Never Judge A Book By It’s Movie.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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That’s good advice in the title by the way.

Now for some good word plays or puns.

As ever….

Enjoy or endure!!

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What do you get if you cross

a mountain and a desert?

Tired feet.

 

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My girlfriend asked me,

“If you could have any super-power,

which one would you have?”

I said, “America.”

 

 

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Education is important but

becoming a model is importanter.

 

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The key to being funny is

to say smart things stupidly…

or was is it stupid things smartly?

Whatever,

it’s not rocket surgery.

 

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I used to see this girl across the road from me

but she closes her curtains now!

 

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I often say to myself,

“I can’t believe that cloning machine worked!”

 

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My friend and his wife are a fastidious couple.

He is fast and she is hideous.

(Or is it the other way round?)

 

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The instructions on my microwave meal

say ‘stir and recover’

How tiring do they think stirring actually is?

 

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How to fall downstairs.

Step 1

Step 6

Step 8, 9, 10, 11

 

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And so, with a heavy heart,

I explained to the wife that I’ve

got too much iron in my blood.

 

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Scientists now think that global warming

is the main cause of documentaries and stupid laws

 

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I believe a lot of conflict in the Wild West

could have been avoided completely if

cowboy architects had just made their

towns big enough for everyone.

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April Fools Day, So Let’s Have A Look At Some Fools!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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It’s April Fool’s Day and what more appropriate post than to have our final look (for now) at the fools who need warning labels on everything and the fools who write the warnings.

Enjoy the stupidity.

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“Remove the plastic wrapper.”

The first instruction on a

bag of microwave popcorn;

BUT to see the instructions,

one first has to remove the plastic

wrapper and unfold the pouch.

 

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“Take one capsule by mouth

three times daily until gone.”

On a box of pills.

 

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“Open packet. Eat contents.”

Instructions on a packet of airline peanuts.

 

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“Remove wrapper,

open mouth,

insert muffin,

eat.”

Instructions on the packaging

for a muffin at a 7-11.

 

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“Use like regular soap.”

On a bar of Dial soap.

 

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“Instructions: usage known.”

Instructions on a can of black pepper.

 

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“Serving suggestion: Defrost.”

On a Swann frozen dinner.

 

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“Simply pour the biscuits into a bowl and

allow the cat to eat when it wants.”

On a bag of cat biscuits.

 

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“In order to get out of car,

open door, get out, lock doors,

and then close doors.”

In a car manual.

 

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“The appliance is switched on by setting

the on/off switch to the ‘on’ position.”

Instructions for an espresso kettle.

 

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