“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
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Yes, that’s right, The primary responsibility for a child’s education is apparent.
But everyone’s education would not be complete without a healthy dose of puns.
Always here to help, here’s today’s selection.
Enjoy!
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I went into a fancy dress shop and asked the woman
working there if they had any ghost costumes.
She said “We don’t sell those, I’m afraid.”
Stupid woman. They’re not that scary.
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ABC NEWS:
French Chef commits suicide after critic’s attack.
After further investigation it turns out
he simply lost the huile d’olive.
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I went to a really posh school.
In fact, the school was so posh that the Gym was called James.
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I have a friend who’s half Indian.
Ian.
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Cleavage is the only thing that you can look down on
and approve of at the same time.
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My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday because of my obsession.
She said, “I’m sick of it. You actually believe that you’re a Transformer.
It’s stupid. I’ve had enough and I’m leaving you.”
I said, “But, Baby, I can change.”
She said, “There you go again!”
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I put a couple of ‘t’s in my beer last night.
I think it made it better.
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Shouldn’t the Air and Space museum be empty?
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I put a wooden desk and a blackboard in my bedroom.
You know, to make it more classy.
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I was only young when I learned to count.
It was odd at first, even then.
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In a cave, I found pictures of women’s breasts,
but when I picked them up, a giant net fell on me.
Damn booby trap.
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I make £1,000,000 a month cleaning Windows.
I invented Norton Anti-virus.
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My parents gave me a really cheap dictionary for my birthday yesterday.
I couldn’t find the words to thank them.
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I never let my children watch big band performances on TV.
Too much sax and violins.
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There’s one thing I can’t stand when I’m drunk.
Up!
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Einstein eventually developed a theory about space.
And it was about time too.
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I’m so broke at the moment that all I can
afford to eat are herbs my mate has lent me.
I’m living on borrowed thyme.
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I’ve just seen a group on Facebook called, ‘I hate feet’.
Obviously these people are fans of the metric system.
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Talking to her about computer hardware,
makes my mother board.
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My wife has packed her bags and gone –
just because of my fetish with touching pasta.
I’m feeling cannelloni right now.
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Man, these are so corny there good.
Corn tends to be a house specialty 🙂
Yikes!
Yikes is right. The Kid’s an amateur, a puny attempt you might say 🙂
I aim is to be worse than yours.
It’s not easy, but I think you’re getting there 🙂
No wonder you’re having so many problems, you have a wife AND a girlfriend! 😉
But shouldn’t there be TWO things you can both look down on AND approve? (Or would that be three? 😀 ) And why, if a woman has two … um … boobs, does she only put on one bra? And one posterior into a pair of panties? Or am I a telephone repair man looking at electrical wires – working up the wrong post? :p
Love the title of this post. Unfortunately, I think I’ve seen this actual title on a billboard somewhere… :0
Not unfortunately, the more people who get exposed to puns the better 🙂