Maths Puns Are The First Sine Of Madness.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”


I wonder what the second sine is?

But let’s not go off at a tangent.

Let’s just enjoy another Pun Day instead.




The first rule of Innuendo Club is

you can only enter via the back door.

 please use back door



I’ve been sitting here all day trying to

think of anagrams of the word ‘wired’

but I can only think of one.

Which is weird.






This morning my physiotherapist

tapped my knee with a plastic hammer

and made my leg jerk.

The nerve.

 knee tapped with a plastic hammer



Are people who believe in

ghosts very ghoulable?




No matter how much you push the envelope,

it’ll still be stationery.

 push the envelope



My friend was arrested for drunk driving

on a motorized shopping cart at WalMart.

Apparently he led the police on a chase

that reached 90 aisles per hour.

 motorized shopping cart



“All you ever talk about is golf!”

My wife shouted.

“Golf, golf and more bloody golf!”

“Calm down love,” I said.

“Don’t let this driver wedge between us.”




I went to buy pork chops and told

the butcher to make them lean.

He said, ‘Which way?’

 pork chops cartoon



Many scientists agree the only way to solve

the planet’s worsening energy crisis

is for the whole world to convert to solar power.

That’s not going to happen overnight.

 solar power



I was the first person to install trampolines

in musician’s tour buses and now

everybody is jumping on the bandwagon.




I said to my blind date, “I actually take

a plane to work and back every single day.”

“Wow, you must be wealthy.” She said.

“Everything but,” I replied,

“I’m just a carpenter.”

 carpenter's plane



I bumped into the guy

who invented the globe.

It’s a small world.




Why did the poet kill himself

by walking into the road?

Because he thought there

was nothing left to right.

 walking into the road



I never thought I’d buy into Feng Shui.

But oh how the tables have turned.




I was in a music group

called ‘Illegal imports’.

We were a contraband.





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