Have You Ever Googled Yourself?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Have you ever Googled yourself to see if there is anything on the internet about you, or even if there are any other people with the same name as you?

I bet you have. I think everyone does at some stage. Some people call it ‘ego-surfing’.

I actually hadn’t, but I did just now. Apparently there’s a British Member of Parliament and a Realtor in Kentucky using my name. I’ll have to put a stop to that!

But getting back to today’s post. There’s nothing wrong with Googling yourself, unless of course you are a moron, in which case the consequences can be both unseen (for you) and quite traumatic.

That’s what happened to a guy called Christopher Viatafa.

He’s a moron.

And a criminal.

In fact Christopher was being sought in connection with a shooting during a private party at the San Leandro Senior Center in California. Police said he got into an argument, pulled out a handgun and fired several rounds into the ground.

He was forced out of the area, but not before he fired more rounds. No one was hit, but police investigators were looking for him for allegedly discharging a firearm toward an inhabited dwelling.

That was okay, as far as he was concerned.

But then the astute Christopher Googled his name, found a picture of himself on a “Most Wanted” website….

and….

wait for it….

you know what’s coming….

promptly surrendered to San Leandro police in connection with a shooting.

Viatafa told police he had looked himself up online and found his mug on the “Northern California Most Wanted” website, maintained by the Northern California Regional Intelligence Center, a group of local, state and federal law enforcement agencies.

“That is why he turned himself in,” police said.

By the following Friday, Viatafa was listed on the website as a “captured fugitive”.

The website didn’t say that he had captured himself.

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Did They Really Mean To Say That? – Newspaper Headline Nightmares, Part Sixteen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Believe it or not, part sixteen of the newspapers headline nightmares series.

Just goes to prove that these are not isolated incidents and that stupidity doesn’t go away.

As always, enjoy.

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Duck Shoot Shot!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

 

I did a bit of hunting when I was a kid and it was enjoyable enough at the time. And I have nothing very much against it for those who are inclined to such pastimes. But as I got older I lost interest in it. If there’s vermin around I’ll take out my shotgun and dispatch it no problem. But these days, and you may agree with this or not, I find that there are much more interesting things to do that trying to outwit a duck.

The same can not be said for these two intrepid hunters.

The story begins with a guy in Michigan, USA, who bought a brand new $30,000 Grand Cherokee, on credit naturally. He was very proud of his new rig, and got hold of his friend to do some male bonding with the new ride.

They decided to go duck hunting on a frozen lake and turned up with their guns, a dog, lots of beer and of course the new vehicle. They drove out onto the ice.

Now, they needed to make a hole in the ice to attract ducks – something for the decoys to float on. In order to make a hole large enough to interest a flock of ducks, they needed to use something a bit bigger than your normal ice drill. But, thinking ahead and coming prepared, they had brought with them a stick of dynamite with a 40-second fuse.

You can probably see where this is going already?

To their credit, these guys realized that they wanted the explosion to be far away from themselves, the jeep and their equipment. However, they also didn’t want to light the fuse and run back to the jeep in case they slipped on the ice.

So far so good, and the logic of their thinking was okay.

Their solution, however, was to stay where they were, light the dynamite and then throw it as far as they could.

Again so far so good, it still sounded like a plan.

So they did that very thing. They threw the dynamite and the explosive landed a suitable distance away. They waited for the explosion.

However, when they made their plan they had no contingencies in it about their dog.

A well-trained golden Labrador, it immediately set out across the ice to bring the back the stick.  That’s what dogs do. And this dog did.

The two would-be hunters started yelling, stomping, and waving their arms.

The dog glanced back but took all the frantic activity as approval and encouragement and happily ran back toward the hunters, fizzing stick of dynamite firmly clenched in it’s jaws.

As the dog approached, one of the pair thought rapidly, grabbed his shotgun, and shot the dog.

Unfortunately the shotgun was loaded with #8 duck shot and was hardly effective enough to stop a dog the size of a Labrador.

The dog did pause for a moment, slightly confused, but then continued on.

Another shot rang out.

This time the dog became really confused and, quite naturally, scared.

He changed direction, and now with an extremely short fuse still burning, headed for the nearest and indeed only cover on the wide expanse of ice.

Yeah, underneath the guy’s brand new Cherokee.

The dynamite went off, and dog and jeep plummeted to the bottom of the lake.

Strangely, the insurance company refused to pay up.

 

 

golden Labrador dynamite retriever