Why Isn’t There An I In Cyclops?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Pun day again. How quickly they seem to come around.

Here’s the latest selection.

Enjoy or endure!

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The key to winning world’s best chiropodist title is no mean feet.

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I got woken up at 5am today by a bird tweeting.

If she doesn’t get a grip on her Internet addiction soon, I’m dumping her.

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Mulled wine is just wine that people think a lot about.

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My friend told me he is going to a fancy dress

party as a native American warrior.

I thought, that’s brave.

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I’ve just given a ten minute presentation

about underwear to Stephen Hawking.

It was a timed history of briefs.

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My friend asked me,

“Why are you so lazy when it comes to numbers?”

I said “You do the maths.”

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Dave the slug and Pete the termite are in the pub.

“I’d love to win the lottery,” Dave the slug said.

“Not me,” replied Pete the termite. “No way.”

“Why not?” asked Dave the slug.

“It would be a nightmare,” Pete the termite said.

“I’d have all my family crawling out of the woodwork after a share.”

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I said to the wife, “How come I never find you in the mood for sex?”

She replied, “You don’t look hard enough.”

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I always pray before I play a game of pool.

That way the angles help me.

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Reports are coming in of a huge explosion

in a baking powder factory.

Police are expecting casualties to rise.

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My wife gets furious when I put her down in front of my friends.

But it’s really embarrassing carrying around a 35 year old woman.

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What is small, red and whispers?

A hoarse raddish.

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While trekking in Nepal I saw a Yeti with an awesome six-pack.

Must have been the abdominal snowman.

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To become a good dentist,

you need a degree in Flossify.

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Just found out that ‘Aaarrrggghhh’ is not a real word.

I can’t even tell you how angry I am!

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Did You Know? Another Fact Finding Mission Is Underway!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Another fact finding mission has been undertaken on your behalf and here are this week’s results.

The usual random mixture, so hopefully something interesting will be in there for you.

Enjoy.

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Cashews are actually a fleshy fruit.

The nut that we eat is the seed that

grows on the outside of the fruit.

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There have been 14 vice presidents who have

become President of the United States.

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Thamsanqa Jantjie, the embarrassing sign language interpreter

at the Mandela Memorial who doesn’t know any sign language,

is also alleged to be a murderer.

He was among a group of people who accosted two men found

with a stolen television and burned them to death

by setting fire to tires placed around their necks.

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Outside North and South America,

the only alligators found in the wild are in China.

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Thomas Edison was a great inventor,

but not so good at putting his inventions into practical business use.

For example, despite having the contract to supply cement

for the original Yankee Stadium,

the Edison Portland Cement Company went bust

because it insisted on producing concrete everything,

including cabinets, pianos, and even entire houses!

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Gureng-gureng, Gabi-Gabi, Waga-Waga, Wemba-Wemba, and Yitha-Yitha

are all names of native Australian languages.

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Some Americans disagreed with the United States’ initial refusal

to enter WWI and so they joined the French Foreign Legion

or the British or Canadian armies.

A group of U.S. pilots formed the Lafayette Escadrille,

which was part of the French air force and became

one of the top fighting units on the Western Front.

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The horse race normally called the Belmont Stakes

also goes by name of the Run for the Carnations.

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Golf legend Jack Nicklaus didn’t earn his nickname,

the Golden Bear,

because of his size, his demeanor, or his hair.

It was the name of his high school mascot.

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The term “Continental breakfast” was coined to

differentiate itself from an English breakfast.

The fried eggs, bacon, and beans of an English morning

are quite distinct from the dainty pastries, coffee, and juice

offered throughout the rest of Europe.

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Beowulf is the longest Old English manuscript in existence

and contains about a tenth of all known Anglo-Saxon poetry.

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After Leonardo da Vinci’s death,

King Francis I of France hung the Mona Lisa in his bathroom.

(There’s critics everywhere!)

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One type of hummingbird weighs less than a penny.

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The letter “J” was the last letter added to the English Alphabet.

Before that, the letter “L” was used in its place.

“U” was the second to last letter added,

and was usually replaced by V.

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Norman Mailer coined the word “factoid” in his 1973 biography Marilyn,

BUT it wasn’t just another word for “trivia”

– he actually meant something that seems like a fact but isn’t actually factual

– and that’s a fact….. or a factoid…. or…. er.

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Silly Named Game.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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A few months ago, I can’t remember exactly without doing a search on the blog, I did a short series that I called ‘The Silly Name Game’. Unsurprisingly it featured people with silly names. And some of them were very silly indeed. Here are a couple of examples to get you in the mood.

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But names are inflicted on people. They don’t really get to choose them. If they are lucky the girls ease their pain by ditching a silly or embarrassing birth name for that of a husband, but the guys are stuck, unless they change the ones they get at birth by deed poll or some other official device.

However, as luck would have it, people don’t tend to find their own names humorous or unusual. Familiarity I suppose dulls the senses over the years.

But the question that puzzles me most is, why, when people do get to choose a name, like a name of a town, for example, do they choose something absolutely awful?

If you have never noticed or thought about that you have an opportunity now because this post is about towns that have been named rather badly by someone who really should have known better. Personally I think large amounts of either stupidity or alcohol (or perhaps a combination of both) may have had something to do with it.

Here you go.

As always, enjoy.

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And perhaps most appropriately of all,

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