Fasab’s Final Facts For 2014.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Hi, and welcome to the final fact day for this year.

There is a mixture of random bits and pieces along with some seasonal offerings, so hopefully you will find something of interest.

Enjoy.

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facts 04

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Norwegian scientists have hypothesized

that Rudolph’s red nose

is probably the result of a parasitic infection

of his respiratory system.

(Oh boy!!!)

rudolph_the_red_nosed_reindeer

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In December 1843 Charles Dickens

published a little novella

about a grumpy old curmudgeon who

rediscovered the true meaning of Christmas

after being visited by three ghosts on Christmas Eve.

He called it ‘A Christmas Carol’ and

it was a resounding success,

so much so that in the succeeding 171 years

it has never been out of print

and has been made into many movies

and television shows.

A Christmas Carol

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The skin of a polar bear

is actually black

which helps them to trap heat.

polar bear

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Christmas has its roots in pagan festivals

such as Saturnalia (December 17-December 23),

the Kalends (January 1 – 5, the precursor to the

Twelve Days of Christmas),

and Deus Sol Invictus or

Birthday of the Unconquerable Sun (December 25).

The Christian church heartily disapproved

of such celebrations and co-opted

the pagans by declaring December 25

as Christ’s day of birth,

though there is no evidence

Christ was born on that day.

saturnalia

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In 1999, a single stroke of lightning

instantly killed a whole soccer team.

The eleven players were all between

twenty and thirty-five years old.

This freak accident happened during

a match held in the eastern province of Kasai, in Congo.

The strangest thing of all, however,

was that the players from the home team

came out of this tragedy unscathed.

lightning instantly killed a whole soccer team

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In some of the Greek islands,

instead of a piling their

presents under a Christmas tree,

many families still put their gifts

in a wooden fishing boat

symi_fishingboat_sea

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YouTube can be found in sixty-one countries

and across sixty-one languages,

with almost 75 percent of its users

living outside the US.

It’s estimated that more than 1 billion users

use YouTube each month

mainly for entertainment.

According to Alexa rankings

YouTube is the third biggest

(i.e., most powerful) website in the world

trailing behind only Google and Facebook

and ahead of online giants such as

Yahoo, eBay, Wikipedia, Amazon, and, PayPal.

YouTube logo

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Each year more than 3 billion

Christmas cards are sent in the U.S. alone.

3 billion Christmas cards

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Until the Lincoln Cathedral was

built in England in 1311,

the Great Pyramid of Giza

held the title for the

world´s tallest man-made structure.

It held the record for an incredible

and unparalleled 3871 years!

Great Pyramid of Giza

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According to data

analyzed from Facebook posts,

two weeks before Christmas is one of

the two most popular times

for couples to break up.

However, Christmas Day is the

least favorite day for breakups.

Contrary to popular belief,

suicide rates during the Christmas

holiday are low.

The highest rates are during the spring.

couples to break up

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Mickey Mouse on Mercury?

Measuring 105 kilometers across (65 miles),

a striking resemblance to Mickey Mouse

can be found on Mercury’s southern hemisphere.

It is attributed to an accumulation

of craters over a long period of time,

or else Mickey was originally a Mercurian!

Mickey Mouse on Mercury

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Christmas trees have been

sold in the U.S. since 1850.

Christmas trees

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The demented Roman Emperor Caligula

once ordered his troops

to go to war with the sea.

He made troops return with

seashells as plunder of war

against Neptune.

Roman Emperor Caligula

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The British wear paper crowns

while they eat Christmas dinner.

The crowns are stored in a tube

called a “Christmas cracker.”

British wear paper crowns while they eat Christmas dinner

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George Frederick Handel’s

great Christmas oratorio,

“The Messiah”,

was first performed in 1742,

in Dublin.

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A Man Walked Into A Hardware Store….

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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In case today’s title was a little bit obscure for you, it’s pun day again.

Yes even more of those bad jokes and word plays.

Enjoy!

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A man walked into a hardware store and picked up a can of fly spray.

“Is this good for wasps?” he asked the assistant.

“No, it kills them,” was the reply.

hardware store

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My Doctor told me I’m a Paranoid Schizophrenic.

We think he’s out to get us

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I went into the pharmacy last week and said to the woman behind the counter, “Packet of three, please, Miss.”

“Don’t you Miss me, young man,” she replied.

I said, “Okay, better make that four then!”

pharmacy

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I used to go out with a midget but we broke up.

We just couldn’t see eye to eye.

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I went to the missing persons bureau,

but there was no-one there.

missing persons bureau

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Four fonts walk into a bar

The barman says, “Oi – get out! We don’t want your type in here.”

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Why do they call it ‘raw’ sewage?

Is someone somewhere cooking it?

cartoon-chef

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I am very much into DIY.

Every time the wife asks me to do anything, I say, “do it yourself.”

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Ted Kennedy got told off for not opening the door for his girlfriend when he was on a date.

Instead he just swam to the surface.

kennedy_cartoon

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Computers are like air conditioners.

They work fine until you start opening windows.

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Food has supplanted sex as the main driving force in my life

– now I can’t even get into my own pants.

pants

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I had a horrible childhood.

My father was a Pontoon dealer in Vegas,

that’s why he used to hit me till I was 21

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I conducted an orchestra the other day.

It’s more fun than you can shake a stick at.

Conductor

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They say being a hostage is difficult…

…But I could do that with my hands tied behind my back.

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What’s got four legs and goes “boo”?

A cow with a cold.

cartoon-cow

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The Interstate was blocked for an hour yesterday

after a car driven by a hunchback crashed into a car driven by a bearded lady.

Police are describing it as a freak accident.

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Bloody feminists.

They should all be put behind bras.

comic_feministbraburnings

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What kind of bees make milk?

Boobies!

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