“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
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Tsk, tsk indeed. What a terrible thing to do.
But what is also terrible, and the more terrible the better it seems, are puns.
It’s word play day.
Enjoy or endure!!!
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When it comes to making money,
I’ve got to hand it to my wife.
All of it.
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Apprehended:
The new App that reminds
you your hen is dead.
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I had an argument with my neighbor
about my trees growing over his fence.
When I extended the olive branch
it only made matters worse.
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I went into a bar and said to the guy serving,
‘How much is a pint of lager?’
He replied,
‘Five hundred and sixty-eight millilitres.’
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My identical twin was hit by a bus last year.
He’s not been the same since.
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I got lost on my first day of college,
which is when I met my wife.
She was lost too, and neither I nor she knew
what class we were supposed to be in.
And as I stared into her eyes,
I knew that we had chemistry.
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I brewed 5 gallons of homebrew.
It was pretty weak so my friend offered me ten bucks
if I could drink the lot in one session…
I was going to accept, but in the end I bottled it.
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I live for my alarm clock collection,
it’s the only reason I get up in the morning.
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I just fired my limousine driver.
I don’t know why,
because I have nothing to chauffeur it.
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Just had lunch at an excellent Christian restaurant
called “The Lord Giveth”.
They also do takeaways.
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My wife was preparing lunch today when she asked,
“Sweetheart, where’s the cheese grater?”
“Some would say France, others would say England,” I replied.
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I bought some really odd shaped eggs
but now i can’t find them.
I think they’ve been mislaid.
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Me and my girl plan to recreate every position
from the Kama Sutra tonight using only Lego bricks.
The excitement is building.
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I asked my son what his sexuality was.
He replied ”bi”.
Ironically, his answer forced me
to say the exact same thing.
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Eminem goes to check the weather
It’s rainy and gray outside
He goes back to watch TV
Checks weather back in 10 minutes
Still shady
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