Did You Know – The More I Know, The More I Know I Don’t know.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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This is a bit Donald Rumsfeld, but it is certainly true that the more of these facts I see, the more I know I don’t know, except I would know if I could remember them all.

But enough of that.

Let’s get on with today’s lot.

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did you know3

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The official state vegetable of Oklahoma

is the watermelon.

watermelon, official state vegetable of Oklahoma

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Horses cannot breathe through their mouths.

Horse's mouth

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The word ‘Hazard’ comes from the Arabic ‘al zahr’ which means ‘the dice’.

The term came to be associated with dice during the Crusades

and eventually took on a negative connotation because

games of dice were associated with gambling.

Hazard sign

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If you eat a teaspoon of sugar after eating something spicy,

it will completely neutralize the heat.

teaspoon of sugar

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When the oldest person on Earth was born,

there was a completely different set of people on the planet.

oldest person on Earth

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The last veteran of the American Civil War died in 1956,

long enough to see the atomic bomb dropped in Japan.

Albert_Woolson_(ca._1953)
Albert Henry Woolson, last surviving Civil War veteran on either side whose status is undisputed.

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A “butt load” is an actual unit of measurement,

equivalent to 126 gallons.

butt load - giant_ass_in_seat

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The word ‘posh’, which denotes luxurious rooms or accommodations,

originated when ticket agents in England

marked the tickets of travelers going by ship to the Orient.

Since there was no air conditioning in those days,

it was always better to have a cabin on the shady side of the ship

as it passed through the Mediterranean and Suez area.

Since the sun is in the south, those with money paid extra

to get cabins on the left, or port, traveling to the Asia,

and on the right, or starboard, when returning to Europe.

Hence their tickets were marked with the initials for

Port Outbound Starboard Homebound, or POSH.

POSH logo black_full

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Nepal is the only country without a rectangular flag,

it looks like two pennants glued one on top of the other.

Nepal-Flag

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Dr Seuss wrote “Green Eggs And Ham”

to win a bet against his publisher

who thought that Seuss could not complete

a book using only 50 words.

Green Eggs And Ham Dr Seuss

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Crocodiles are more closely related to birds than to lizards.

american-crocodile

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Not only was James Garfield ambidextrous,

he could write Latin with one hand

and Greek with the other at the same time.

James Garfield ambidextrous

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Shakespeare and Pocahontas

were alive at the same time.

Shakespeare and Pocahontas

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Kiribati is the first country in the world

that will be entirely lost due to rising sea levels.

They are already planning the complete and

permanent evacuation of the population.

Kiribati

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Duddley Do Right’s Horses name was “Horse.”

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The Primary Responsibility For A Child’s Education Is Apparent.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes, that’s right, The primary responsibility for a child’s education is apparent.

But everyone’s education would not be complete without a healthy dose of puns.

Always here to help, here’s today’s selection.

Enjoy!

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I went into a fancy dress shop and asked the woman

working there if they had any ghost costumes.

She said “We don’t sell those, I’m afraid.”

Stupid woman. They’re not that scary.

ghost-towel

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ABC NEWS:

French Chef commits suicide after critic’s attack.

After further investigation it turns out

he simply lost the huile d’olive.

huile-d-olive

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I went to a really posh school.

In fact, the school was so posh that the Gym was called James.

gym cartoon

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I have a friend who’s half Indian.

Ian.

half indian

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Cleavage is the only thing that you can look down on

and approve of at the same time.

cleavage

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My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday because of my obsession.

She said, “I’m sick of it. You actually believe that you’re a Transformer.

It’s stupid. I’ve had enough and I’m leaving you.”

I said, “But, Baby, I can change.”

She said, “There you go again!”

Transformer

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I put a couple of ‘t’s in my beer last night.

I think it made it better.

BeerBetter

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Shouldn’t the Air and Space museum be empty?

air and space museum

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I put a wooden desk and a blackboard in my bedroom.

You know, to make it more classy.

school desk

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I was only young when I learned to count.

It was odd at first, even then.

cartoon-numbers-set

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In a cave, I found pictures of women’s breasts,

but when I picked them up, a giant net fell on me.

Damn booby trap.

booby_traps_by_vmv_81-d3ickn1

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I make £1,000,000 a month cleaning Windows.

I invented Norton Anti-virus.

Norton

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My parents gave me a really cheap dictionary for my birthday yesterday.

I couldn’t find the words to thank them.

dictionary

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I never let my children watch big band performances on TV.

Too much sax and violins.

sax_and_violins

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There’s one thing I can’t stand when I’m drunk.

Up!

drunk

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Einstein eventually developed a theory about space.

And it was about time too.

albert_einstein_328565

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I’m so broke at the moment that all I can

afford to eat are herbs my mate has lent me.

I’m living on borrowed thyme.

thyme

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I’ve just seen a group on Facebook called, ‘I hate feet’.

Obviously these people are fans of the metric system.

metric-system-copyright-Allan-Inman

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Talking to her about computer hardware,

makes my mother board.

motherboard

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My wife has packed her bags and gone –

just because of my fetish with touching pasta.

I’m feeling cannelloni right now.

pasta

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