“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
.
And if you were an optimist who thought there would be no puns in June, then your membership of the society is in doubt too.
Here’s the latest batch.
Enjoy or endure!
.
.
Some people have a way with words,
others not have way.
.
.
My friend received an email yesterday asking him
to send trouser zips to the address provided.
I told him to ignore it,
it sounds like they are fly phishing.
.
.
I thought growing my own lettuce would be difficult
but it was quite easy in the end.
It’s not rocket science.
.
.
A policeman asked me to come down
to the station for an interview.
I haven’t even applied for a job there.
.
.
This linguistics professor was lecturing the class.
“In English,” he explained, “a double negative forms a positive.
In some languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative.”
“However,” the professor continued, “there is no language wherein
a double positive can form a negative.”
Immediately, a voice from the back of the room piped up:
“Yeah….. right….”
.
.
I remember when my parents died,
all they left me was a globe.
It meant the world to me….
.
.
If I had a billion pounds
for every time I underestimated…
I would be a millionaire.
.
.
My mate Steven, who shares the same name as me,
thought it was funny to erase the letters ‘St’ from my pencil case.
So, during break, I did the same to his.
Now we’re even.
.
.
My father worked in a steel fabrication plant.
They didn’t produce anything,
they just said they did.
.
.
Jimmy: “Can I ask you a question?”
Ted: “Sure, what is it?”
Jimmy: “It’s an interrogative statement, used to test knowledge.”
.
.
I have no idea what the opposite of imagination is.
.
.
After hearing my son saying,
“I want to be good with acoustic,”
I decided to buy him a guitar.
Turns out he wanted a pool cue.
.
.
The Internet now has the second largest collection of jokes in the world…
The House of Representatives is still hanging on to the top spot.
.
.
I told my mum I was going out for a walk.
She said, “How long will you be gone?”
I said, “Probably the whole time”
.
.
Look, at the end of the day
….. it’s night!
.
.
=======================================
.
fasab 