Never Judge A Book By It’s Movie.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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That’s good advice in the title by the way.

Now for some good word plays or puns.

As ever….

Enjoy or endure!!

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What do you get if you cross

a mountain and a desert?

Tired feet.

 

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My girlfriend asked me,

“If you could have any super-power,

which one would you have?”

I said, “America.”

 

 

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Education is important but

becoming a model is importanter.

 

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The key to being funny is

to say smart things stupidly…

or was is it stupid things smartly?

Whatever,

it’s not rocket surgery.

 

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I used to see this girl across the road from me

but she closes her curtains now!

 

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I often say to myself,

“I can’t believe that cloning machine worked!”

 

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My friend and his wife are a fastidious couple.

He is fast and she is hideous.

(Or is it the other way round?)

 

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The instructions on my microwave meal

say ‘stir and recover’

How tiring do they think stirring actually is?

 

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How to fall downstairs.

Step 1

Step 6

Step 8, 9, 10, 11

 

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And so, with a heavy heart,

I explained to the wife that I’ve

got too much iron in my blood.

 

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Scientists now think that global warming

is the main cause of documentaries and stupid laws

 

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I believe a lot of conflict in the Wild West

could have been avoided completely if

cowboy architects had just made their

towns big enough for everyone.

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Why Are Puns So Popular?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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I’ve been doing puns for a while now and it seems that a lot of other people like them too. I just can’t figure out the reason. I mean the jokes themselves are, to say the least, sometimes contrived and quite bad. Yet people groan, grimace and laugh and come back for more – me included, I’m just not sure why.

If you think you have the answer do let me know.

Meantime enjoy this week’s selection.

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The other day someone left a piece of silly putty in my house. I didn’t know what to make of it.

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My wife has left me because I am a compulsive gambler. I’d do anything to win her back.

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Some people are making Rapture jokes like there’s no tomorrow.

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Tea is for mugs.

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Did you hear about the physics student who couldn’t understand quantum theory? He was thicker than a Planck!

Max Planck (1858 – 1917), German physicist considered the founder of the quantum theory.

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A woman was attacked by a troupe of mime artists. They performed unspeakable acts on her.

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Wind turbines. I’m a big fan.

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NBC News: Two pedestrians die in collision. How fast must they have been walking?

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Don’t you just hate it when people think there clever but use the wrong grammar?

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Iraq drastically needs to reduce its car bomb footprint.

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A book just fell on my head. I’ve only got myshelf to blame.

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“So, how’s life in North Korea?”

“Well, I can’t complain.”

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How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?  It’s not hard.

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Cocaine is never a solution. Unless, of course, you dissolve it in water.

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I got a phone call from electric company to say my bill was outstanding. I said, “Thanks!”

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I often say to myself, “I can’t believe that cloning machine worked!”

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When my girlfriend said she was leaving because of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she was joking. And then I saw her face.

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