“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
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I wonder what the second sine is?
But let’s not go off at a tangent.
Let’s just enjoy another Pun Day instead.
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The first rule of Innuendo Club is
you can only enter via the back door.
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I’ve been sitting here all day trying to
think of anagrams of the word ‘wired’
but I can only think of one.
Which is weird.
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This morning my physiotherapist
tapped my knee with a plastic hammer
and made my leg jerk.
The nerve.
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Are people who believe in
ghosts very ghoulable?
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No matter how much you push the envelope,
it’ll still be stationery.
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My friend was arrested for drunk driving
on a motorized shopping cart at WalMart.
Apparently he led the police on a chase
that reached 90 aisles per hour.
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“All you ever talk about is golf!”
My wife shouted.
“Golf, golf and more bloody golf!”
“Calm down love,” I said.
“Don’t let this driver wedge between us.”
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I went to buy pork chops and told
the butcher to make them lean.
He said, ‘Which way?’
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Many scientists agree the only way to solve
the planet’s worsening energy crisis
is for the whole world to convert to solar power.
That’s not going to happen overnight.
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I was the first person to install trampolines
in musician’s tour buses and now
everybody is jumping on the bandwagon.
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I said to my blind date, “I actually take
a plane to work and back every single day.”
“Wow, you must be wealthy.” She said.
“Everything but,” I replied,
“I’m just a carpenter.”
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I bumped into the guy
who invented the globe.
It’s a small world.
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Why did the poet kill himself
by walking into the road?
Because he thought there
was nothing left to right.
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I never thought I’d buy into Feng Shui.
But oh how the tables have turned.
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I was in a music group
called ‘Illegal imports’.
We were a contraband.
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