“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
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But I can still describe today
– it’s Pun Day!
Enjoy or endure!
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If you think you dream in color,
is it just a pigment of your imagination?
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My boss fired me for complaining about the office escalator,
It didn’t go down well.
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First guy: “What would you do if your son told you he was gay?”
Second guy: “I’d buy him a straight jacket.”
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Paddy goes for a job interview at a chemical factory.
The manager asks, “Have you worked with chemicals before?”
Paddy replies, “Yes.”
The manager then asks, “Can you tell me what nitrate is?”
Paddy replies, “Yes, it’s time and a half.”
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I was on holiday in the Alps
when I saw a sign saying ‘Ski Hire’.
So I went a bit further up the slope.
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I’ve just bought a shire horse.
As if my other horse wasn’t shy enough.
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I keep having recurring nightmares where
I’m in a hospital surrounded by loads of pregnant women.
Could I be going through a midwife crisis?
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I’ve just got a job testing hover boards.
The money’s not great,
but it keeps me off the streets.
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Pirate cheerleaders have it easy.
“Give me an R!”…
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A guy came up to me the other day and said,
“I’m a 3-5 stringed instrument of the harp family,
popular among nobles in medieval Europe.”
I said, “You’re a lyre!”
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It will be Google’s birthday soon.
They’re planning a search party.
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I went for a depression test.
Came back negative.
Oh, NO!
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I rang SeaWorld the other day,
because I wanted some information.
Before I got through to an employee,
I got a tape telling me
“This call may be recorded for training porpoises.”
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If someone asks you to
spell “Part A” backwards,
don’t do it.
It’s a trap……
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Steppenwolf was an assumed name.
He was born Toby Wild.
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fasab 