Warning: Try Not To Hurt Yourself When Reading This Post.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Our look at labels for idiots by idiots continues with this selection.

I’m not sure which is the worst, those written for the idiots or the ones that the idiots have obviously written themselves.

Have a look and make up your own mind.

Enjoy.

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warning sign 3

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“Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less.”

On a birthday card for a 1 year old.

birthday card for a 1 year old

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“Do not recharge, put in backwards, or use.”

On a battery.

battery

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“Warning: Do not use on eyes.”

In the manual for a heated seat cushion.

heated seat cushion

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“Do not look into laser with remaining eye.”

On a laser pointer.

laser pointer

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“Do not use for drying pets.”

In the manual for a microwave oven.

manual for a microwave oven

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“For use on animals only.”

On an electric cattle prod.

Electric_cattle_prod

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“For use by trained personnel only.”

On a can of air freshener.

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“Keep out of reach of children and teenagers.”

Also on a can of air freshener.

can of air freshener

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“Remember,

objects in the mirror

are actually behind you.”

On a motorcycle helmet-mounted rear-view mirror.

motorcycle helmet-mounted rear-view mirror

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“Warning: Riders of personal watercraft

may suffer injury due to the forceful injection

of water into body cavities either by

falling into the water or while mounting the craft.”

In the manual for a jetski.

jetski

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“Warning:

Do not climb inside this bag and zip it up.

Doing so will cause injury and death.”

A label inside a protective bag (for fragile objects),

which measures 15cm by 15cm by 12cm.

protective bag (for fragile objects

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“Do not use as ear plugs.”

On a package of silly putty.

silly putty

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Why Are Puns So Popular?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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I’ve been doing puns for a while now and it seems that a lot of other people like them too. I just can’t figure out the reason. I mean the jokes themselves are, to say the least, sometimes contrived and quite bad. Yet people groan, grimace and laugh and come back for more – me included, I’m just not sure why.

If you think you have the answer do let me know.

Meantime enjoy this week’s selection.

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The other day someone left a piece of silly putty in my house. I didn’t know what to make of it.

color silly putty or  plasticine

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My wife has left me because I am a compulsive gambler. I’d do anything to win her back.

compulsive gambler

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Some people are making Rapture jokes like there’s no tomorrow.

the end is coming

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Tea is for mugs.

tea mug

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Did you hear about the physics student who couldn’t understand quantum theory? He was thicker than a Planck!

Max Planck (1858 - 1917), German physicist considered the founder of the quantum theory.
Max Planck (1858 – 1917), German physicist considered the founder of the quantum theory.

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A woman was attacked by a troupe of mime artists. They performed unspeakable acts on her.

mime gang

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Wind turbines. I’m a big fan.

wind turbine fan cartoon

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NBC News: Two pedestrians die in collision. How fast must they have been walking?

pedestrian collision

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Don’t you just hate it when people think there clever but use the wrong grammar?

grammar cartoon

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Iraq drastically needs to reduce its car bomb footprint.

used car showroom, Iraq

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A book just fell on my head. I’ve only got myshelf to blame.

bookshelf

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“So, how’s life in North Korea?”

“Well, I can’t complain.”

kim-jong-il-cartoon

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How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?  It’s not hard.

How-do-you-find-a-blind-man

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Cocaine is never a solution. Unless, of course, you dissolve it in water.

cocaine drink

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I got a phone call from electric company to say my bill was outstanding. I said, “Thanks!”

outstanding bill

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I often say to myself, “I can’t believe that cloning machine worked!”

cloning machine

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When my girlfriend said she was leaving because of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she was joking. And then I saw her face.

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