“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
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Pun Day is here again.
I’m sure you’re delighted!
So here is the latest assortment of word play jokes.
Enjoy or endure.
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Did you hear about the scarecrow that won an award?
He was outstanding in his field.
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The dealer asked me ‘how much are you willing to pay for the car?’
‘1500, tops’, I responded
‘OK,’ he replied, ‘but they better be short sleeved’.
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If I had a penny for every time someone
gave me their dog to look after,
I’d have a pound!
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I phoned 911 to report my bike being stolen in the park.
They asked, “What does it look like?”
I replied, “It’s big, green and full of swings.”
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Isn’t it odd that funerals always begin
not with sorrow but with fun?
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Female Ninjas
Now there’s something you don’t see.
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The case against a donut thief
turned out to be full of holes.
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When the TV repairman got married
the reception was excellent.
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I’ve been sleeping with this bloke’s wife and today he sent me this text:
“You go near her again and ill have you dead! Mark my words!”
To which I replied:
“8 out of 10, I’ll requires an apostrophe and a capital I.”
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When Vincent van Gogh cut off his left ear,
his right ear was left.
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I failed my medical school entrance exam because of nerves.
The correct answer was blood vessels.
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To some – marriage is a word…
to others – a sentence.
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Saw a dude squatting behind a gravestone in the old graveyard.
I thought “What is he doing? I’m letting him know that I see him”
So I shouted “Morning!”
And he shouts back, “Nah, just taking a dump.”
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Headline taken from the Peterborough Evening Telegraph:
“MPs call for jobs blow to be reversed”
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Never mind the fifth Beatle, what about the other
three hundred and fifty seven Degrees?
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fasab 