“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
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It’s Pun Day again.
Does seem a bit déjà vu right enough.
Your chance to giggle or groan, or perhaps a bit of both, as you read the latest word play offerings that we call puns.
Enjoy or endure!
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Disposable beds are unreliable.
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My new band is called ‘DEAF’…
We’ve just been signed.
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How subtle is the ‘b’ in subtle?
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I’ve just fixed the work radio that
had been broken for months,
my colleagues were ecstatic.
You should have heard the reception I got.
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I’ve written a book on how to chop onions.
Read it and weep.
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What sections of swimming pools do I prefer?
Hmm… Depends.
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I’m contemplating inventing a plane with no wings
then selling it to British Airways.
I know what you’re thinking;
it’ll never take off.
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What do you call dyslexic owls?
Slow!
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Remember the shock a few years ago,
when we discovered…
Tiger was really a Cheetah.
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I recently completed a PhD in Scottish poetry.
You could say I have third degree Burns.
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I used to live on the 13th floor but
have just moved up to the 14th floor
But that’s another storey.
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A policeman stopped me as I walked out
of an electrical goods store today.
He said, “Before I perform a search,
do you have anything sharp in your pockets?”
I said, “No, just Sony and Panasonic.”
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I love playing chess at the park with old men.
The hard part is finding 32 of them.
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Since I was a 14 year old lad,
I’ve dated girls in alphabetical order,
starting from A, in an attempt to one day make it to Z.
My newest girlfriend, Yvonne, is convinced I’ll go back to my X.
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I was in a quiz the other day and my team,
along with another, tied for first place.
For the ‘tie-breaker’ we were asked one question,
and the first person to shout the correct
answer won it for their team.
The question was as follows.
‘In Paradise Lost, by John Milton,
what was the Capital City of Hell?’
No-one from either team knew the answer
so both teams started shouting loudly
and waving their arms in frustration
at the question being too hard.
Things got a bit heated and a fight broke out
between one team captain and the quiz master.
It was pandemonium.
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fasab 