“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
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Pun day again. How quickly they seem to come around.
Here’s the latest selection.
Enjoy or endure!
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The key to winning world’s best chiropodist title is no mean feet.
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I got woken up at 5am today by a bird tweeting.
If she doesn’t get a grip on her Internet addiction soon, I’m dumping her.
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Mulled wine is just wine that people think a lot about.
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My friend told me he is going to a fancy dress
party as a native American warrior.
I thought, that’s brave.
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I’ve just given a ten minute presentation
about underwear to Stephen Hawking.
It was a timed history of briefs.
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My friend asked me,
“Why are you so lazy when it comes to numbers?”
I said “You do the maths.”
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Dave the slug and Pete the termite are in the pub.
“I’d love to win the lottery,” Dave the slug said.
“Not me,” replied Pete the termite. “No way.”
“Why not?” asked Dave the slug.
“It would be a nightmare,” Pete the termite said.
“I’d have all my family crawling out of the woodwork after a share.”
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I said to the wife, “How come I never find you in the mood for sex?”
She replied, “You don’t look hard enough.”
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I always pray before I play a game of pool.
That way the angles help me.
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Reports are coming in of a huge explosion
in a baking powder factory.
Police are expecting casualties to rise.
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My wife gets furious when I put her down in front of my friends.
But it’s really embarrassing carrying around a 35 year old woman.
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What is small, red and whispers?
A hoarse raddish.
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While trekking in Nepal I saw a Yeti with an awesome six-pack.
Must have been the abdominal snowman.
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To become a good dentist,
you need a degree in Flossify.
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Just found out that ‘Aaarrrggghhh’ is not a real word.
I can’t even tell you how angry I am!
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fasab 