I’m Sure I’ve Already Posted My Joke About Deja Vu!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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It’s Pun Day again.

Does seem a bit déjà vu right enough.

Your chance to giggle or groan, or perhaps a bit of both, as you read the latest word play offerings that we call puns.

Enjoy or endure!

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Disposable beds are unreliable.

Disposable beds

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My new band is called ‘DEAF’…

We’ve just been signed.

sign language alphabet

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How subtle is the ‘b’ in subtle?

subtle

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I’ve just fixed the work radio that

had been broken for months,

my colleagues were ecstatic.

You should have heard the reception I got.

radio

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I’ve written a book on how to chop onions.

Read it and weep.

how to chop onions

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What sections of swimming pools do I prefer?

Hmm… Depends.

swimming pools deep end

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I’m contemplating inventing a plane with no wings

then selling it to British Airways.

I know what you’re thinking;

it’ll never take off.

airplane_no_wings

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What do you call dyslexic owls?

Slow!

dyslexic owl

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Remember the shock a few years ago,

when we discovered…

Tiger was really a Cheetah.

Tiger a Cheetah

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I recently completed a PhD in Scottish poetry.

You could say I have third degree Burns.

Rabbie Burns

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I used to live on the 13th floor but

have just moved up to the 14th floor

But that’s another storey. 

13th floor button

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A policeman stopped me as I walked out

of an electrical goods store today.

He said, “Before I perform a search,

do you have anything sharp in your pockets?”

I said, “No, just Sony and Panasonic.”

sharp logo

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I love playing chess at the park with old men.

The hard part is finding 32 of them. 

playing chess at the park with old men

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Since I was a 14 year old lad,

I’ve dated girls in alphabetical order,

starting from A, in an attempt to one day make it to Z.

My newest girlfriend, Yvonne, is convinced I’ll go back to my X.

x

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I was in a quiz the other day and my team,

along with another, tied for first place.

For the ‘tie-breaker’ we were asked one question,

and the first person to shout the correct

answer won it for their team.

The question was as follows.

‘In Paradise Lost, by John Milton,

what was the Capital City of Hell?’

No-one from either team knew the answer

so both teams started shouting loudly

and waving their arms in frustration

at the question being too hard.

Things got a bit heated and a fight broke out

between one team captain and the quiz master.

It was pandemonium.

pandemonium

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Some Challenging Questions – It must Be Quiz Day!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Welcome to another Quiz Day on the fasab blog.

I hope you are ready to try these challenging questions.

As usual if you get stuck you can find the answers waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please NO cheating!

Enjoy and good luck.

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Quiz3

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Q  1:  We’ve all eaten M&Ms, but what do the two Ms stand for?

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Q  2: On the back of a $1 bill, what is in the center?

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Q  3: Who wrote ‘High Adventure’, about a spectacular mountain climb?

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Q  4: During World War II American factories produced approximately how many military aircraft?

           a)  200,000          b)  300,000          c)  400,000          d)  500,000

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Q  5: Captain Cook discovered which island in the pacific in 1777?

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Q  6: Who was assassinated at Memphis, Tennessee, in 1968?

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Q  7: What is the name of Elvis Presley’s home and where is it located? (A point for each correct answer.)

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Q  8: What name is given to a flat stretch of land within a river valley, which is the remnant of an earlier flood plain, when the river was at a higher level?

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Q  9: What is the name of the new TV series, starring John Malkovich, about the pirate Blackbeard?

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Q  10: What war ended with the fall of Saigon and in what year did it end? (A point for each correct answer.)

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Q  11: Which country lies to the north of Austria and the south of Poland?

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Q  12: Plus or minus 30 minutes, what was the Concorde’s record flight time from New York to London?

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Q  13: Who was responsible for the Green Car Crash in 1963?

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Q  14: What team thrashed Brazil by 7 goals to 1 in this year’s soccer World Cup semi-finals?

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Q  15: Who wrote about a fictional, diminutive, humanoid race called ‘Hobbits’ who inhabit the lands of Middle-earth?

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Q  16: The normal wing beat frequency of the annoying mosquito is what?

    a)  6 beats per sec.    b) 60 beats per sec.    c) 600 beats per sec.    d) 6,000 beats per sec.

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Q  17: ‘Cebuano’, ‘Fula’, ‘Gujarati’ and ‘Kannada’ are all examples of what?

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Q  18: What Oscar winning movie is based on the trials and tribulations of Harold Abraham and Eric Liddell?

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Q  19: Now a chance for some mega points. There are 13 official countries in the world which have a capital city beginning and ending with the same letter. (I don’t expect anyone to get them all, but have a point for each one you can name correctly. (names in the English language)).

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Q  20: Who said you could “call me Al” in 1986?

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ANSWERS

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Q  1:  We’ve all eaten M&Ms, but what do the two Ms stand for?

A  1:  The two Ms in M&Ms stand for Mars & Murrie’s, named after Forrest Mars and Bruce Murrie who started producing M&M’s exclusively for the military during WWII.

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Q  2: On the back of a $1 bill, what is in the center?

A  2: ONE.

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Q  3: Who wrote ‘High Adventure’, about a spectacular mountain climb?

A  3: Sir Edmund Hilary, the first man to climb Mount Everest.

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Q  4: During World War II American factories produced approximately how many military aircraft?

           a)  200,000          b)  300,000          c)  400,000          d)  500,000

A  4: The correct answer is b), American factories produced approximately 300,000 military aircraft during WWII.

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Q  5: Captain Cook discovered which island in the pacific in 1777?

A  5: Christmas Island.

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Q  6: Who was assassinated at Memphis, Tennessee, in 1968?

A  6: Martin Luther King jnr.

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Q  7: What is the name of Elvis Presley’s home and where is it located? (A point for each correct answer.)

A  7: The name of Elvis Presley’s home is Graceland and it is located in Memphis, Tennessee (3764 Elvis Presley Boulevard to be precise.)

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Q  8: What name is given to a flat stretch of land within a river valley, which is the remnant of an earlier flood plain, when the river was at a higher level?

A  8: It is called a River Terrace.

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Q  9: What is the name of the new TV series, starring John Malkovich, about the pirate Blackbeard?

A  9: Crossbones.

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Q  10: What war ended with the fall of Saigon and in what year did it end? (A point for each correct answer.)

A  10: The Vietnam War ended with the fall of Saigon. on 30 April 1975.

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Q  11: 4. Which country lies to the north of Austria and the south of Poland?

A  11: The Czech Republic.

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Q  12: Plus or minus 30 minutes, what was the Concorde’s record flight time from New York to London?

A  12: 2 hours. 55 minutes. 15 seconds.

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Q  13: Who was responsible for the Green Car Crash in 1963?

A  13: The Green Car Crash is Andy Warhol’s most famous painting. It was sold at auction on May 16, 2007 for $71.7m (£42.3m).

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Q  14: What team thrashed Brazil by 7 goals to 1 in this year’s soccer World Cup semi-finals?

A  14: Germany, who went on to win the competition.

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Q  15: Who wrote about a fictional, diminutive, humanoid race called ‘Hobbits’ who inhabit the lands of Middle-earth?

A  15: J. R. R. Tolkien.

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Q  16: The normal wing beat frequency of the annoying mosquito is what?

    a)  6 beats per sec.    b) 60 beats per sec.    c) 600 beats per sec.    d) 6,000 beats per sec.

A  16: The correct answer is c) 600 beats per sec.

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Q  17: ‘Cebuano’, ‘Fula’, ‘Gujarati’ and ‘Kannada’ are all examples of what?

A  17: They are all examples of languages. Cebuano is from the Philippines; Fula from Cameroon and Nigeria;  Gujarati from India and Pakistan; and Kannada from India.

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Q  18: What Oscar winning movie is based on the trials and tribulations of Harold Abraham and Eric Liddell?

A  18: ‘Chariots of Fire’ which tells the fact-based story of two athletes in the 1924 Olympics: Eric Liddell, a devout Scottish Christian who runs for the glory of God, and Harold Abrahams, an English Jew who runs to overcome prejudice.

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Q  19: Now a chance for some mega points. There are 13 official countries in the world which have a capital city beginning and ending with the same letter. (I don’t expect anyone to get them all, but have a point for each one you can name correctly. (names in the English language)).

A  19: They are: Abuja (Nigeria), Accra (Ghana), Addis Ababa (Ethiopia), Andorra la Vella (Andorra), Ankara (Turkey), Apia (Samoa), Asmara (Eritrea), Astana (Kazakstan), Oslo (Norway), St. George’s (Grenada), St. John’s (Antigua and Barbuda), Tashkent (Uzbekistan) and Warsaw (Poland).

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Q  20: Who said you could “call me Al” in 1986?

A  20: Paul Simon.

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The Quiz Is Back!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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No quiz last week.

Time restraints and watching too much of the world cup in Brazil are to blame.

But not to worry, it’s back today with a vengeance with another twenty brain teasers for you.

Some easy and some quite difficult.

But remember, if you get stuck the answers can be found waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please NO cheating!

Enjoy and good luck.

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quiz confused1

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Q.  1:  Which way does water go down the drain, clockwise or counter-clockwise?

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Q.  2:  He starred along side Clint Eastwood in the 1978 movie ‘Every Which Way But Lose’ and in the 1980 sequel ‘Any Which Way You Can’ and he never said a word in either of them. Who was he?

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Q.  3:  What percent of Soviet males born in 1923 didn’t survive World War II?

            a)  20%            b)  40%            c)  60%            d)  80%

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Q.  4:  I’m sure just about everybody in the world has heard of the dreadful USA Patriot Act, but did you know the name was possibly the most unnecessary acronym ever devised? Five points if you can tell me what it stands for.

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Q.  5:  Who was with Sir Edmund Hilary when he first climbed Mount Everest?

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Q.  6:  What soccer player made headline news when he was banned from the Brazil 2014 World Cup for biting an opponent? (Bonus points if you can also name the team he played for and their opposition on that day.)

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Q.  7:  On which sea does Croatia stand?

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Q.  8:  What is the name of the Islamic terrorist organization currently involved in the conflict in Iraq?

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Q.  9:  The famous Wimbledon tennis tournament is currently underway, but who won the Men’s and the Women’s Singles title in 2013? (A point for each correct answer.)

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Q. 10:  What car company built the classic 1955 300 SLR Uhlenhaut Coupe?

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Q. 11:  What were the names of the three stars of the 1966 Italian Spaghetti Western movie “The Good, The Bad And The Ugly”?

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Q. 12:  What team has won the most Super Bowls?

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Q. 13:  What was the name of the woman who married Adolph Hitler shortly before they both committed suicide?

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Q. 14:  This one is a famous city in Brazil and the former capital city of Portugal between the years 1808 and 1821, what is it’s name?

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Q. 15:  Which beats faster, a woman’s heart or a man’s?

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Q. 16:  Where in California were “Doritos” invented?

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Q. 17:  Now a chance to add significantly to your points score, name the seven actors who played the original western movie “The Magnificent Seven”? (Bonus points if you can also name the characters they played.)

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Q. 18:  What US President’s face is on the seldom seen $100,000 bill?

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Q. 19:  In what state is the Western-most point of the contiguous United States located?

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Q. 20:  Who was “A Rock” and “Homeward Bound” during the 1960s?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  Which way does water go down the drain, clockwise or counter-clockwise?

A.  1:  Counter-clockwise (unless you happen to be south of the equator).

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Q.  2:  He starred along side Clint Eastwood in the 1978 movie ‘Every Which Way But Lose’ and in the 1980 sequel ‘Any Which Way You Can’ and he never said a word in either of them. Who was he?

A.  2:  His movie name was ‘Clyde’ and he was an orangutan.

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Q.  3:  What percent of Soviet males born in 1923 didn’t survive World War II?

            a)  20%            b)  40%            c)  60%            d)  80%

A.  3:  The correct answer is d), approximately eighty percent of Soviet males born in 1923 didn’t survive World War II.

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Q.  4:  I’m sure just about everybody in the world has heard of the dreadful USA Patriot Act, but did you know the name was possibly the most unnecessary acronym ever devised? Five points if you can tell me what it stands for.

A.  4:  USA Patriot Act stands for ‘Uniting & Strengthening America by Providing Appropriate Tools Required to Intercept & Obstruct Terrorism’. You see even the name is dreadful.

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Q.  5:  Who was with Sir Edmund Hilary when he first climbed Mount Everest?

A.  5:  Sherpa Tensing Norgay. (You can also take a point if you just said ‘Sherpa Tensing’.)

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Q.  6:  What soccer player made headline news when he was banned from the Brazil 2014 World Cup for biting an opponent? (Bonus points if you can also name the team he played for and their opposition on that day.)

A.  6:  His name is Louis Suarez and he played for Uruguay. The opposing team on that day was Italy.

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Q.  7:  On which sea does Croatia stand?

A.  7:  The Adriatic sea.

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Q.  8:  What is the name of the Islamic terrorist organization currently involved in the conflict in Iraq?

A.  8:  It is called ‘ISIS’.

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Q.  9:  The famous Wimbledon tennis tournament is currently underway, but who won the Men’s and the Women’s Singles title in 2013? (A point for each correct answer.)

A.  9:  Andy Murray and Marion Bartoli respectively. Murray was the  first man from Great Britain to win the singles title since Fred Perry in 1936..

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Q. 10:  What car company built the classic 1955 300 SLR Uhlenhaut Coupe?

A. 10:  Mercedes.

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Q. 11:  What were the names of the three stars of the 1966 Italian Spaghetti Western movie “The Good, The Bad And The Ugly”?

A. 11:  They were Clint Eastwood, Lee Van Cleef, and Eli Wallach in the title roles respectively.

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Q. 12:  What team has won the most Super Bowls?

A. 12:  The Pittsburgh Steelers, with six championships.

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Q. 13:  What was the name of the woman who married Adolph Hitler shortly before they both committed suicide?

A. 13:  Eva Braun.

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Q. 14:  This one is a famous city in Brazil and the former capital city of Portugal between the years 1808 and 1821, what is it’s name?

A. 14:  Rio de Janeiro.

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Q. 15:  Which beats faster, a woman’s heart or a man’s?

A. 15:  A woman’s heart beats faster than a man’s.

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Q. 16:  Where in California were “Doritos” invented?

A. 16:  Doritos were first made at the Casa de Fritos at Disneyland in Anaheim, California. Using surplus tortillas, the company-owned restaurant cut them up and fried them (as in traditional Mexican chips called totopos) and added basic seasoning, resembling the Mexican chilaquiles, but in this case being dry.

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Q. 17:  Now a chance to add significantly to your points score, name the seven actors who played the original western movie “The Magnificent Seven”? (Bonus points if you can also name the characters they played.)

A. 17:  The Magnificent Seven were Yul Brynner as “Chris Adams”, Steve McQueen as “Vin”, Horst Buchholz as “Chico”, Charles Bronson as “Bernardo O’Reilly”, Robert Vaughn as “Lee”, James Coburn as “Britt”, and Brad Dexter as “Harry Luck”.

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Q. 18:  What US President’s face is on the seldom seen $100,000 bill?

A. 18:  Woodrow Wilson’s face is on the $100,000 bill; these bills were mainly designed for trade between between Federal Reserve banks, but fell out of use with the invention of the wire transfer.

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Q. 19:  In what state is the Western-most point of the contiguous United States located?

A. 19:  The Western-most point in the contiguous United States is located at Cape Alava, Washington.

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Q. 20:  Who was “A Rock” and “Homeward Bound” during the 1960s?

A. 20:  Simon And Garfunkel.

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