Ivory hunters, tsk tsk.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”


Tsk, tsk indeed. What a terrible thing to do.

But what is also terrible, and the more terrible the better it seems, are puns.

It’s word play day.

Enjoy or endure!!!




When it comes to making money,

I’ve got to hand it to my wife.

All of it.

cartoon handing money to wife




The new App that reminds

you your hen is dead.




I had an argument with my neighbor

about my trees growing over his fence.

When I extended the olive branch

it only made matters worse.

trees growing over fence



I went into a bar and said to the guy serving,

‘How much is a pint of lager?’

He replied,

‘Five hundred and sixty-eight millilitres.’

pint v milliliters



My identical twin was hit by a bus last year.

He’s not been the same since.




I got lost on my first day of college,

which is when I met my wife.

She was lost too, and neither I nor she knew

what class we were supposed to be in.

And as I stared into her eyes,

I knew that we had chemistry.




I brewed 5 gallons of homebrew.

It was pretty weak so my friend offered me ten bucks 

if I could drink the lot in one session…

I was going to accept, but in the end I bottled it.




I live for my alarm clock collection,

it’s the only reason I get up in the morning.

alarm clock collection



I just fired my limousine driver.

I don’t know why,

because I have nothing to chauffeur it.

limousine driver



Just had lunch at an excellent Christian restaurant

called “The Lord Giveth”.

They also do takeaways.




My wife was preparing lunch today when she asked,

“Sweetheart, where’s the cheese grater?”

“Some would say France, others would say England,” I replied.




I bought some really odd shaped eggs

but now i can’t find them.

I think they’ve been mislaid.

odd shaped eggs



Me and my girl plan to recreate every position

from the Kama Sutra tonight using only Lego bricks.

The excitement is building.

Kama Sutra Lego bricks



I asked my son what his sexuality was.

He replied ”bi”.

Ironically, his answer forced me

to say the exact same thing.




Eminem goes to check the weather

It’s rainy and gray outside

He goes back to watch TV

Checks weather back in 10 minutes

Still shady





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