Avoirdupois! – It Must Be Quiz Day.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Sorry about the language, but it is quiz day again. Don’t the weeks fly in.

Another random selection, some easy, some difficult and maybe a tricky one in there somewhere too.

And remember, if you get stuck, you can find the answers waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please NO cheating!

Enjoy and good luck.

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quiz 09

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Q.  1:  Which colorless, odorless light gas is used to lift airships?

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Q.  2:  What gas, produced by rotting vegetation, causes the phenomenon known as ‘will o’ the wisp’?

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Q.  3:  In avoirdupois weight what is equivalent to 1016.5 kilograms?

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Q.  4:  There are 3 major food groups (excluding vitamins and minerals). Protein is one. What are the other two? (A point for each correct answer.)

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Q.  5:  What animal has ‘Indian’, ‘African’, ‘Black’ and ‘Broad Lipped’ varieties?

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Q.  6:  Who was the first to suggest using contact lenses to improve vision?

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Q.  7:  Which metallic element has the chemical symbol ‘Pb’ and atomic number 82?

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Q.  8:  What does a somnambulist do?

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Q.  9:  The native Indians of South America used a bitter poison to tip their arrows, what was it called?

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Q. 10:  What is the green pigment found in most plants that is responsible for absorbing light energy?

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Q. 11:  If you were an ‘Ungulate’ what would you have?

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Q. 12:  What is the most northern county of the Republic of Ireland?

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Q. 13:  In chemistry, which chart shows elements arranged in groups having similar properties?

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Q. 14:  What is the name of the biggest airline company in the United Kingdom?

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Q. 15:  In which country are the mysterious ‘Nazca lines’ to be found?

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Q. 16:  What is the only known substance that naturally exists on Earth in all three chemical states?

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Q. 17:  Which athletics discipline was revolutionized by Dick Fosbury?

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Q. 18:  Who developed the most-used projection for maps of the world in 1569?

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Q. 19:  Who was The Terminator trying to kill in the first movie of that name and who was he trying to save in the second?

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Q. 20:  Which country pop singer was born ‘Eilleen Regina Edwards’?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  Which colorless, odorless light gas is used to lift airships?

A.  1:  Helium.

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Q.  2:  What gas, produced by rotting vegetation, causes the phenomenon known as ‘will o’ the wisp’?

A.  2:  Methane.

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Q.  3:  In avoirdupois weight what is equivalent to 1016.5 kilograms?

A.  3:  A Ton.

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Q.  4:  There are 3 major food groups (excluding vitamins and minerals). Protein is one. What are the other two? (A point for each correct answer.)

A.  4:  Carbohydrate and fat.

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Q.  5:  What animal has ‘Indian’, ‘African’, ‘Black’ and ‘Broad Lipped’ varieties?

A.  5:  The Rhinoceros.

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Q.  6:  Who was the first to suggest using contact lenses to improve vision?

A.  6:  Leonardo da Vinci. (If it isn’t someone else it’s usually him. 🙂 )

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Q.  7:  Which metallic element has the chemical symbol ‘Pb’ and atomic number 82?

A.  7:  Lead.

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Q.  8:  What does a somnambulist do?

A.  8:  Sleep walks.

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Q.  9:  The native Indians of South America used a bitter poison to tip their arrows, what was it called?

A.  9:  Curare.

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Q. 10:  What is the green pigment found in most plants that is responsible for absorbing light energy?

A. 10:  Chlorophyll. (No point deducted if you got the spelling slightly wrong.)

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Q. 11:  If you were an ‘Ungulate’ what would you have?

A. 11:  Hooves.

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Q. 12:  What is the most northern county of the Republic of Ireland?

A. 12:  Donegal.

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Q. 13:  In chemistry, which chart shows elements arranged in groups having similar properties?

A. 13:  The periodic table.

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Q. 14:  What is the name of the biggest airline company in the United Kingdom?

A. 14:  British Airways.

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Q. 15:  In which country are the mysterious ‘Nazca lines’ to be found?

A. 15:  Peru.

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Q. 16:  What is the only known substance that naturally exists on Earth in all three chemical states?

A. 16:  Water.

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Q. 17:  Which athletics discipline was revolutionized by Dick Fosbury?

A. 17:  The high jump.

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Q. 18:  Who developed the most-used projection for maps of the world in 1569?

A. 18:  Gerard Mercator. (You get the point for the surname only.)

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Q. 19:  Who was The Terminator trying to kill in the first movie of that name and who was he trying to save in the second?

A. 19:  Sarah Connor in both the movies.

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Q. 20:  Which country pop singer was born Eilleen Regina Edwards?

A. 20:  Shania Twain.  (Here she is …. )

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Why Is Luke Always Warm?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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I hope you are keeping warm too.

Warm enough to Luke at a few more word plays because it’s Pun Day again.

You know what’s next…

Enjoy or endure!.

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rofl

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Just been to Greenwich in London.

Had a mean time.

London-Greenwich_Mean_Time

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There’s something I don’t like

about using touch screen technology

I just can’t put my finger on it.

touch screen technology

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I’ve just been offered

a free sky diving experience.

I’m not falling for it.

sky diving

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‘It’s the quiet ones that you’ve got to watch’

Especially at mime shows.

mime shows

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My new bulimia charity campaign

has been quite successful.

I’ve received a lot of feedback.

bulimia girl

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What do you call

an Indian in a cupboard?

A hiding Sikh.

sikh park 6

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What is a cocaine addicts

favorite type of joke?

A one liner

one line of coke

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Shotgun wedding:

A case of wife or death.

Shotgun wedding

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A French man walks in to a chiropodists and says

“I’ve got problems with defeat”

feet

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I’ve started dating couches,

but I’ve had no luck sofa.

sofa

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It’s hard to say what my sister does,

working for a travel agency.

She sells Seychelles overseas tours.

working for a travel agency

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I always get back on my bike when I fall off.

I’m a firm believer in recycling.

get back on my bike

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My friend, Angus finds it funny

not to pronounce the letter ‘g’.

Bit of an asshole really.

angus

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I had a dream last night that

our local Market had shrunk.

I woke up and thought,

“That’s a little Bazaar.”

a little Bazaar

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I just came back from a Blur concert.

I didn’t see much.

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Another Quiz For Monday.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Hi, and welcome to another quiz for Monday.

A random mixture of general knowledge, history, geography, politics, sport, movies, etc., all designed to get you thinking.

As usual, if you get stuck, the answers can be found waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please NO cheating!

Enjoy and good luck.

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quiz 8

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Q.  1:  Name the only boxer to knock out Mohammed Ali?

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Q.  2:  In what Clint Eastwood movie did Gene Hackman appear as the President of the United States?

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Q.  3:  When Steve Jobs set up the Apple computer company in 1976 who was his partner?

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Q.  4:  What phrase was used to describe the German empire under Hitler?

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Q.  5:  Which Shakespearean character, haunted by the ghost of his murdered father, shares his name with a small settlement of people?

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Q.  6:  Which group was made up of a cowboy, an Indian, a policeman, a biker, a GI and a builder?

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Q.  7:  Which war drama, first seen on British Television in October 1972, depicted life in a German castle used for prisoners of war?

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Q.  8:  Who murdered the well known singer Marvin Gay?

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Q.  9:  What is the Spanish word for ‘Conqueror’?

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Q. 10:  The term “Expletive Deleted” came into fashion as a result of the publication of the transcript of what?

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Q. 11:  Which notorious gang were involved in the famous gunfight against the Earp brothers and Doc Holliday at the O.K Corral?

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Q. 12:  How did David kill Goliath?

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Q. 13:  Which island volcano is west of Java, unless in the movie where it is east of Java, and erupted in 1883 causing 36,000 deaths?

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Q. 14:  Who published ‘Centuries’ in 1555, a book of rhyming prophesies going up to the year 3797?

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Q. 15:  The Clayton Bulwer Treaty signed in 1850 concerned the construction of what?

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Q. 16:  In which year was the first Afro-American elected to the US Congress?

            a) 1870,           b) 1906,           c) 1928           d) 1960

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Q. 17:  Who is the only US president to have never been elected?

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Q. 18:  Which company owned most of what is now called Canada in the early colonial days?

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Q. 19:  Which country has the world’s oldest flag?

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Q. 20:  Which famous actor sang ‘We Are Ready’ at the end of the opening ceremony of the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  Name the only boxer to knock out Mohammed Ali?

A.  1:  Larry Holmes, in 1980.

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Q.  2:  In what Clint Eastwood movie did Gene Hackman appear as the President of the United States?

A.  2:  Absolute Power.

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Q.  3:  When Steve Jobs set up the Apple computer company in 1976 who was his partner?

A.  3:  Stephen Wozniak.

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Q.  4:  What phrase was used to describe the German empire under Hitler?

A.  4:  It was known as the ‘Third Reich’.

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Q.  5:  Which Shakespearean character, haunted by the ghost of his murdered father, shares his name with a small settlement of people?

A.  5:  Hamlet.

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Q.  6:  Which group was made up of a cowboy, an Indian, a policeman, a biker, a GI and a builder?

A.  6:  Village People.

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Q.  7:  Which war drama, first seen on British Television in October 1972, depicted life in a German castle used for prisoners of war?

A.  7:  Colditz.

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Q.  8:  Who murdered the well known singer Marvin Gay?

A.  8:  His father.

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Q.  9:  What is the Spanish word for ‘Conqueror’?

A.  9:  Conquistador.

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Q. 10:  The term “Expletive Deleted” came into fashion as a result of the publication of the transcript of what?

A. 10:  The Watergate Tapes.

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Q. 11:  Which notorious gang were involved in the famous gunfight against the Earp brothers and Doc Holliday at the O.K Corral?

A. 11:  The Clantons.

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Q. 12:  How did David kill Goliath?

A. 12:  With a stone from a sling.

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Q. 13:  Which island volcano is west of Java, unless in the movie where it is east of Java, and erupted in 1883 causing 36,000 deaths?

A. 13:  Krakatoa.

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Q. 14:  Who published ‘Centuries’ in 1555, a book of rhyming prophesies going up to the year 3797?

A. 14:  Nostradamus.

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Q. 15:  The Clayton Bulwer Treaty signed in 1850 concerned the construction of what?

A. 15:  Panama Canal.

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Q. 16:  In which year was the first Afro-American elected to the US Congress?

            a) 1870,           b) 1906,           c) 1928           d) 1960

A. 16:  a) 1870.

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Q. 17:  Who is the only US president to have never been elected?

A. 17:  Gerald Ford.

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Q. 18:  Which company owned most of what is now called Canada in the early colonial days?

A. 18:  The Hudson Bay Company.

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Q. 19:  Which country has the world’s oldest flag?

A. 19:  Denmark. (Maybe we should have a whip round and buy them a new one?)

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Q. 20:  Which famous actor sang ‘We Are Ready’ at the end of the opening ceremony of the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games?

A. 20:  Jackie Chan.

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If It’s Monday It Must Be Quiz Day!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Another chance to pit your wits against the fasab quiz archives with another random set of twenty questions.

Although there are one or two very easy ones, I think quite a lot of them are difficult this time, but here’s your chance to prove me wrong.

As always the answers are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below – but NO cheating.

Enjoy and good luck!

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quiz 10

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Q.  1: What does the http:// in web URLs stand for?

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Q.  2:  What is the hood ornament on a Rolls Royce called?

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Q.  3:  Which former president of the United States, in his college days, worked as a male model, and even appeared on the cover of Cosmopolitan?

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Q.  4:  In what country would you find the strangely named lakes “Titicaca” and “Poopo”?

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Q.  5:  Sleeping through the winter is called “hibernation,” but what is the word that describes sleeping through hot and dry periods like summer?

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Q.  6:  Members of the band “ZZ Top” are famous for their beards, but what was the surname of the only member who hadn’t got one?

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Q.  7:  In 1918 the so-called “Spanish Flu” spread around the world killing tens of millions of people, but where did the outbreak start?

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Q.  8:  Who was the only U.S. president never to sign a bill into law?

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Q.  9:  On which continent are the 50 tallest mountains on Earth are all located? (This is easy if you think about it)

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Q. 10:  Which world famous company’s name means “three oceans” in Japanese because the company’s founder wanted to sell his wares across the Indian, Atlantic, and Pacific oceans?

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Q. 11:  How old was Albert Einstein, a genius if ever there was one, when he learned how to drive?

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Q. 12:  What was the first ever registered domain name?

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Q. 13:  What city is America’s skyscraper capital?

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Q. 14:  Earlier this month the United States celebrated its birthday, but what is the only other country in the world to celebrate its birthday on July 4th?

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Q. 15:  Who is O’Hare International Airport in Chicago, Illinois named after?

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Q. 16:  The citizens of which country eat more donuts per capita than any other?

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Q. 17:  What European country is the world’s leading exporter of false teeth?

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Q. 18:  At more than 3.3 million square miles, what is the name of the world’s largest hot desert?

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Q. 19:  We have all seen a Snellen Chart, but what is it?

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Q. 20:  Possibly some of you have said “!#@%” when faced with a difficult question in this test, but what is the name for symbols such as “!#@%” that are used to indicate swearing in comic strips?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1: What does the http:// in web URLs stand for?

A.  1:  The http:// in web URLs stands for “Hyper Text Transfer Protocol.”

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Q.  2:  What is the hood ornament on a Rolls Royce called?

A.  2:  The Spirit of Ecstasy.

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Q.  3:  Which former president of the United States in his college days, worked as a male model, and even appeared on the cover of Cosmopolitan?

A.  3:  Former president Gerald Ford wasn’t always gray-haired and paunchy — in his college days, he worked as a male model, and even appeared on the cover of Cosmopolitan.

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Q.  4:  In what country would you find the strangely named lakes “Titicaca” and “Poopo”?

A.  4:  In Bolivia, South America.

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Q.  5:  Sleeping through the winter is called “hibernation,” but what is the word that describes sleeping through hot and dry periods like summer?

A.  5:  Sleeping through hot and dry periods like summer is called “estivation.”

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Q.  6:  Members of the band “ZZ Top” are famous for their beards, but what was the surname of the only member who hadn’t got one?

A.  6:  Ironically, the only member of ZZ Top without a beard has the last name Beard.

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Q.  7:  In 1918 the so-called “Spanish Flu” spread around the world killing tens of millions of people, but where did the outbreak start?

A.  7:  The so-called “Spanish Flu” of 1918 started at a military camp in Kansas before spreading around the world and killing millions.

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Q.  8:  Who was the only U.S. president never to sign a bill into law?

A.  8:  William Henry Harrison was the only U.S. president never to sign a bill into law — he died before having the opportunity.

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Q.  9:  On which continent are the 50 tallest mountains on Earth are all located? (This is easy if you think about it)

A.  9:  Mount Everest, the tallest mountain on Earth is located in the Himalayas in Asia so since it has to be one of the 50 tallest mountains on Earth, they all have to be located in Asia.

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Q. 10:  Which world famous company’s name means “three oceans” in Japanese because the company’s founder wanted to sell his wares across the Indian, Atlantic, and Pacific oceans?

A. 10:  Sanyo means “three oceans” in Japanese.

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Q. 11:  How old was Albert Einstein, a genius if ever there was one, when he learned how to drive?

A. 11:  Albert Einstein never learned how to drive.

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Q. 12:  What was the first ever registered domain name?

A. 12:  The first registered domain name was symbolics.com. It was registered on March 15th, 1985.

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Q. 13:  What city is America’s skyscraper capital?

A. 13:  Chicago is America’s skyscraper capital. The city has more 1,000-foot tall buildings than any other U.S. city.

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Q. 14:  Earlier this month the United States celebrated its birthday, but what is the only other country in the world to celebrate its birthday on July 4th?

A. 14:  The only other country in the world to celebrate the United States’ birthday, July 4th, is Denmark.

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Q. 15:  Who is O’Hare International Airport in Chicago, Illinois named after?

A. 15:  O’Hare International Airport in Chicago, Illinois is named after Al Capone’s lawyer’s son, Lt. Cmdr. Butch O’Hare.

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Q. 16:  The citizens of which country eat more donuts per capita than any other?

A. 16:  Canadians eat more donuts per capita than any other country.

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Q. 17:  What European country is the world’s leading exporter of false teeth?

A. 17:  Liechtenstein is the world’s leading exporter of false teeth.

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Q. 18:  At more than 3.3 million square miles, what is the name of the world’s largest hot desert?

A. 18:  At more than 3.3 million square miles, the Sahara Desert is as large as the world’s next 20 largest hot deserts combined.

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Q. 19:  We have all seen a Snellen Chart, but what is it?

A. 19:  The eye test chart with the big ‘E’ on top is known as the Snellen Chart.

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Q. 20:  Possibly some of you have said “!#@%” when faced with a difficult question in this test, but what is the name for symbols such as “!#@%” that are used to indicate swearing in comic strips?

A. 20:  Symbols such as “!#@%” that are used to indicate swearing in comic strips are called grawlix.

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The Primary Responsibility For A Child’s Education Is Apparent.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes, that’s right, The primary responsibility for a child’s education is apparent.

But everyone’s education would not be complete without a healthy dose of puns.

Always here to help, here’s today’s selection.

Enjoy!

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I went into a fancy dress shop and asked the woman

working there if they had any ghost costumes.

She said “We don’t sell those, I’m afraid.”

Stupid woman. They’re not that scary.

ghost-towel

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ABC NEWS:

French Chef commits suicide after critic’s attack.

After further investigation it turns out

he simply lost the huile d’olive.

huile-d-olive

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I went to a really posh school.

In fact, the school was so posh that the Gym was called James.

gym cartoon

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I have a friend who’s half Indian.

Ian.

half indian

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Cleavage is the only thing that you can look down on

and approve of at the same time.

cleavage

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My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday because of my obsession.

She said, “I’m sick of it. You actually believe that you’re a Transformer.

It’s stupid. I’ve had enough and I’m leaving you.”

I said, “But, Baby, I can change.”

She said, “There you go again!”

Transformer

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I put a couple of ‘t’s in my beer last night.

I think it made it better.

BeerBetter

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Shouldn’t the Air and Space museum be empty?

air and space museum

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I put a wooden desk and a blackboard in my bedroom.

You know, to make it more classy.

school desk

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I was only young when I learned to count.

It was odd at first, even then.

cartoon-numbers-set

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In a cave, I found pictures of women’s breasts,

but when I picked them up, a giant net fell on me.

Damn booby trap.

booby_traps_by_vmv_81-d3ickn1

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I make £1,000,000 a month cleaning Windows.

I invented Norton Anti-virus.

Norton

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My parents gave me a really cheap dictionary for my birthday yesterday.

I couldn’t find the words to thank them.

dictionary

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I never let my children watch big band performances on TV.

Too much sax and violins.

sax_and_violins

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There’s one thing I can’t stand when I’m drunk.

Up!

drunk

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Einstein eventually developed a theory about space.

And it was about time too.

albert_einstein_328565

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I’m so broke at the moment that all I can

afford to eat are herbs my mate has lent me.

I’m living on borrowed thyme.

thyme

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I’ve just seen a group on Facebook called, ‘I hate feet’.

Obviously these people are fans of the metric system.

metric-system-copyright-Allan-Inman

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Talking to her about computer hardware,

makes my mother board.

motherboard

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My wife has packed her bags and gone –

just because of my fetish with touching pasta.

I’m feeling cannelloni right now.

pasta

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More Random Samples From The Fasab Fact File

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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If its facts you want we have them!

So here is another selection.

If you can’t find something you don’t know in here then you know far too much.

Enjoy.

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did you know3

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“Kemo Sabe”, the name Tonto called The Lone Ranger

means “Soggy Shrub” in Navajo Indian.

The Tonto in Spanish means “a fool”.

Lone Ranger and Tonto

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Ketchup was sold in the 1830’s as medicine.

ketchup

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Killer whales have such a good sense of touch

that if you dropped a pill into a bucket

and feed it to the orca

it would eat the fish and spit out the pill.

Shamu_the_Killer_Whale_Sea_World_Orlando

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Kleenex tissues were originally used as filters in gas masks.

Kleenex

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Knitted socks discovered in Ancient Egyptian tombs

have been dated back as far as the 3rd century AD.

Oh mummy!

knitted socks

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Larry Lewis ran the 100 yard dash in 17.9 seconds in 1969,

there by setting a new world’s record

for runners in the 100 years or older class.

He was 101.

old-runner

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5% of Canadians don’t know the first 7 words of the Canadian anthem,

but know the first 9 of the American anthem.

Canadian Anthem

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7% of Americans don’t know the first 9 words of the American anthem,

but know the first 7 of the Canadian anthem.

American Anthem

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85,000,000 tons of paper are used each year in the U.S.

paper

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99% of the solar system’s mass is concentrated in the sun.

sun-etc

.

.

There is a company in Taiwan makes dinnerware

out of wheat, so you can eat your plate.

wheat dinnerware

.

.

About 70% of Americans who go to college

do it just to make more money.

(The rest are just avoiding reality for four more years.)

college

.

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America once issued a 5-cent bill.

5 Cent Bill

.

.

The Aztec emperor Montezuma had a nephew named Cuitlahuac,

whose name meant “plenty of excrement.”

Now there’s revenge for you!

cuitlahuac_realista

.

.

Clans of long ago that wanted to get rid of

their unwanted people without killing them

used to burn their houses down

– hence the expression “to get fired.”

youre-fired

.

.

Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland

because he doesn’t wear pants

– the little pecker!

donald_duck

.

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Marijuana is not as chemically addictive

as is nicotine, alcohol, or caffeine.

One of the reasons marijuana is illegal today

is because in the 1930’s cotton growers lobbied against

hemp farmers whom they saw it as competition.

marijuana-leaf

.

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Special playing cards were issued to British pilots in WWII.

If captured, they could be soaked in water

and unfolded to reveal a map for escape.

map-card

.

.

The three best-known western names in China are

Jesus Christ, Richard Nixon, and Elvis Presley.

Nixon and Elvis

.

.

Lady Astor once told Winston Churchill,

‘If you were my husband, I would poison your coffee’.

To which Churchill replied,

‘If you were my wife, I would drink it’.

Astor vs Churchill

.

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