“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
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Some people feel the same way about puns.
I hope that doesn’t include you though.
So here are some more to….
Enjoy or endure!
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I didn’t know how to spell “plagiarized”
so I copied and pasted it.
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A foreign lady at the market held
two pineapples up to me yesterday and said
“I give you two for one sir”.
It seemed like a fair swap, but unfortunately
I didn’t have a pineapple on me.
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I got a luxury prize for using the correct
punctuation mark to denote ownership.
It was a posh trophy.
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Whenever I go on a long country ramble,
I always take a good reliable compass with me.
You just never know when you might need to draw a circle.
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Postman knocked on my door the other day and asked,
“Is this letter for you? The name is smudged.”
I said, “No, It’s not for me, my name’s Smith.”
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Went to a funfair the other day and saw that
the sign advertising it was missing the first F.
That’s just unfair.
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A new book out today:
the Korean canine training manual
50 Ways to Wok your Dog
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“But, Holmes, what kind of rock could be formed
by deposition and consolidation of mineral and organic material
and from the precipitation of minerals from a solution?”
“Sedimentary, my dear Watson.”
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I tried to order some tennis balls
off the internet last night
but the site kept crashing.
Must be having problems with their server.
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A new Muslim version of Playboy is being published.
The model for the centerfold has just been unveiled.
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I was going to make a herb garden the other day,
but I just haven’t got the thyme.
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I failed Geography at school.
I couldn’t find the exam room
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Have you noticed that prison walls
are never built to scale.
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I was on holiday in Spain when a friend phoned me.
“How’s the hotel?” he asked.
“Well, I can’t complain, “ I replied.
“Oh, that’s good then,” he said.
I said, “No, it’s terrible! I just don’t speak the lingo.”
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A guy is climbing to the top of Mount Everest.
He has two steps to go when one of them notices
the heel on his right shoe is a little loose,
yet he decides to continue.
At the next step, the heel comes off and
the guy goes tumbling down the mountain.
As he goes by, he passes a couple of climbers.
First climber: Think we should help him?
Second climber: No, as he was going down
I heard him singing
“You picked a fine time to leave me, loose heel.”
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Of course you know my response. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CmLi6xcYtuI
I thought they couldn’t get any worse.
I was wrong 😦
Cheers for me for the find!