at which nitrogen narcosis symptoms begin to appear in adults.

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Q. 17:  In Las Vegas, what is the name of the ancient Egyptian themed hotel with a pyramid shaped casino?

A. 17:  It’s called the ‘Luxor’.

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Q. 18:  What was the name of the mythical Roman god of war?

A. 18:  Mars.

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Q. 19:  Who was ‘Dr Frasier Crane’ and his brother ‘Dr Niles Crane’? (A point for each correct answer.)

A. 19:  They were Kelsey Grammar and David Hyde Pierce from the wonderful hit TV sitcom ‘Frasier’.

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Q. 20:  What musician is known as “The Boss” and what was the name of the band he played with? (A point for each correct answer.)

A. 20:  In the music world “The Boss” is Bruce Sprigsteen and he played with the E Street Band.

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It’s The Quiz!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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It’s the quiz again.

Time to test your knowledge of a wide range of subjects including geography, history, politics, music, movies, sport… even space!

And a lot of muli-pointers to give you the chance of building up a good score.

As usual if you get stuct you can find the answers waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please NO cheating!

Enjoy and good luck.

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Quiz 5

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Q.  1: What side of the road do you drive on in Japan, is it on the right (like the USA) or on the left (like Britain)?

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Q.  2: Who won this year’s (2014) Gentlemans and Ladies Singles titles at the world famous Wimbledon Tennis Tournament in England? (A point for each correct answer and a bonus point if you get both correct.)

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Q.  3: What is the most distant human-made object from Earth?

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Q.  4: What is the automobile that began as a project between Swatch and Mercedes most commonly known as?

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Q.  5: In the days when countries took control of other nations and territories overseas they were called Empires. Which country at one time controlled the largest Empire in the world (in terms of land area)?

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Q.  6: There are twelve buttons on a touch tone phone. What two symbols bear no digits?

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Q.  7: In which branch of the armed forces did William Hitler, a nephew of Adolf Hitler, serve during World War II?

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Q.  8: One chocolate chip can give you enough energy to walk approximately how many feet?

            a)  50 feet        b)  100 feet          c)  150 feet          d)  200 feet

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Q.  9: Plus or minus ten, The Bahamas consists of approximately how many islands?

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Q.  10: How many ‘Terminator’ movies have there been to date (2014)? (Bonus points if you can name them and the year they were released.)

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Q.  11: Who were the magician duo, known for their magic with big cats, who became the most successful and best known entertainers in Las Vegas?

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Q.  12: How many US Presidents have been assassinated? (A bonus point for each that you can name and even more points if you know where the assassinations took place and the names of the assassins.)

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Q.  13: If you added the number of players in a basket ball team, the number of players in an American football team, the number of players in a soccer team and the number of players in a rugby union team, what would be the total?

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Q.  14: Famous as Bret Maverick and Jim Rockford, who was he?

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Q.  15: What is the collective name for the 26 self-governing districts into which Switzerland is divided?

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Q.  16: The month of August falls within which two Zodiac signs?

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Q.  17: What was the name of the unexpected hit TV series about an unlikely duo who cook methamphetamine?

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Q.  18: Who is the current Prime Minister of Israel?

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Q.  19: Rolls-Royce Motor Cars Limited is currently owned by whom?

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Q.  20: What song by the group Queen made it to number 1 in the British charts twice, in 1976 and 1991?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1: What side of the road do you drive on in Japan, is it on the right (like the USA) or on the left (like Britain)?

A.  1: In Japan you must drive on the left side of the road.

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Q.  2: Who won this year’s (2014) Gentlemans and Ladies Singles titles at the world famous Wimbledon Tennis Tournament in England? (A point for each correct answer and a bonus point if you get both correct.)

A.  2: In the 2014 Wimbledon tennis tournament Novak Djokovic was the winner of the Gentlemen’s Singles and Petra Kvitova was the winner of the Ladies’ Singles.

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Q.  3: What is the most distant human-made object from Earth?

A.  3: The Voyager 1 spacecraft is the most distant human-made object from Earth.

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Q.  4: What is the automobile that began as a project between Swatch and Mercedes most commonly known as?

A.  4: It is called the “SMART car”, an abbreviation of its original code name, the Swatch & Mercedes Art Car.

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Q.  5: In the days when countries took control of other nations and territories overseas they were called Empires. Which country at one time controlled the largest Empire in the world (in terms of land area)?

A.  5: Britain, whose Empire at one stage was 33.2 million km2  (approximately 8.2 billion acres).

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Q.  6: There are twelve buttons on a touch tone phone. What two symbols bear no digits?

A.  6: The star *  and the hash #  buttons have no digits.

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Q.  7: In which branch of the armed forces did William Hitler, a nephew of Adolf Hitler, serve during World War II?

A.  7: Adolf Hitler’s nephew, William, served in the Navy during WWII – the U.S. Navy!

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Q.  8: One chocolate chip can give you enough energy to walk approximately how many feet?

            a)  50 feet        b)  100 feet          c)  150 feet          d)  200 feet

A.  8: The correct answer is c) 150 feet.

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Q.  9: Plus or minus ten, The Bahamas consists of approximately how many islands?

A.  9: The Bahamas consists of approximately 501 islands, give yourself a point if you said anything between 491 to 511.

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Q.  10: How many ‘Terminator’ movies have there been to date (2014)? (Bonus points if you can name them and the year they were released.)

A.  10: There have been four ‘Terminator’ movies to date (2014); they are ‘The Terminator’ (1984); ‘Terminator 2: Judgment Day’ (1991);  ‘Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines’ (2003);  and, ‘Terminator Salvation’ (2009). A fifth Terminator movie is in post production scheduled for release in 2015.

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Q.  11: Who were the magician duo, known for their magic with big cats, who became the most successful and best known entertainers in Las Vegas?

A.  11: Siegfried and Roy.

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Q.  12: How many US Presidents have been assassinated? (A bonus point for each that you can name and even more points if you know where the assassinations took place and the names of the assassins.)

A.  12: Four US Presidents have been assassinated: Abraham Lincoln, in Washington, D.C., on Good Friday, April 14, 1865, by John Wilkes Booth; James A. Garfield, also in Washington, D.C., on Saturday, July 2, 1881, by Charles J. Guiteau; William McKinley, in Buffalo, New York, on Friday, September 6, 1901, by Leon Czolgosz; and John F. Kennedy, in Dallas, Texas, on Friday, November 22, 1963, by Lee Harvey Oswald.

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Q.  13: If you added the number of players in a basket ball team, the number of players in an American football team, the number of players in a soccer team and the number of players in a rugby union team, what would be the total?

A.  13: The answer is 42  (5 + 11 + 11 + 15).

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Q.  14: Famous as Bret Maverick and Jim Rockford, who was he?

A.  14: He was James Garner, who sadly passed away on July 19, 2014.

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Q.  15: What is the collective name for the 26 self-governing districts into which Switzerland is divided?

A.  15: They are called ‘Cantons’.

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Q.  16: The month of August falls within which two Zodiac signs?

A.  16: The zodiac signs for the month of August are Leo (until August 22) and Virgo (from August 23 onwards).

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Q.  17: What was the name of the unexpected hit TV series about an unlikely duo who cook methamphetamine?

A.  17: Breaking Bad. The show originally aired on the AMC network for five seasons, from January 20, 2008 to September 29, 2013.

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Q.  18: Who is the current Prime Minister of Israel?

A.  18: Benjamin Netanyahu. (No points deducted if you get the spelling wrong.)

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Q.  19: Rolls-Royce Motor Cars Limited is currently owned by whom?

A.  19: Rolls-Royce Motor Cars Limited is a wholly owned subsidiary of BMW AG.

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Q.  20: What song by the group Queen made it to number 1 in the British charts twice, in 1976 and 1991?

A.  20: “Bohemian Rhapsody”.

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Facts? Fantastic! Here’s A Few More.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes, here are a few more fantastic facts to deposit in your knowledge bank.

Very random, but hopefully interesting.

And in case you are wondering, yes, I’m staying clear of St. Louis for obvious reasons.

Enjoy.

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did you know1

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It’s illegal to drink beer out of a bucket

while you’re sitting on a curb in St. Louis!

drink beer out of a bucket

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One ragweed plant can release as many as

one billion grains of pollen!

Solidago balsam ragweed plant

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The two-foot long bird called a Kea that lives in New Zealand

likes to eat the strips of rubber around car windows!

kea bird

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Skepticisms is the longest word

that alternates hands when typing!

keyboard

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The director of Cannibal Holocaust had to prove in court

that the actors were still alive and didn’t get killed during the movie

cannibal-holocaust-original

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A group of geese on the ground is a gaggle,

a group of geese in the air is a skein!

geese in the air

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Over 2500 left handed people a year are killed

from using products made for right handed people!

left handed people

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There are more than 10 million bricks

in the Empire State Building!

Looking Up at Empire State Building

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If you counted 24 hours a day,

it would take 31,688 years to reach one trillion!

1_trillion

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The sun is 330,330 times larger than the earth!

Solar_System_3

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Pinocchio is Italian for “pine eye”!

Pinocchio

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The Mint once considered producing

doughnut-shaped coins!

doughnut-shaped coins

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It’s against the law to pawn your dentures in Las Vegas!

false-teeth

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The average American/Canadian

drinks about 600 sodas a year!

sodas

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Bulls are color blind, and therefore will usually charge

at a matador’s waving cape no matter what color it is

— be it red or neon yellow!

 Bulls are color blind

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Did You Know? – It’s A First Tuesday Fact Feast!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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It’s the first Tuesday of 2014 so here are a few lesser known facts about the New Year, its traditions and its celebrations.

Enjoy.

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did you know4

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January is named after Janus, the god with two faces,

one looking forward and one looking backward.

janus

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The Scottish ‘First Footer’ tradition or superstition originates

in the belief that the first visitor on New Year’s Day would bring

either good luck or bad luck for the rest of the year,

depending on who he/she was.

First Footer

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The tradition of fireworks and making loud noises on New Year’s Eve

is believed to have originated in ancient times,

when noise and fire were thought to dispel evil spirits and bring good luck.

New-Years-Desktop-Pictures-New-Years-Eve-in-Sydney

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Traditionally, it was thought that people could alter the luck

they would have throughout the coming year

by what they did or ate on the first day of the year.

It has, therefore, become important to celebrate first day of the New Year

in the company of family and friends.

new year party

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Almost half of Americans make New Year’s Resolutions,

mainly about losing weight, stopping smoking, being better organized,

staying fit and healthy and spending less and saving more.

new year resolutions

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More than half of Americans who make New Year’s Resolutions

are able to keep them for less than a month.

resolutions broken

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In Denmark, it is a good sign when you find broken dishes in front of your door.

Danish people specially keep a few plates that they break

to place at their friends’ doors on New Year’s Eve.

broken plates

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Many parts of the U.S. celebrate New Year by consuming black-eyed peas

and other legumes, as it has been considered good luck in many cultures.

Black-Eyed-Peas

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Ancient Persians gave New Year’s gifts of eggs,

which symbolized productiveness.

Eggs

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“Auld Lang Syne” is traditionally sung at midnight on New Year’s Eve.

It was written by Scottish poet Robert Burns in 1788

and may have based it on a folk song.

The words “auld lang syne” mean “times gone by”.

Robert Burns

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More than a third of a billion glasses of Champagne and other sparkling wine

are consumed during the Christmas / New Year celebrations.

champagne glasses

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In Brazil at New Year many people dress in white

as a sign or hope for peace for the coming year.

brazil new year

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The Time Square New Year’s Eve Ball came about as a result of a ban on fireworks.

The first ball, in 1907, was an illuminated 700-pound iron and wood ball

adorned with one hundred 25-watt light bulbs.

Today, the round ball designed by Waterford Crystal, weighs 11,875-pounds,

is 12 feet in diameter and is bedazzled with 2,668 Waterford crystals.

The only time the New Year’s Eve ball was not lowered was

in 1942 and 1943 due to wartime restrictions.

times-square-ball

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The tradition of ringing in the New Year dates back four thousand years,

to the time of the Babylonians who celebrated it at

the first full moon after the spring equinox.

HNY Bells

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In 46 BC Julius Caesar made January 1st the first day of the year.

In England and its colonies, including America,

we didn’t do the same until 1752.

julius caesar

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The top three destinations in the United States

to ring in the New Year are

Las Vegas, Disney World and New York City.

Las Vegas New Years

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Many cultures believe that anything given or taken on New Year,

in the shape of a ring is good luck,

because it symbolizes “coming full circle”.

rings

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In America more vehicles are stolen on New Year’s Day

than on any other holiday throughout the year.

StolenCar

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The Spanish ritual on New Year’s Eve is to eat twelve grapes at midnight.

The tradition is meant to secure twelve happy months in the coming year.

12-uvas-nocheviejas

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The Ethiopian Calendar has twelve months with 30 days each and a

thirteenth month called Pagume with five or six days depending on the year.

Their current year is still 2006 and they celebrate New Years on September 11.

ethopian calendar

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========================================

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Hubble, Bubble, Toil And…………..Some Really Great Photographs!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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When I was a kid one of the things I loved to do was to go over to my cousin’s house at night during the winter months when it was dark. He lived out in the country on a farm – and he had a telescope. It wasn’t an expensive one, but it was a lot better than anything I, or any of my friends, had so to me it was great.

Many evenings we spent looking at the moon and the stars. It fascinated me then and it fascinates me to this day.

I never did get a telescope of my own. For one thing anything decent was always a lot more than I could afford when I was a kid and for another as I grew up so did the town where I lived. To the extent that there was so much ambient light from street lights, lights in houses and buildings etc., that there was very little left to see.

When I was in Las Vegas I did make a few trips well out into the Nevada desert which provided some fantastic results. You really have no idea just how many stars are out there until you can view them from somewhere very remote. (BTW, I think what I saw were all stars, but with Area 51 and all that, you’re never really sure. Cue some Twilight Zone music!)  

So how much better would it be if you had  telescope actually out there in space?

Well for the past few years we have, and it’s a LOT better as you will see.

But enough of an intro from me. There are other bloggers who can write with much more knowledge and passion about these things, such as Alex at Things I love, so I’ll sign off and let you look at some of the Hubble photographs that I though were worth sharing.

And whether you believe in Creation or that it is all the chaotic result of a big fart that came from nowhere, enjoy the wonder and beauty of what is out there.

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hubble-telescope

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hubble detail

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ant nebula hubble
ant nebula

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helix nebula hubble
helix nebula

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crab nebula hubble
crab nebula

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enigmatic cloud hubble
enigmatic cloud

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N90 hubble
N90

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centaur usa hubble
centaurus a

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edge on galaxy hubble
edge on galaxy

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spiral galaxy hubble
spiral galaxy

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red spider nebula hubble
red spider nebula

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tarantula nebula hubble
tarantula nebula

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Stephan's quintet of galaxies hubble
Stephan’s quintet of galaxies

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orion nebula hubble
orion nebula

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colliding galaxies hubble
colliding galaxies

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double cluster hubble
double cluster

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cats eye nebula hubble
cats eye nebula

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monocerotis hubble
monocerotis

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carina nebula hubble
carina nebula

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eagle nebula pillars of creation hubble
eagle nebula pillars of creation

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Fifteen Fascinating Facts From Fasab’s Flipping Files

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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I seem to be running out of ‘F’ words for my titles to these. Sorry for the repetition but I’m trying to avoid using the obvious in case it might offend.

Nevertheless, it’s time for a few more strange facts. Curious things that you probably never knew or even though of before. After you read this, of course, you will know them, whether you care to ever think of them again is entirely up to you.

Enjoy.

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If you mouth the word “Colorful”

it looks like you are mouthing “I Love You”.

animated-gif-love-you .

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Astronauts have a patch of velcro inside their helmets

so they can scratch their nose

astronaut velcro .

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Your cell phone has more bacteria than a toilet seat

toilet phone .

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About 75 acres of pizza are eaten in the U.S. everyday.

large pizza .

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It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery

than the celery had in it to begin with.

celery .

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Cleopatra married two of her brothers.

cleopatra .

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A single cup of gasoline, when ignited,

has the same explosive power as five sticks of dynamite.

ignition .

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Keeping you car tuned up is a good way to save on gas.

A car that is tuned up is 9% more efficient on gas.

tune up .

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Acupuncture was first used as a medical treatment

in 2700 BC by Chinese Emperor Shen-Nung.

acupuncture cartoon .

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13% of Americans actually believe

that some parts of the moon are made of cheese.

moon cheese .

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A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find a mate.

ferret .

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In ancient Rome,

when a man gave sworn evidence in court

he would swear on his testicles,

hence the term testifying.

holding .

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John Wilkes Booth’s brother once saved the life of Abraham Lincoln’s son.

Lincoln and son .

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There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos.

Rolling-the-Dice-in-Craps .

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The word “lethologica” describes the state of

not being able to remember the word you want.

lethologica 

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Did you try mouthing the word “Colorful” in a mirror?

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Fasab’s Eleven – Danny Ocean Eat Your Heart Out

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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When I was putting together yesterday’s post about crooks who had either been smart enough to get away with it or police who had been too dumb to catch them, the name Danny Ocean cropped up in relation to a heist in Belgium.

That put me in mind of the very popular movie remake of Ocean’s Eleven starring George Clooney, Brad Pitt, et al.

Ocean's Eleven
Ocean’s Eleven

The Clooney version of Ocean’s Eleven was a good piece of work. (We’ll not talk so much about the sequels!) Without spoiling the whole thing for those who haven’t yet seen the movie, basically the plot is to simultaneously steal $150 million from the Bellagio, Mirage and MGM Grand casinos in Las Vegas, all belonging to ruthless entrepreneur Terry Benedict (Andy Garcia). The money is being held in a state-of-the-art safe seventy yards underneath the Las Vegas Strip, with loads of hi-tech surveillance, laser beams, motion detectors and alarm systems to protect it.

Clooney/Ocean puts together a team of experienced professionals, proficient in skills from magic, pickpocteting, pyrotechnics, a card sharp, an electronics and surveillance expert and even a Chinese acrobat! 

The movie is full of special effects and great looking sets with hosts of electronic gadgets that are there to prevent people stealing the casino’s money, and loads of other gadgets that Ocean and his crew have assembled to defeat the former.

Even getting into the surveillance and restricted areas of the casinos is a huge problem that takes sophisticated planning and equipment and well worked plot lines.

casino security
casino security

But that’s Hollywood.

This blog is about reality.

I have spent quite a bit of time in Vegas, mostly on business but I enjoy playing in the casinos too.I even ended up in Federal Court there on one occasion, but that’s a story for another day. Suffice to say here that I like the place and the buzz that it has. Perhaps living there all the time would get to you, but for a visit I highly recommend it (take some money with you though!).

It just so happened that I was in Las Vegas about the time the Ocean’s Eleven movie was doing the rounds, probably 2002. One evening I found myself standing outside the Bellagio watching the fountain show (a great spectacle, see video) and of course my thoughts turned to the movie and all that had transpired. In my mind’s eye I could see Danny Ocean and the others in this very same place. It was a pleasant evening.

Me, Danny and the crew outside the Bellagio
Me, Danny and the crew outside the Bellagio

Within a couple of days of that, however, I discovered that my cell phone was missing. Had I mislaid it, had I dropped it, had it fallen out of my pocket in a restaurant or taxi, or had I had my pocket picked by one of Danny Ocean’s men? I thought the possibility of the latter was highly unlikely so I put it down to my own carelessness.

I was staying in one of the casino hotels, I won’t say which one, because I am sure things have changed a lot in the intervening ten years. But after checking my room for the phone I decided the next best thing to do was to ask the security guys in the hotel in the unlikely event that someone had found it and handed it in. It wasn’t an expensive phone, so I wasn’t too bothered, but one feels obliged to go through the motions when something like that happens.

So I made my way down to the casino on the ground floor and found one of the security guys. He pointed me in the direction of what I presumed was his superior and he in turn pointed me towards a rather non-descript single door on the other side of the casino floor.

After a long walk, circumnavigating numerous roulette and blackjack tables, I got to the door and pressed a buzzer on the intercom affair. To my surprise no one answered, but the door simply clicked open. I wasn’t sure what I should do, but always ready for an adventure I opened the door and went inside.

Man, talk about a disappointment. My crest was fallen on several levels!

Rather than being pleased with myself at the ease with which I had been able to dismantle the multi-million dollar security, I was actually disappointed that it hadn’t been a lot more difficult. I can talk my way (or blag, some people have said) into most places if I choose to do so, and I had been rehearsing various things that I was going to say when questioned. But here I was right in the heart of the casino surveillance system and no one had even spoken to me let alone challenge why I was there.

I was disappointed also by what I saw. Sure there were loads of cctv screens all showing different parts of the casino, different gambling tables and all that sort of thing. And a few obligatory computers. But it wasn’t like the movies. The equipment was clearly not new and the décor left a lot to be desired too, not quite tatty but showing a few years of wear and tear.

I wandered around for a minute or so taking it all in. If Ocean had picked me for his crew I would have had everyone tied up and the place taken over by now, I thought. But then the movie would have been about fifteen minutes long and very little tension and excitement (and box office takings) would have been generated.

Then one of the security guys detected my presence. He didn’t speak, just gave me one of those “Where the f*** did you come from?” looks.

I too was silent, I knew what he wasn’t saying, so I put my right hand inside my jacket and went for my silenced 9mm Walther PPK in its concealed shoulder holster. Well, no, not quite. I just retrieved my room keycard and ID which I thought might be required when everyone came to their senses.

It was. And I explained why I was there and who had sent me. After their initial surprise the guys in the security room were very friendly, but no phone had been handed in and they didn’t hold out much hope of me ever seeing it again, so after a bit of conversation I bid them farewell. I think it took longer to get me buzzed out than buzzed in, but hey that’s life.

Later that evening I again found myself leaning up against the front wall at the Bellagio watching the fountains. But this time Danny and the crew weren’t there, not even in my head. After what had happened earlier, it just wasn’t the same. It hasn’t been ever since!

Just me this time
Just me this time

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Ocean’s eleven trailer

End sequence

 

Video taken from Paris Casino’s Eiffel Tower Observation Point, on March 11,2007